How can I get my mother to listen to me?

I posted a question about my breathing problems because of my mothers second hand smoke a couple of days ago. Shortly after I asked that question I had a doctors appointment for an allergy test. The allergy test showed the same things as my breathing test did. Which is that my lungs just cannot handle smoke. When I came back from my second appointment I told my mom the doctor said she has to start smoking outside. She said she figured that’s what would need to be done. So I got really excited thinking finally, after 16 years, I wouldn’t have to deal with her smoke. Well, just today I came out to the living room just as she was lighting a smoke and I told her to go outside. She said she didn’t have to. I told her once again that the doctors said she has to, and she said “I’m psyching myself up for it.” And then I exploded at her, “What is there to psych yourself up for? All you have to do is take your smoking outside.” Then she said its because she would not be able to sit down and relax while having a smoke. So I took one of our kitchen chairs and put it outside and asked her if that was good enough. She started getting angry with me and we had a huge fight. Does she not care that shes slowly killing me? After our fight she went outside for a smoke, but I know she most likely will not keep this up. What do I have to do? The doctor has told her right to her face that its a problem and she still didn’t listen. What do I have to do?? I’m at a loss right now.

Answer #1

It really depends how far your willing to take it first i would say once both of you have calmed down have a serious disscusion and possibly get your doctor to have a chat with her by getting him to phone her or at your next appointment asking your mum to come with you so he could speak to her.If your mum doesn’t cooperate then you could stay out of the room that she is smoking in then air it out once she is finished so you can use it or get her to only smoke in say her bedroom or another room that you both can agree on but if she refuses to then i suppose you could contact social services since it is threatening your health but try talking to her first and explaining to her that her haboit is not only killing her but it is killing you her child even your doctor has agreed with that and that if she wishes to kill her own child that is dispicable.

Answer #2

i understand the way you feel. you care about your mother and yourself. smoking is a problem most grown ups have to deal with, and sence your mother probably started earlie in her live is gonna be hard for her to get out of the habit. your scared about yourself also, wich is completely accaeptable,i understand that you have talk to her about it, i mean REALLY talk to her about it, let everything out, tell her how you feel and maybe she will try to stop or prevent you from harm of second hand smoking.

Answer #3

Unfortunately I can’t just stay out of the room shes smoking in because me and my mom live in a very small one bedroom apartment, so it’s kind of hard to escape it. Another thing, is that I have actually had several serious calm talks with her and nothing has changed AND the doctor has talked to her. My sister who doesn’t live with us anymore has talked to her as well. This is why I am so confused as to what else I can do. Everyone I can get to talk to has already and it hasn’t changed anything. Another one of my plans is to stay out of the house for a couple of weeks. I have a few friends that I could spend a couple nights in each of their houses and I have my sisters too. Does anyone think that might work? So she can see that I am serious.

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