What's some advice for teenage mothers?

I am 18. I really want a baby too. But my husband always reminds me of all the things we wouldn’t be able to do. We are by no means a selfish couple. We are constantly running for others and helping. My friends have twin boys and a little girl. We are always looking after them and I want one too. My husband always says though, “What about us travelling? What about us having a nice date? What about us just picking up and going to a show at the last minute or out with our friends for supper?” And I always think, “Am I ready to give that up?” I’m not. I haven’t travelled enough, experienced what I truly want to. That is me, you are a different person and you may have already experienced all that you want. If that is the case, go for it!

But don’t assume that you can do lots of those things once you have a baby. We’ve looked after our friends kids and tried to do the things we are used to doing. It doesn’t work. It is a different life. You can still travel, it is just a lot harder. You can still go out, but it is a lot harder, sometimes impossible. That’s just my opinion. Have FUN!!!

Look if your going to have a baby then go ahead but its not all peaches and cream with childern I had my first at 15 not by choice though and my second at 17 and know pregnant with twins due june 19. I am tell you there been times where I didnt think I would make it. When I had my first I was kicked out my house had to get a job attend school and go to doctors apoitments its not the easiest thing and for about a year I did it all by myself intill I meet my wonderful boyfriend Ed as I was leaving my sons doctors apt. but its a blessing to me I love my kids with all my heart. The thing that helped me the most was one proving my mom wrong more then showing her that my dad wouldnt be mad because I was pregnant at a young age, 2nd I had a plan before I went to her and told her I was pregnant I went out and got a job, looked into apartment prices and if I would be able to afford them with having to go to school and work. next I made sure I would be able to provide for the child becuase I didnt want to live o welfare and wic. even though I was on wic because my doctor keep advising me to get on it. Then I went and found out if the job I had did any type of health insurance they did when you got to be a manager well I knew I was going straight for the manger so I found out about getting health insurance with the state. I gave up everything to just have a studio apartment it wasnt easy though. I couldnt be a normal teenager it was tough I gave up everything in my life to raise my son good. His father wasnt there for me either he dont know his son even exist and that wasnt by my choice its better not to go into details but I only had a bed for me and slowly I bought stuff for my baby way before it was due like dippaers mostly and I was luckly enough to get involed with parenting classes that gave me a crib and a car seat. have a plan and stick to its not the easiest road to take but if its what you choice to do then I wish you they best of luck

Kate proud mommy of 2 boys expecting 2 more

My Partner’s brother is about to become a dad any day now. He and his girlfriend are both 16. Neither have finished school, neither have any means of independently supporting themselves or a child. They have to stick their hands out Mum and Dad for everything. So far, I don’t think they’ve had to pay for much. I’m of the mind that if you think you’re mature enough to have a child, you have to be independent enough to provide for it on your own. That means not expecting people to even gift you with things. And let me tell you, baby set up stuff doesn’t come cheap. Just the cost of nappies sets you back a whopping amount. Imagine if the child is born with a major health problem- who will pay for the medical bills?

My partner and I have talked about kids, and we both very much so want them. The difference is, we know we need to wait until we are in a position where we can offer a child the stability they need. That includes us taking the time to do all the things we want to do (meals out, traveling Europe, buying treats for ourselves), and feeling like we’ve had fun with it being just the two of us. It’s essential for you to take the time you have now and run with it, because once a child comes along, you have to put most of the things you want to do on the backburner for about 20 years while you raise the child. As much as I know I would love my kids no matter what, I have a feeling I’d probably resent having give up much of my youth raising them, when I would rather have been clubbing, gaming, making friends, going to parties etc.

As for wanting the unconditional love from a baby… I think it’s a bit dangerous if that’s your motivation. Xiigxag is right in advising you to get a dog. I personally prefer cats- they’re much less maintenance than a dog, and they generally stay a pretty small size, so they’re easy to pick up and cuddle. My cat has been my little baby since day one, and I wouldn’t trade her for anything. She never asks for money, is always up for a game, and I never have to worry about her with boy cats (She’s been desexed and had FIV vaccinations). Best of all, she grew bigger, but she never grew up. She loves me like a mum, and never resents me for going out shopping or clubbing. The best of both worlds with this option!

Clearly you have thought this through pretty thoroughly. Nothing fully prepares you for a child though, no matter what your age or situation. In my opinion, you should never intentionally bring a child into the world though if you’re not 100% sure it’s what you want- the fact that you’re asking others what you should do shows you have a few doubts. I’d wait until you’re definitely sure.

I’ll just give you some advice from someone who’s had a baby at the age of 17. My son was born 22 days after my 17th b-day. That was 18 years ago. It’s not easy and want alone will not carry you through the hard times. Having a child does a lot to the body and mind. I’ve had 5 children total. And with each one it was different. The mental strain is very hard at times. I think maybe you should babysit or become a live in Nanny for a while to really get the feel of what it would be like. Also, you must first find out who you are and set some goals in life and work toward those goals.

I think you should go for it girl, I’m home schooled Also, And was a big party Girl, My boyfriend is Also 19, AND I’m pregnant, I just told my Mom Today, it was horrible, because I no how dissapointed she is, And she TOLD me she didn’t want me moving out, My boyfriend Is a welder and can support us a house and a baby, I’m Excited but heard stories of girls dieing in birth, Thats all I’m scared of, F^^ck all these fat girls telling you that you need to be living and supporting your self to have a Kid!, People will judge, and talk sh(I)t, there nothing, a baby is Gods Gift, Sure Its my mistake I had unprotected Sex, And Sure I got Pregnant, the daddy is still here, My mom is upset but is still supporting me, I can move out, but she doesn’t want me to and all the people talking sh(I)t about well your mom will be paying for everything, ok I find out the Sex of my baby next Monday, I got on Wic, And Mc+ that pays for everything!! wic even offers Me food, Although I don’t need it because my parents Pay for that, you can also get Food stamps Although I didn’t sign up for that,! there is an alternative to everything, Don’t take the sh(I)t people talk to heart,

When you should have children:

• when you wanted a child at a young age but were mature enough to realize that you should wait till your older- wiser- financially able- and independent enough to do so.

When you shouldnt have children- -When you are still in your teen years, and all of the sudden in a rush to have a child.

I find it amusing how girls want children so bad in their teen years to fill this void of being loved.. or wanting to love someone.. I guarentee that these girls had some father or mother figure missing in their life-physically or mentally, and have a need to love a child…

I am 20- I love children… I teach children as a living.. I want 5 kids.. But me and my fiance know that the best time to have children will be a few years after we are married.. We will both have graduated college.. and be financially stable.. Isnt that only fair to the children? To try to give them the best stable environment possible? Where they are loved, and taken care of.. with parents who are knowledgable of life and the outside world.. because they have experienced it, lived it, and have been educated…

I’m not going to tell you that you shouldn’t do it, or that you should. Because that’s wrong. Let me tell you about my life as a mother. I don’t really care how people think of me, but let me tell you. When I was 19 I was going out every night and parting with so called friends. I guess they thought it was a joke because one night I hung out with them,they put the date rape drug in my drink. Well the next morning I woke up and had my pants down. I was like I don’t remember anything. Nobody was at the house that morning. Well I found out that I got pregnant. It tore me up so bad, because I was ready, I couldn’t handle a child. I didn’t finish highschool not because I was pregnant, I had other reasons. Well, I got with a long term friend and he told me he wanted a baby, and wanted to marry me. So now we’re married, I had my son with no problems and I stopped drinking and I got my G.E.D and passed. I don’t do as much as I use to, actually I don’t do anything. So don’t let NOBODY say you can’t do anything, but it is hard, you need people to support you and stay by you, make sure the guy will stay for sure. and if he doesn’t make sure you can make it without him and be one of those mothers who are strong enough to do it on your own. Good luck girl!

hey dont u want to enjoy being a young adult. dont u want to enjoy it when u turn 21. dont u want to move out and be with urboy friend just the two of u. well u cant do any of that with a baby. im sure u are mature enough to handle it. but the question is why. I dont know what is wrong with u young girls out here today but babies arent purses. just because u see all the other girls with one now u want one. look u have no need for baby right now. hell your still in school. dont try to put some of the burden on your parents cause even though im sure they will help u out they shouldnt have to its not there responsibility. its urs and if u dont even have a HS diploma I doubt u can afford to take care of a baby. its cool to want kids. but its not cool to treat them like new shoes. u have to make sure that your life is in order first. and urs is not hince the reason why u still live at home and are still in school u are still getting prepared for your own life so how dare u try to bring another one in. just be patient. if u and your also young boyfriend are so in love then he will still be there when u graduate and become a responsible adult u can take care of there own baby.

It’s hard. You really need to think about it before you act upon it. I’m 18 now. But, when I was 17 I became pregnant. I now have a beautiful 6 month old daughter, that I wouldn’t trade for the world. But, don’t you want to go to the club & party? My friends are always going places that I wish I could go to. But, I have to stay at home and take care of my child. It’s a lot of responsibility and money. I got lucky. I live on my own and am in college right now.. living good. But, it is a lot of hard work. But, if that’s what you want.. follow your heart and good luck.

you should really think about this because what if your parents don’t support you ? what if the father is never there for you ? you should really reconsider this , finish school , get married , have a job , get a house , have a baby , but if you think the father will be around for you , and if your parents will be there for you , then have your baby

hey, im not one of those people who say you should get married before kids because sometimes marriage doesnt work and my parents had me young and didnt get married til I was 8. im nearly 16 and were all fine and a happy family. if your ready and your family are going to be there and support you then go for it but remember dont rely on your parents for everything.they can only do so much after all it would be your child. so many women cant have children, so give this baby the best start to life.

good luck.

im always here if you want to talk.

xxx

I’d wait I have a 1 yr old and it was hard but I’m preg again so who am I tell you lol if you think you can handle it go for it I’d make a list of the pros an cons of waiting or getting pregnant now think about it talk to your parents and your significant other research pregnancy read books about bein a mom see if nows the time

dont listen to all those people who are telling you not to go for it .. when people say get out and see the world and stuff like that it is stupid because not everyone wants to do that . I think you should have a baby (Y) . some people just want there life to be simple have a baby . have another baby and live a happy life . hope everythign works out (Y) :) . x shwow

well gd luck 2 ya bbe think if you do have a baby it wld have a good up bringing… you seem like a very responsible girl so im gna wish you all the best and say go 4 it gd luck XxXx

If you want a baby make sure you are with a guy who will be there for you!! Never decide without telling him!!! Make sure you have a job to take care of your baby!! Sooner or later you won’t be able to count on anyoone!! All im saying don’t give up your baby if you get frustrated!!

hey um I think you should get married first.

if you two are willing to have a baby create a new human life form you should be able to get married to

and start a nice family

Who is going to support you and the baby? Have a life first as once you have a baby there will be no going out all night getting drunk etc etc… Although it is possible it is a lot harder Wait until you have seen a bit of life, and the world… I was 24 when I had my first and had some fab girly holidays first

I really want a baby. My boyfriends 19, and he’s still thinking about it. If he doesn’t want to have one yet, I’m fine with it. I’d love to have a baby.. I would have someone to love, and to love me back.. No questions asked.

It may be a plan, but not one I’m willing to go through with. Yea, having a baby when I’m married would be a better idea, but then I’d have a husband, and a baby to worry about. Haha.

here is my advice. stick with it. I’m 13 and have twins and I love them sooo much. you don’t have to be an adult to love your childre. I had my girls because I was raped. I wouldn’t have kid right now if I hadn’t been raped but since I do I love the sooo much. now that they are here I wouldn’t change anything for the world. but before you have s*x just know how hard it id to care for a baby. but know that I’m not telling you not to have a baby. good luck and God Bless

Hmmm.. okay maybe you should go for it then BUT… yeh you think the father will stay around but I’m not saying he wont just saying when the baby is born it feels like all the mothers have to take care of the baby and the guy doesnt want to do anything but then again I guess all fathers are different.. Yeh as you know your going to be really tied down and stuff.. I’m a young mother myself I’m not regreting having a baby cause I love her to death BUt I just wished I would have waited to I was alittle older… cause being soo young you dont want to be tied down but if you want to go for it.

I understand how you feel completely I’m 18 and I have moved in with my fiance and we really want a baby both of us I hope we get pregnant soon but anyway back to you I think that if both you and your partner are willing to take over the responsabilities and continue your lives together then you should do it just remember that the oppurtunities you give up for your baby are part of that responsability and try not to relie on your parents all the time I’m sure they will help out as much as they can but it will go along way with them and everyone else if you do as much as you can on your own I hope I was helpful and good luck with everything.

Understand those are normal feelings. Sometimes they come early in life, and sometimes later. Make sure you use your head and not follow emotions. Emotions can’t be trusted.

Get an education. Find a good man who will not have sex with you until you are married. And that’s a good start!

Any man who will jump in the sack with you before putting a ring on your finger is NOT husband material. Trust me!

my some is 2 1/2 I love him with all my heart but if your not pregnant you shouldn’t go looking for it untill you are settled finished school,have a job, a place to live, and if u can a car u dont want to.it not fun bringing a baby on the bus in a blizard when u have no choice but to get somewhere. you dont get to go out and party unless your right because even if your simpily going to the movies it will costs.

lex icon says it well. Good Luck Brittany!

I think you should go for it. The problem with posting it on here is that you are going to have all kinds of people telling you that you are too young and blah blah blah. Thats just how people on here are. I have made several posts about pregnancy and people just like slap you in the face by saying your arent ready and all this stuff. Honestly… If you feel like you are ready and mature enough and also that the baby would be in a safe environment, then you should go for it. Nobody on here is going to know everyting about you and all that so its 100% you, only you know if you are ready. Good luck!

you sound like you’ll be a great mum all you gottta do is stay strong,good luck x

I say, go for it(: im having thoughts about doing so myself.

Don’t listen to these people saying you should wait. If your heart is telling you to have a baby, listen to it. You seem like you have everything planned out.

And like ambur09 said, if you ever needed to you could get food stamps or sign up for Wic.

Just be sure you really want a baby first. Because you don’t want to have a baby and regret it later.

children are a blessing, but your entire life will change when you have one. If you can’t afford to support a child on your own, you shouldn’t have one. Tragedies happen everyday, supposing something were to happen to your parents…who’s going to buy everything for you then?

Kid, seriously. Try to be independent of your parents first, THEN be a mother your baby could be dependent on. Are you seriously that shameless that you’d expect your parents to pay for something that YOU want? Getting a little too old for that, aren’t we?

If you want a baby just to have someone to love who will love you back, just get a puppy. Fewer responsibilities, lower maintenance, and INBD if you get tired of it and want back your social life.

Here’s a plan: ring, date, marriage, baby.

I stole it from amblessed.

I thank you should go for it.. im the same way and I dont care what others say.. so have fun..let me know how it works out..

just stay postive work and focues on your child and stay up f**ck da haters.

if its really what you want go for it..follow what your heart tells you

babies arent purses

QFT.