How can I take control of my teenagers?

I have a 12 yr old and a 14 yr old. They hate the school they are in so they make it an absolute project to get there everyday. I am tired of it. They do what they can to lie about getting their homework done. I check the school’s homework site constantly and when I question them, they say, “I handed that in the other day.” Come ot find out later, no they did not!!! When they have a 1/2 day, I go through this ALL the time, “why do we have to go, no one goes on a 1/2 day.” It is a pure battle. I ground them, I take the internet away, I take their privledge of hanging out with their friends away, and nothing works. I am a single mother, so I am battling this alone. I am at a loss. How do I control them without loosing it and then they end up controlling me? Man, I knew teenagers would be hard to raise, but I feel like I need to put them in a military school to get them motivated. The worst thing is, I am tempted to let them fail. They do not get what they want, they do their own thing anyways, despite all my efforts.

Answer #1

I am a teenager myself and there only doing this to you because it gives them some thing to do and laugh about. angery seems fuuny but in the long run they will see that it isn’t.

you need to sit them dwon one by one and explain what you are going though and maybe they will understand.

Answer #2

I would suggest maybe some kind of reward… umm, reward board or whatever its called. Like doing their chorus they earn a star, doing a good deed earns another star, finish homework earns two stars or something like that then when they have 5 stars give ‘em 5 bucks, or let them choose where they want to eat, or create some kind of reward. Altho if they misbehave remove a star. I talked to someone who did this and they didnt really think it would work and sounded a bit silly surprisingly it worked great. So I guess the choice is yours if you want to try it ???

Answer #3

You need to sit them down and explain to them that they are part of the family and, as such, have certain responsibilities to the family and to themselves. They need to help you in managing the house AND they need to be self-responsible in maintaining their attendance and grades in school.

Explain to them that you are willing to help them as much as you can but that you are also willing to let them fail in their classes, if that is what they really want, but that getting kept back grades in school will distance them from their friends and classmates for the rest of their school years.

You need to start giving them some “tough love” or they will keep taking advantage of you.

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Answer #4

Hi I am 18 and I used to get straight F’s all threw middle school and I hated school never wanted to go I would fight all the time to getmy mom tolet me stay home I hated shool so badand Inever did my homework and when my mom punished me I was worse then I talked with my mom and instead of punishing them reward them when they do good tell them that if they bring home a good grade youll have a day out with them or even a movie night and they get to pick the movie and youll buy popcorn to or tell them youll give them $50 if they bring home al A’s thats when my mom started to do she never told me she was disapointed in me she would just say that it wasnt my best and she belives in me and that I could do better and that made me want to strive to do better it will take time but make thm feel good about a A or B on a test or even a C and they will want to work harder thats what my mom did now I have straigt A’s and it does not come easy to me its hard but now I try harder because my mom can belive in me and after 4to5 years I finally made tha 50 dollors and now I am working as hard as ever hope this helps

Answer #5

Children always learn if you act as if you’re on their side!Got what I said!

Answer #6

you know what, you shouldn’t ground them or restrict them from hanging out with friends. I’m a teenager and I know how it feels like to be grounded. Just give them some space and a bit of freedom. If you r on all over them, you r annoying to them and they will feel nothing but hatred towards you and it’ll make them worse. Do you seriously think that it will motivate them if you make them stay at home? I dont’ think so. Give them some space! My parents do those you do to your kids to me. And I’m 16! and I was the brightest girl in my class in high school. I just hate them. So I really think you should just let them decide what they are going to do or what they want to do. They’ll get it later.

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