I think I'm going insane.

Ok, allow me to explain: I am thirteen years old, have been depressed for as long as I can remember. I have tried to kill myself four times, and to run away from home almost as many. I have also hurt people. Many people. I tried to strangle one; a girl who never even said anything wrong, perhaps just told me to shut up, I just lost it, I wanted her to die, and I don’t even know what she did wrong! I don’t know who I am half the time. I hurt people, my brain tells me to stop, but I just can’t! I don’t know whats the past and whats not, these images keep playing back and forth in my head, so that I just want to pull the trigger to make it stop! It’s doing my head in. I have so many secrets, and I’m tired of keeping them! Before you ask, I haven’t had the easiest life, and a lot of what I see or hear is flashbacks of things from my past. Am I even a person anymore? I could have killed that girl so easily. A life for a life, perhaps? I’m losing it. Who am I? I’ve wound people round my little finger. How many innocent people must get hurt because of my twisted little games? I don’t know whats real now. Everything I thought I knew seems like a lie. Someone help me, I think I’ve lost my mind…

Answer #1

It’s called growining up Sana, think of every day as being another page in your life, you dont like the previous chapters, so you don’t have to repeat whats going to happen on the next one. at your age there’s far too much going on in your life causing distractions to where you really want to be , and who you want to be, grab some time to your self, a lot of time, and try to focus on where you want to be in 5-10 years time, dont let bad memories/flahbacks of the past distract you from the present, block them out, say a prayer or something until they disappear, you’re not alone , we’ve all hurt people in the past one way or another. If your behaviour still worries you , I really would have your self medically checked to see what else is causing you to feel this way, dont despair. Franklyn,

Answer #2

just be positive… I know that keeping your own secrets is hard… but… tell your parents… or tell someone who you know you trust a lot… try to keep the pressure down… because if you lose it… then no one knows whats gonna happen… just keep your mind filled with stuff that makes you happy… dont think of whats wrong… be happy for as long as you can be… see someone… I know this might sound stupid (I don’t know)… but sometimes… if youre not organized with your things… you can be depressed… I know that because it happened to a girl in my school… she went nuts… and then the doctors said it was because she was always messy… so be organized… dont be messy… keep yourself happy no matter what… laugh when you can (I sometimes do that when im in class or wherever… I would just crack up like crazyy… my teacher would stare at me because I have no reason to laugh)… and I know… because when I was 12 I felt the same way… but I told my parents about it… and now im never depressed… just remember… it happens to everyone at some point… =)

Answer #3

Oh geez, well I STRONGLY suggest seing a pchsychiatrist or someone that can help you with your depression. You need to talk to someone. And by they way, if you don’t know who you are, then who else will?

Answer #4

tell someone. you might have a chemical mis balance in your head. [and im not trying to be a smart *ss either]

Answer #5

everything you feel is a state of mind there is no such thing as a “crazy” person you put it upon yourself first of all, try some meditation connect with urself because maybe your not as “crazy” as you might think yes, talking with some one else can be a good thing. Tell yourself what you think tell yourself what you want to happen I reccomend the book “The Secret” by Rhonda Byrne

Answer #6

I know how you feel im 13 years old I have deep dark secrets that make me feel like im explodin in my mind I’ve just ran awayfrum home and now living with my aunty I sometimes sit there and think whats the point of living then I c its my friends and family I’ve been having some ryt strange things happen to me that you might thinks craazy well just have to thinkin positive and just stay strong try relaxing and keep calm bit ya toung if ya have to .but trust me if ya want ya life to change tell some one your secrets if you just want your thought to be put at rest try it anyways I might do that for my self hope it helps take care x

Answer #7

I am 13 too and have tried to run away 3 times but I am still living at home and sometimes feel like lifes not worth living but I think we all need to be strong and I think you need to speak to someone about it :D x

Answer #8

You are at an age where hormones, emotions and even your brain are undergoing strong changes. It is natural to occasionally feel confused or depressed.

The best thing you can do is to talk to a counselor or therapist. Barring that, find someone you can communicate your emotions and thoughts with, sort of like a sounding board. Keeping your thoughts to yourself doesn’t help. If you can’t find someone around you then consider Fun Mailing someone on Fun Advice whose advice you like. It’s relatively private and gives you a good sounding board.

Check out the link below for information on teen depression.

Information on teen depression:


If you are having problems or are depressed, below are a couple of sites that may help you:


Check out the Befrienders link below. They are not only a suicide hotline but also offer help to people who are stressed or are in a state of depression.


In the U.S.A., you also have access to:

Boys Town National Hotline

Call With Any Problem, Any Time



Fun Mail a “sounding board”!

I would assume that you can’t talk about what you are going through with anyone because it is too personal and you don’t want others to know about it in relation to you.

The solution, then, might be to pick someone on Fun Advice whose advice you like and Fun Mail them. (You can check out the quality of someone’s advice by clicking on their name; going down to their recent advice, click on view all, then click on the questions that might interest you and view their answers.) Explain to them that you are having problems and want to have someone to use as a “sounding board” and would like to know if they would be willing to be your sounding board. Fun Mail is basically private, so you shouldn’t have any concerns about your privacy.

Although there are many users on Fun Advice who would be qualified, I’d suggest the person be an Advisor, for two reasons: First, most Advisors have several hundred or even thousands of Answers under their belt which can really give you a perspective about them; and second, you can simply click on the Advisors link at the top of the page and view a list of the most recently active Advisors with information about them AND a total of their Answers. (Don’t contact them by that “Ask me a question” link. That’s public. Instead, click on their name which will take you to their Profile page, then click on the “Send me Fun Mail” link on the left side of the page.)

You also have the ability to Fun Mail anyone (Advisor or otherwise) by clicking on the “Send me Fun Mail” link near the top of the Answer under the person’s name.

Welcome to Fun Advice!

        Simply a Rose to brighten your day,         And maybe lessen the cares in your way;         And also, too, to help you to know,         That in knowing you, many others grow!

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