Do you believe that parenting using "fear" is better or parenting using communication and teaching responsibility is better?

Personally i agree with angelee27…fear doesnt do anything positive but add hate & resentment to that list. (we all remember a time when our parents gave us hell for doing something wrong that wasnt to their liking…how many of you remembering cursing them out under your breath…really wishing you had other parents or just ran away…hell I did that about a gazillion times! lol)

teaching them responsibilities is the best way to go…for an action there is always a reaction or consequence…time outs…punishments like no movies…no cell…no friends after school…what kids hate the most is reading out loud….i dont know why but it is really annoying…best punishment ever! :P Who wants to read out loud instead of hanging out with friends…lol besides it breaks that cycle…no more violence!

In my house, our parents used the ‘fear’ card on us. When we were younger, it definitely worked, but eventually we would do it anyway, but try not to get caught. My mom and dad were not open about anything. If we asked questions (about sex, for instance) they would totally avoid the subject. So we weren’t properly educated on the subject. I wish my parents would have been open with things, and explained what would happen if we did certain things.. Not ‘’If you do this, you’re getting spanked’’ but explain the real reason why they don’t want us doing it. If we ever asked ‘why’, they’d say ‘’Because I said so!’’… lol

i agree with you…i got the fear side too…why i resented them, hated them & cant forgive them(til this very day!) for the continuous abuse that went on for years!

Raising the voice can be needed sometimes, but using “fear” is wrong. I think parents are more open now in general than in the 1950’s and 60’s and that’s good.

i dont meen to be rude but fear has a new … saying …. F@ck Everything And Run so i would say no fear in a child ….

def communication

I just follow everything super nanny does lol

I dont know if it is the same thing as fear. But I think kids are severely lacking in respect today. And I think part of that respect is fear. The things kids say to their parents and their teachers today, I wasnt in high school that long ago and it would have been unimaginable. I think fear has its place. I gave my parents respect because I respected them. But that there would be severe negative repercussions for disrespect was just something we all knew (and I mean we as in those who grew up in my culture). And a lot of it was we feared disappointing them. I dont think that’s a bad thing. Parents arent meant to be your friends. I dont think there’s anything wrong with that.

Fear of being spanked would be unacceptable. Fear of having to face the consequences of their actions would be fine. I find that many parents buffer the penalty a child has when they do something wrong. For example: grounding the child but letting them go to a party because they were so looking forward to it.

I am very open about what is good and what is bad. I am the kind of parent who will accept that my little angels do have their devil moments. If I give out a punishment it fits the crime and doesn’t go away until completed. For example: break someones property (even by accident) and you’ll find yourself doing their lawn chores until it’s paid for. For this reason my kids do fear me when it comes to being in trouble. On the flip side if they do something great they get a really good positive reinforcement.

One look and the question “is that acceptable behaivor? Why not?” can stop the rowdiest child.