My Mum - HELP!

My mum is never at home, I see her about 30 mins a day, she is asleep when I leave in the morning, she is only home to cook dinner but even then she doesn’t pay any attention to us… she is always on the phone or on the computer.

When she gets back from work she is happy for about a minute, but then she turns depressed. Me and my sisters are not badly behaved, we do loads, but she is never happy, I put in loads of effort at school but she barely congratulates me when I do well.

Sometimes she says she wants to spend time with us, but we never do anything she just ends up falling asleep. I really miss her, and I feel that she hates me. She says that I should go live my dad becasue I never talk to her. But if she took the time to talk to me properly she would see that I am naturally quiet… I don’t talk much.

She doesn’t even know my teachers name. She doesn’t have any idea about what I am doing at school or who my friends are. Whats more is that she is always pressuring me to spend loads of times with my friends outside school when she knows I don’t like doing lots of that, and that is just what I am like. It is like she just wants to get rid of me.

She gets really angry really easily… one thing goes slightly wrong and she shout and she takes her anger out on us. She only ever talks about… her work, her friends and her boyfriend. Never about me.

Its like she hates being with me.

What shall I do?

Thanks

Answer #1

Oh dear, whoever-you-are…

I do wish I could sincerely say, ‘Oh she loves you, but maybe she is just too overworked and worried about other things to be able to show it.’

But … I have met some people who never really felt involved with their kids, and I have met some other people whose parents - sometimes the father, sometimes the mother - really neglected them. Not everyone makes a good parent, and the ‘mother’s instinct’ doesn’t come naturally to everyone. I’m sorry, I wish it did.

So what to do? Don’t give up trying - but have you got any other relatives out there? Maybe an aunt or grandmother, or maybe even the parents of a friend? We all need friends - our age, but also ‘parent figures’. I really do hope you can find someone!

In the meantime - keep looking, keep trying, and who knows? maybe your mother will snap out of this bad period and be able to get closer to you some day.

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