How to find someone to love me?

Thanks for the kind responses so far,but I must admit I have exuasted the hobby/activity alternative,I was a child prodigy musician playing since I was 4,I still play but everyday that passes my interest life and everything in it has become very gloomy and dark,A living hell if you will,I have many good friends but there all guys and they all have girlfriends or are married,I think they enjoy hanging out with me because I revive and remind them of a carefree single life because we always end up doing things that we did when they were single,it takes every ounce of my strength to hold back the pain and try to not let it show,I have tried to socialize with women but alas they avoid me like the plague,I always thought there’s no way I’m that ugly or uninteresting,but time is the antagonist and not the healer in my case,I am really starting to scare myself because there was a time when I thought people that ended they’re own life were just either starved for attention or self centered and vengful or just plain crazy,but now when the thought of ending one’s own life comes to mind I get an intense feeling of relief knowing that I would never again have to live another day like this,or any day for that matter,there’s certainly somthing wrong with me but I’m not crazy,I feel like cain with a mark and a curse opun his existence.