Does her purity vow mean we can't do anything?

I know this was posted ages ago and nobody will look at it now, but come on funguy, how can you possibly defend yourself against funadvice?

You claimed to be only wanting to know what the purity ring entails, but you said you “don’t want to cheat on her”. All that seems to say is that you might have to cheat unless you get some kind of relief though whatever way you were hoping the purity ring would allow. So how much do you love her if that’s even a temptation?

I don’t believe doing anything sexually with her is permitted, but if you’re still feeling the way you are, maybe you need to sort out your sexual problems rather than blaming your frustration on her vows. I don’t think that her vow is the problem.

Also, funadvice wasn’t attention seeking but making a relevant point about your attitude which I hope by now has changed! =)

P.S. You know what I think? I think your girlfriend is no older than thirteen… and neither are you, for that matter. You certainly don’t sound like you were born in 1989.

thats the thing though. I have year long repore with this girl and dont want to upset her to make her think twice. I’m madly in love with her and know for a fact shes the women I want to spend my life with. I’d hate to mess that up.

acctually Im 18 and shes 19. I do respect her decision thats why I HAVEN’T acted on my feelings so far. I’ve never tried pressuring her into sex because I DO respect what shes trying to do. The whole reason I came here was to find out exactly what her purity entails. I’ve never even pushed the issue with any kind of sexual contact, even speaking of sex around her to make her feel more comfortable. In fact she made the move into kissing then making out. What prompted this, in part, was a conversation we had AT WORK, a small scale anti-drug NPO, a week ago. She said that she wished she could do more for me and her primary concern was my own obligation, Clerical Chastity/Celibacy, and didn’t want me to loose my Deconship. All I know is neither of us can have sex but for me “sexual contact” is ok. We are of different religions and what is acecptabe is very different im sure. The only reason I’ve never mentioned anything to her was to avoid her own embaresment. And BLESS YOU xiigzag I hope most of your other advice is better. Personally attacking someone isn’t the proper way of getting their attention. if you knew anything about education you would know that your methods are ineffective. Breaking a person down and dissing there character is only effective 2 out of 10 times outside of the military. Heaven Help anyone you meet pondering suicide.

Hey,I don’t know if anyone is actually reading this but I believe that if you feel the need to ask whether or not something is immoral, you already know the answer which is most the time what you want to do is immoral. I’m glad that you are lookking for advice before you do something that could potentially change your life and I’d advise that you seek an anonymous Christian advice forum… Part of why purity is so important to hold on to before marriage is that you might not end up with the person or people that you give yourself away to and you’ll always have a piece of them in your head/heart that you won’t be able to get rid of.I’d like you to think about two things: A)how awkward would it be to see an ex that you’d been intimate with after you were married with children? B)you are technically stealing from your husband/wife to be because you’re giving away sexual oppurtunities that should have been shared with them… By the way if the phrase ends with sex, it is sex… the term “sex” comes from “sexual intercourse” which is when the two sexes - male and female as God created them - join… for a moment during intercourse of any kind, be it oral/anal/vaginal the two become one which is a gift meant only for those who had already become one in spirit Lastly, if you believe that you and your boyfriend/girlfriend are a forever deal, you should look into what’s holding you back from marriage and deal with it. I’m not saying that you should get married if you wanna have sex, merely that you should wait to be married to engage in it. My grandparents actually had sex outside of marriage and they ended up both being ministers and very much in love for all 53+ years of their marriage… but they still had committed that sin and encouraged all of their offspring to wait. Okay, so that’s pretty much it, but I think everyone should remember that GOD wants us to wait until marriage for all sexual acts. Bye! GOD bless, I’m praying for all of you!

Am I missing the obvious here, in that the easiest way to ask what her purity vow entails and covers is to ask her yourself, and in doing so you’ll also be letting her know that you might like to try some of these things?

Me and my Girlfriend went through something simmiar to this recently…Last night in fact. I Wouldn’t worry to much about your Clerical Obligations bro. I am a Chaplain and trust me its no big deal. As long as your not sticking little limp Timmy into her honey jar you’re ok. An@l sex and oral are acectable for you. As for her…thats a horse of a different color. My lady and I got on the subject after HE popped out while we were kissing…Well hes always out when we kiss but for some reason she found him. Later she asked me about it and I fessed up. We expressed our thoughts on the idea and she broke down how purity works…Well how HER purity works. they set up these rules and you try not to break them…Which include talking about, thinking about, wondering, and performing sexual acts on oneself ..Something she does quite often I guess, YEAH THAT RIGHT I GOT ME A FREAKY GIRL YESSS. So she set up her own rules and alters them if need be…Long story short I’m getting a JB and shes gets have the pink canoe serviced my a pro.. I don’t see the harm in asking her about it…If shes that big a prude that she wont talk about it chances are she wont even do it after your married. I mean for all you know shes could be unclogging the jar as we speak.

…seriously. If you haven’t successfully pressured her into having sex with you, good for her. Staying pure until marriage (meaning no masturbation or oral either) is her choice. She may be telling you that it’s because she took that class, but I’m pretty sure she’s not having sex with you because she DOESN’T WANT to.

If you can’t respect her beliefs, I suggest you find a new girl. She clearly deserves better than you.

I was just viewing this and found it preatty helpfull all the answers, the reason I found this is because I googled does oral sex count for a purity ring, the reason being is because (im a guy) and I have a purity ring.. yeah. anyways my girlfriend keeps talking about dry sex and oral, I didn’t make any vow’s or whatever at an alter, but I’m trying to keep my virginity promise to MY self. what do you guys think.. do you think if I have dry sex with this girl or oral sex god will get like super pissed at me? lol =P thanks for the help