Seperated from husband, in love with another. Completely confused.

I am not sure where to start, and I will try and spare lengthy rambles.

I recently in December officially separated from my husband. I separated from him because he works a crazy shift…7 days in a row rotating from 1rst to 2nd then 3rd and so on. During the end of our marriage living together, I met someone who lives a slight distance away. And after talking to him I realized that I had fallen in love with him. Don’t get me wrong, I never cheated on my husband physically however I know emotionally is just as bad. My husband and I share a child which is where everything falls apart.

My current boyfriend so to say, is currently in school, and cannot move until this summer. However, from all the talks that we have had it seems to clear to me that he is too scared to move so far away from his family, which is understandable. Now we have always talked about after the divorce, I would find a job, and move down there and start anew, because here I have no job. I have looked but this terrible state offers nothing that pays for daycare, rent, and still puts food on the table. However, our state has a 100 mile rule, and I cannot without court approval move more then 100 miles away from my child’s father without court approval. The chances of this are seeming slimmer and slimmer as the days move on. And I dont want you all to think that I would solely move down there to fall in love, I would also be attending a college that actually has my major, the closest one to me now is over 100 miles away.

My husband and I currently can’t spend more then 20 minutes together without arguing. He works too much, has no time for our child. which really really aggrivates me. I felt like I was a part time wife for so long and felt that him and I grew apart. we no longer even share the same interests. Now my boyfriend so to say, is nothing like my husband. And I have never felt the way I feel when I am with him as I have about anybody else before. Ever. Not even in the happy parts of my marriage…which really was just me being content. I married someone I wouldn’t swallow the moon for so to speak.

My husband went to find himself this weekend. and called me today saying he does not know what he wants anymore but he made it very clear that he is pretty sure that doesn’t involve me. While talking to my boyfriend today, I found an old digital camera and popped in the memory card and saw pictures of my old life. It was pictures form the time my child was born till about 1 years old. And it made me think of all the good times that I had. However, after the foreclosure, moving, and all the fighting, which seems to take up more of my marriage then any “happy” time that I can remember, I am confused.

Do I miss the friendship him and I shared? Do I miss just the family? Am I just scared that me and my current love will not work out and that I won’t have anybody?

I am having a hard time fighting through my emotions right now. On one hand I am scared that I am loving someone who eventually will just go away because of the distance and that he isn’t willing to relocate for me IF Need be, however, I wouldn’t demand that of him. He deserves someone by his side who can love him and devote all of their time to him. on the other hand I have a marriage technically that I never really gave a chance from the start to be happy and let it drift downhill.

EVen if no one can give me advice on my husband…and I know, no one needs to tell me I need to pick one or the other I KNOW THIS ALREADY…I dont know mainly what to do our how to handle the current long distance problem that I am having.