my teen daughter does not love me

It is a bit complicated because I am divorced and my 14 yr. old daughter goes back and forth between my house and her fathers. Right now it appears that she loves her dad more because he is not in her business as much. So now she wants to move to her dad. this is very hurtful since I have been the one who has been there for her all the way. Should I just let her go?

Answer #1

I am also going through this, my daughter 14 has totally lost her way (drinking,refusing to come home,violence etc),her dad (we are divorced) is a very heavy drinker and does not set boundaries or even seem to care, so after a row at home she left and decided to stay with him. This was 6months ago now. She recently stole some jewelery from my house when she came to stay overnight with me,my late grandmother left me this so I was heartbroken. I decided enough was enough and reported her to the police (this was extremly difficult),they cannot do anything because I have no proof she took it, I know she did as noone else was at the house. Anyway my daughter now refuses to speak to me, my ex has told me I am out of order for reporting 1 of my own. I felt and still do that I did the right thing, she needs to learn that stealing is wrong. I hate to think of the things my ex is filling her head with about me (he also refuses to talk to me and seems to be enjoying the current situation), I am heartbroken in case I have lost her for good.

Answer #2

I am going through this very thing right now, and it feels like the end of the world without her here! I miss her so much and her dad has never been there and she is living with him not knowing how to act around him and I am scarred of losing her forever. I can’t sleep, I can’t eat, all I do is cry and worry about her.

Answer #3

you know what…when I was 15 I did the same thing to my mom. she was overly strict, and I was literally grounded all the time, but I didn’t hate my mom. I loved her very much. I just couldn’t stand being squashed under her thumb. it was like living in the military. it was hard leaving her, and it hurt me. I’m not saying that you are anything like my mom was, and you are being the best mom you can be. just support your daughters decision either way, and make sure that her father knows that she needs boundries and rules. I know that its painful, but everyone needs to find their own way eventually. by the way, my mom and I are best friends now and have been for years. you and your daughter will be fine no matter where she lives.

Answer #4

look she does love you , maybe she likes her father more because hes spoiling her or hes the “nicer” parent or the push over parent, and thats why she wants to move with her father it can also be that there might be a boy she is intrested in, that lives over there,

but in most cases that this happends is because whenever shes over there hes brain washing her in some way, that happend to my older sister when her mom and my dad broke up her mom kept on telling her nasty things about my father and she didnt want to live with him

so you need to have a talk with your ex and sort things out

then talk to your daughter and see exactly why she wants to move witht him

hope I helped :)

Answer #5

You should try talking to her and give her more attention. She Is maybe just frustrated and confused about something. Before, I was very upset at my mom for being strict, So then, I said that I wanted to move to my dad. Well, of course I did not mean it. Most teens get up set easily because of puberty. and when your daughter said she wanted to move, I am sure she was trying to hurt your feelings. You should spend more quality time with her.

Answer #6

I know it can be very hurtful to hear your daughter doesnt love you and she wants to be with her father. She’s just being a bratty teen. This too shall pass… Stand firm, you are being the better parent if not the “nicer” one. Do you want your daughter running out there without rules and without anyone looking out for what she’s up to? Just know that your kid loves you (no matter what she says or thinks) and just keep chanting, this too shall pass!

Answer #7

I’ve been through the same thing when my mum and dad split, it’s common. Your daughter is at a vulnerable state. She just wants to be loved. maybe she feels her Dad lets her get away with things you wouldn’t and feels he’s more on her wavelength. You, therefore, need to prove to her that you are not too strict and you can let her past the boundaries now and again- she needs some freedom.

She is obviously confused and just needs reassuring that you love her because she will love you, she’s just going through a rough patch and needs reassuring.

Answer #8

No! You should speak to her father about how you feel and about placing boundaries at both homes. If your daughter wants to leave because you give her responsibility and values then you should put your foot down and make her uderstand. If that is a big IF your husband will be willing to set a shedule, curfew, and responsibilities then let her stay a couple of weeks with him and then analyze the results. Before all this talk to the father and your daughter at the same time.

You seem like a responsible and caring mother.

Answer #9

I’m sure she doesn’t love her dad more than you, she just prefers him to be in charge of her actions because he is less strict. Every 14 year old girl thinks they know everything and should have no rules whatsoever. You need to talk to your ex husband and make sure his rules are the same as yours. Curfews, homework, boyfriends, etc. You have to be a united force as parents both wanting the same thing, the best for your daughter.

Answer #10

Thank you for the wonderful advice. This has been very helpful to me, since it has been extremely hurtful to see her turn away from. We have been so close all along and I am having a bit of a hard time to see her grow up and away from me. I know that there are few if any rules at her dad’s, because she is there only every other weekend and every Wednesday night. While she is with me, we struggle with every day issues.

Thanks guys!!

Answer #11

I dont no if she really likes her dad more mabie its a boyfriend you have or mabie her dad lets her have more choices so if he lets her do just about all that she wants to if thats the case then she would want to be free all the time if you did nothing to deserve this then something else is going on and thats not the reason.

im sure she loves you still

Answer #12

she does love you just give her more space and show her that you care

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