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would you tell your kids about a previous child put up for adoption?

ok so I had a child at the age of 14, I put her up for adoption because it was best. So how/should I tell my kids that I did that?

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Answer #1

First of all, how old are your kids?

Answer #2

they are 9 and 12

Answer #3

Be careful. The older one is having issues already and in their mind they need to feel secure and not have the fear that one day, they could be put up for adoption too. The little one may have thoughts like those if its not done properly, specially if she feels that her behavior is causing you to struggle.

Answer #4

I don’t think there’s a need to tell them at the young an age. Maybe when they’re like 18 or even older you can tell them because they’ll be more mature and understanding of your decision.

Answer #5

thanks Benito, I don’t plan to do it anytime soon. I’m just torn on whether or not to say anything ever

Answer #6

Yeah I was thinking when they got older, or even at all, thanks for your help :-)

Answer #7

The choice you made was noble and it was the best choice so don’t feel bad about that. I know you probably feel like you are keeping something from them and want to get it of your chest. That has to be quite a burden on you as you may be worried that they would find out from someone else or how will they change toward you if you tell them, years from now, and they feel like they should have been told.

Answer #8

Thanks and you read my mind exactly. Its like I tell them to not lie and keep things from me, then I turn around and do it to them, ya know what I mean

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