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Mother...How does this poem sound to you?

Please tell me the truth… How does this poem sound to you?

Mother.

Mother, where are you, mother, where are you, can you hear me? the screams, the crying, do you see the pain I’m in? mother, I need you, I need your love, can you come to my rescue? mother, I’m speaking to you, I’m trying to see, why don’t you ever listen to me? mother, you’re not really here for me, I know, but I don’t understand… Mother…

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Answer #1

Well, it shows your pain. I’m not sure about the last two lines because at first I thought the mother had left but the last two lines seem to suggest she is there but ‘absent’. Maybe you could look at that contradiction? It would make more sense if you put ‘you’re not here for me - I know but I don’t understand.’

Answer #2

all poems dont have to ryme. I love how you did this though. its very emotional and I like the repitition of words. it show the most important points in the poem. I think your very talented. I write too (just to let you know) id love to talk sometime [=

Answer #3

whats it about?

Answer #4

Its good, but sad, whats your pattern? bcs its a little off.

Answer #5

That’s pretty depressing

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