Should I just let things take their course with him?

23/f Ok I have this friend Terry (26). He is a very good friend and we always have fun hanging out. And yes I do have a crush on him. We flirt all the time but it is always ALL talk. We can about literally anything. I can talk about guys and he won’t bad mouth them and it is the same when he talks about girls. Sure of course there is a twinge of jealousy when someone tries to get in the picture, but I don’t do anything about it. That is just not right. I want him to be happy.

I know I have to give it time if it is meant for me and him. Sometimes I feel that it is right there in front of us but neither one of us is blind to it. Well I thought I would make a little effort on new years eve. My friends and I were out bowling having a lot of fun. I thought it would be cute and bought this cheesy mistletoe.

Last day out of the year to get away with something like that. My friends got a kick out of it. (FYI I am sober throughout this whole thing) I also ran into Terry at the alley too and said he was going to have some people over at his house and that me and my friends were invited to come along.

Well I wanted to get there before midnight but my friends just took a little longer then I wanted them too. We got there just a matter of minutes afterwards when everyone is rushing outside to light off the firecrackers. I wanted to wish Terry a happy new yr, just was a little too hard with so many people around. I finally was able to stop him in the kitchen and I had the mistletoe.

I thought it was a clever little trick to be able to kiss him. And it did work; also that it was new years too. I felt very proud of myself too, that I took a little initiative. And we went on with the evening like nothing had happen.

Well… turns out, there was a girl that didn’t know that was kind of with him. She was almost always around him. At first I figured it was one of these young little girls (teenagers) that do have a tendency to follow him around since he is attractive. Well that was until I saw them sitting on the couch holding hands and cuddling. I felt like such a fool. If I had known they were together that night I respectively would not have tried anything.

I know when to not step on toes even when it does happen to me. So I mentally tell myself, “ok I have to back off, and let it be” So the next night I am at our Tuesday karaoke Night which we always go to. Terry is there and the girl wasn’t. But we didn’t do anything out the ordinary. We still continued to banter and flirt back and forth like nothing was different, because it wasn’t. I few of us went up to his house since it was up the street.

While most were down stairs, I was alone with Terry upstairs and we were talking and I made the effort to apologize for the night before for kissing him not knowing he was technically there with someone. He told me not to be, since they weren’t actually together and the girl ( her name was Jenny20 years old) was very needy, moving too fast and that she lived in Sacramento and had come up to see him for the night. Also said that he thought it was very cute and that he had liked the kiss.

Now what I need to know is what should I do about this? Should I just let things take their course? Should I forget about it? Am I in the right to be feeling like this? This has never happen between us. He is always telling me about these girls that like him but he doesn’t really want to start anything with them, since his last relationship really hurt him, but then he is looking for Mrs. Right and not Miss right now.

And he does tell this to the girls and they seem to kind of leave the picture, not even wanting to be a friend, yet I know well enough to keep being his friend. You think he is trying to tell me something and I am not taking it in all the way? I don’t really think he is trying to play me because he does look out for me and has not tried anything. I know this is very silly but it is still something on my mind. Any advice would be great. Thanks for making it through all this..