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How do I handle the impact of grief?

My mother died recently after a short but serious illness. It was not a acomplete surprise and she was pretty miserable. We lived far away and so e-mailed every day for years. I am by choice a bit of a loner and so the only social contact that I get is for the most part pleasant and superficial through and with the wonderful people I work with. I work two days a week. I am married to a wonderful but very busy man that I support his community spirit and giving nature…..so I hardly wnat to burden him with my minor complaints of feeling needy! We have a great life, wonderful self supporting adult children etc….but I just feel needy and don’t know what for actually?! Anyone else feel this way?- cupatea

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Answer #1

I think we all feel needy at times. It sounds to me like you want your mommy. Mom’s void will not be easily filled. I don’t have the experience you have so I can’t advise too well. All I can tell you is that while I do understand your desire to want to figure this out without being a “burden”, it’s also totally cool to just tell your hubby you need some “you” time, maybe take a vacation together. Heck, go down to Mexico for a few days. One of those all inclusive resorts. A change will do you some good. Redecorate a bedroom, get a little make over, take up a new hobby or start working out. But mostly, go to Mexico ;).

Remember, your mother can hear you and see you. Just because they are on the other side–it doesn’t mean they are lost and gone forever from you. So talk to her, know she’s listening.

Hope you get well soon.

Answer #2

Dear Cupstea,

I’m sorry for your lost but noone is here forever and your mother is in a better place now. As for troubling your husband plz let him know that you are feeling needy because that is something a married couple should talk about. Most women btw the ages of 25 and 45 that feel needy have a 55% chance of cheating on their spouses, so DON’T HOLD BACK!!!! Tell him your anguish and ley your feelings go…you may find out that all you really needed was to talk yo someone about it

God bless, Sad_kloud (yoshimaru)

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