My mom and her new job

ok. so you yourself are a bt lost. you feel that you have been let down by your dad and now he’s all happy “what did I do wrong” you feel your stepdad and you don’t get on (not the frst will not be th elast hunny) and your mum, you feel, has kind of abandoned you,

the mum; your mums life has ALWAYS orentated around you and your sister, right? now all of a sudden she’s never there. your mum doesn’t see this stuation the same way as you, I’m afraid - v common!. all of a sudden, after all these years your mum has an identity, she is no longer just a ‘mum’ or a ‘wife’. moreover, she is really inportant to someone else, who appears to need her more, and maybe in a way she can actually deal with, not to mention they’re paying her! your mum may also thnk that you are more capable than what you give yourself credt for. she may also find that the things you are gong to her with are out of her ‘comfort zone’? remember the last person your age she had to deal with was herself, and I am sure she feels being a teenager has changed tons since she was your age.

ok, so you have tried talking to your mum, and she s obviously too tired to spare the time.. thats the long and short of it. but life, I’m afraid, is all about choices. and at the moment she is choosing to do other things, rather than spend time with you. but why? you need to make it clear to her that you understand that she is busy, but she needs to find some time alone with you. she might not know what to say, don’t forget she may feel your relationship has changed too much for her to be able to relate to you anymore.

and if it’s brides she deals with, having been one myself, didn’t care that I would call at 11.00pm doubting my choice in favours, or that I was freaking out that aunt mildred was sitting next to b1tchy aunt gertrude and I knew that it would end in a war, so the table plan had to be changed there and then lol! vrides only care about one thing, their wedding, but your mum is not the bride, and she needs to distingush between te needs of her brides and the needs of her familys. yes they pay the bills, but what is that for if teres no one at home.

ok; I’m a mum, try this. pull her side on her own, when she’s not nipping upstairs or anything…(I used to ambush my mum while she was in the bath - I knew se’s be relaxed and would have allocated time aside) dont dive straght into your topic. just say, I know your busy, but “mum, I really need to talk to you about something” (this ones great - she’ll thn your pregnant and you’ll have her TOTAL attention lol!) and, honeslty, do this. it will make her feel gulty…simply ask her “what have I done? why don’t you want to spend anytime with me anymore. I now you’re busy, but I really miss you”

you will have her absolute attention, and she will realise that she is, again, a valuable person in your life.

mums sometimes find t hard to remember that we matter. when our children are here there and evrywhere and seemingly content, we sometmes don’t remember that you only have the confdence to be like that, because you know we’re always there. so sometimes, we feel a little redundant too…

good luck, what ever you do, be sincere, not over emotional, DO NOT get angry and all “you do this for them and this for that” that will make her want to defenc herself.

personally, good on her. going back to work and leaving that stable home environments hard. maybe offer to help out at a wedding or something, be interested in what she’s doing, there s probably little in your life she can be involved in…

try talking to her that happens to me all the time since my mom got her job and I talked to her try sceduling something you to love to o when she has a ay of and try telling her how you feel about her an her job

I would talk to her.. tell her exactly how you feel. then on the days she doesnt work.. if that’s like weekends or something then do something special with her each weekend -Hope I helped!

Dont worry girl. Everything will be fine soon. Maybe your mum is really busy now. Try to understand her.

People say : “ after the rain, there will be rainbow.”.

So dont worry. I guess when your mum is free, both of you will go back to close relationship.

Perhaps you can find someone else to share your joys and sorrows with. Like your closefriend and boyfriend. I guess they are willing to be there for you. If not, you can just ask questions in funadvice. All of us in funadvice are here to give and receive advices.

Good luck ! ^^

sorry I have a new keyboard and it’s a nightmare - I’m not used to typing with it yet grrr

well I suppose what you can do is write a letter to your mum about how you feel and leave it on the kitchen bench so she can read it and undastand how you feel. also what you can do iz talk 2 your boyfriend about it and c what he cumz up with…anotha idea iz that there should b a kids helpline that you can contact , we have 1 in australia that is 24 hours , 7 days a week so I am sure your country has 1! well if you need any more advice or help I am here! xoxo