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Rape Within the Family

I recently found out that my grandfather had sexually abused and raped my mum when she was a teen and to her early twenties. I’m nearing 30 and until then hadn’t been told about it at all. My grandfather is actually my step-grandfather to begin with, my real grandfather having walked out many, many years ago and having been dead for nearly ten years now. Suffice to say, you can see where the deep hurt comes from. My mum only told us because she was going to talk to a class about rape and didn’t want us to hear second-hand but she’s long since forgiven my grandfather for his crimes. The problem is I’m just finding out- would you have told your children/family or just let it go as a family secret?

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Answer #1

No. go confront your grandfather.

Answer #2

I think news like that would blow over smoothly in a christmas card.

Answer #3

In this situation it would probably be best to tell the family. If not because going silent about sexual abuse is only an act of condoning it, but because the abuser in this case has a large role in the family (grandfather) who would probably spend a lot of time around other members of the family, who he could potentially victimize.

Unfortunately, it sounds like your mother never did anything about it and we do have a limitation on filing reports about this kind of abuse. You should definitely keep an eye on this man and watch how he acts around other the family to stop something like what happened to your mother happening to someone else.

Answer #4

i would confront my grandfather if i were u

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