Is it cheating when your husband goes to strip clubs?

I know this is an old question, but on the off chance that another person comes across this page with the same question, I’d like to add my thoughts…

It IS cheating if you feel that it is AND you have expressed that to him. However, since stripping unfortunately isn’t considered a “sexual” act by the general public he may not see anything wrong with it.

Many people would define cheating strictly as engaging in sexual intercourse or oral copulation, but since cheating is in fact rather a betrayal of a partner’s trust then ANY sexual activity that that partner feels is off limits outside of the relationship is indeed cheating.

Strip clubs are geared towards sexual arousal (not generally sexual intercourse though…thankfully), thus you have the complete right to expect your partner to not engage in those activities. I imagine he would be outraged if the situation were reversed and you had a hot young stud grinding on you.

Thus, I would suggest you sit down with him and express your love for him and your feelings regarding his patronage of strip clubs. I would also agree with beenloved above, that you should talk about what he get’s from going to the clubs, and see if there is a way for him to find that within your relationship in a way that makes you comfortable.

If it makes you feel this uncomfortable you must let him know, you can’t continue to let yourself feel this way, he should respect your feelings and stop going to strip clubs and spend more time with you and your child. If hes going for the something new to see. Then try doing something exciting and new for him in the bedroom, buy some sexy lingerie, light some candles, make a whole night devoted to pleasing him. Make sure he knows your still here, and he doesn’t need strippers.

Good luck.

Oh yes it is definitely cheating. I am sorry that you are having to deal with this, but be assured you are not alone. After dating my boyfriend for almost a year, I made it clear that I do not approve of strip clubs. He assured me that he loved me and doesn’t like the places anyway and only goes a few times a year with one of his friends. A year later (we had been dating for two years at this point), we got into a fight. The next night, instead of taking me out and working on our relationship he decided to out to eat with his friend he admittedly used to go to the strip clubs with. He told me they were going to a place that I knew was already closed. I went to the strip club to find him front and center staring at a naked girl playing with her pussy. I sat on his lap and said, “Hi babe”. He said, “What the fck are you doing here?” to which I replied, “WHAT THE FCK ARE YOU DOING HERE??!!”. Needless to say I felt used, lied to, abandoned, not good enough, angry, violated, and hurt all at the same time. I pay for half the bills, I do whatever he wants sexually, I am attractive, I am educated, I keep the house clean, do all the laundry, detail our cars, cook, and buy him whatever he needs and wants with my money. Instead of talking to me about an argument, he was there spending money on a slut. I am glad I caught him but I am still very upset and it has been four months. To be completely honest, it still makes me cry. I now do not trust him and I always wonder what he is doing and I wonder if he has done it before I caught him, or if he has actually had intercoures with another female. If you are in a committed realtionship, either married, or living together and splitting costs/responsibilities, and you are not swingers, it IS cheating. I do not go look for sexual exploits when we get into fights, I am usually at the store trying to buy him a special gift or card, or make him his favorite meal or do something nice. Do not put up this behavior. You deserve better. Although I only caught him once, I do not forsee my relationship working out long-term like I once thought I would. I cannot trust him, and he obviously doesn’t respect me, and I am sick of being worried and angry. I would have to say very few women are okay with this behavior, and most that are seem to be bisexual. I wish you luck.

Invite one of his guy friends over to the house… and rub all over him - your husband should not have a problem with that…

I just recently found out that my husband went to a strip club. He went to on a weekend beach trip with his brother before his brother’s wedding. It was never presented to me as a “bachelor party” weekend. So I had no idea that strippers were on the agenda. As it turned out, the best man in the wedding told me how proud I should be of my husband that he did not engage in lap dances that weekend. I was more than pissed. As a matter of fact, this incident has caused a lot of conflict between me, my friend, my husband, and my husband’s family.

The response I get from my best friend was absolutely the worst. She says “oh come on, what did you think they were going to do?” Well then why didn’t she mention the word “strip club” to me when I told her that he was going??? So nobody ever mentions a word about it and now I look like the dummy for being surprised.

Unfortunately, the girls at strip clubs offer more than just lap dancing…a guy in that state rarely EVER says no! Don’t be fooled or lied to…you’re being too “nice”.