I feel like I'm bugging friends.

Not to my knowlege, I’m pretty sure I’m not. I really don’t talk all that much actually, but I’m not like anti-social or anything. I don’t preach, but I’m probably pretty lame, but I don’t think thats it, I just don’t know. I’m probably just thinking too much, but oh well, I guess I’ll get over it.

I go throw lotsa stages where I think I’m annoying everyone,and I sort of start drifting apart frum my frends…its prvly just a phase. Maybee like the other person sed you cud just find somethings to do on your own. That could help. I usually just hang by myself,but I’m weird like that.

well just stay where you are and if they want you to go away they will just tell because I would

I hate to pathologize… but whenever I go through my depressive episodes I start to think I’m annoying everyone and everyone hates me (and then I worry about talking too much, and then I stop talking, so people dont really talk to me, then I know that I must be a horrible person and the cycle continues…) It’s called ruminating, part of depression… you’re overthinking… why would they be your friends in the first place if you were annoying? I highly doubt you’ve suddenly had a personality overhaul… And if they’re you’re friends, they’ll tell you you’re being annoying… dont worry so much about them… about the depression thing, well it is up to you if you want to talk to someone about it? before it gets worse? do you have a school counselor

I don’t have friends that I conversate with. It seems that whenever I start to make a friend, my fiance and I get into a fight the moment they ask me to go out and do things with them. I haven’t had a friends night in years. I rarely have any dialog with anyone apart from my children and about once a month with my mother. It sucks.

Well, the thing is, I’m a naturally quiet person, I just usually don’t find the need to be loud or talk too much, but I talk a lot more when I’m around my friends, but not like too much. I wouldn’t really say I’m depressed per se, but I have been kinda sad lately only due to my girlfriend breaking up with me and telling me that she’ll never be able to go out with me again. She told me the reason that is, and I suppose I understand, but I’m still sad about it. About you saying how you would feel that you’re a horrible person, I have thought that lately, but that’s because I have been only trying to be nice and all to my ex-girlfriend and do things to make her happy, but they all backfired completely and she ended up getting pissed at me multiple times. She’s also good at putting me through guilt trips even though I know that I was only trying to do something nice. Well, I at least hope I’m not depressed, that would suck, and usually I’m the one people go to when they’re sad about something, because I’m a good listener and can give good advice, so it’d be kinda ironic if I was depressed.

Lately, I just haven’t known what to do with myself, I’m in band and marching season ended 2 weeks ago, so my schedule is a lot more open since there’s no practice, but I just don’t know what to go do. I know I need to go do something, and I want to like go out and go on a bike ride, but I don’t for some reason that I don’t know. I just sit on the computer hoping something interesting happens.

Sorry for that whole long rant.

Stop apologizing… it’s an advice site, you’re allowed to talk about your problems, if people dont like it they can go somewhere else…

and people go through well not depression as such, but they naturally have some depressive symptoms when they suffer a loss… (breaking up, someone dying, losing a job etc). It affects self worth and confidence, and mood etc… perfectly normal… but try not to overthink it… your girlfriend is probably feeling guilty with you acting all nice, and no one likes to feel guilty, so they then get pissed off… not your fault or your problem… you might want to give her some space though, and just go do things with your friends, whatever you do dont start isolating yourself, you need your friends right now… and remember people break up… a lot… it doesnt indicate anything about you… at all…

Yea, I say sorry too much, I know, I just can’t really help it.

Yea, for me, the past about 3 or 4 years as a whole basically sucked, between losing my mother to cancer of some sort that I don’t know for sure, my dad getting remarried 2 months after, them never really getting along, and getting a divorce a year later, and now girlfriend problems. So that might have something to do with it, hehe. I also know that the whole girlfriend situation isn’t my fault, she said the reason she won’t be able to go back out with me is because her family basically consists of a mom that has been almost ignoring her lately and that’s it, and when she has a boyfriend, she really just wants to belong to a family and I can’t provide that at all. But with me, I find myself frequently wanting to take the blame for basically anything and everything because I know I’ve been through worse, so I can handle it perfectly fine, and I don’t want any of my friends to feel hurt or anything like that, I’d much rather have me be hurt emotionally than any of them. Yea, I could definitely give my ex-girlfriend more space though, we’ve decided that we could stay friends, but really, I haven’t exactly known her as more than a gifrlend since I met her at a friend’s birthday party, we talked online a lot for 2 weeks, then when we finally hung out for the first time, I asked her out. So I don’t really have her friendship to go back to, so I have to form that, but I should probably just chill out for a little. It’s not so much being by myself that bothers me, it’s just not doing anything at all. I’m fine by myself and I know I’m not going to make any stupid choices out of sadness like cutting myself or overdosing on something, that just doesn’t make sense to me for the need to do that, and I know that my life has got a lot more potential and things will blow over quickly. I’ll just keep praying about things and see where God takes me, because sometimes it seems that that’s really the only thing that I know for sure I can trust in.

Of course you can, practice… repeat after me… I will not apologize for being alive and for participating in normal activities (now repeat 50 times a day till you stop ;))

I’m sorry about your mother. I cant even imagine how difficult everything must be right now.

Well if you’re with other people then you’ll most likely be doing stuff… And it’s generally good for most people to have that social support and distraction… Isolating yourself can get very depressing… And listen, they’re your friends. I know you feel like you can deal with everything on your own and you dont want to burden them, but 1. you deserve friends who you can share your problems with and 2. they deserve a friend who is willing to reciprocate… when someone tells us something, yes it is kind of an additional load we have to take on, but it is also hugely satisfying to know that someone trusts us and we might be able to help them, even if it is just by being there… a good friendship goes two ways, and you shouldnt deny them the oppurtunity to be a good friend.

I am glad your spirituality gives you comfort. I wish I could offer additional words of comfort pertaining to that, but I am clueless when it comes to that subject.

I hope things go better for you, feel free to come on here and let us know if anything’s ever bothering you… (no apologies, it’s what we’re here for!)

Haha, actually, I don’t think I’ve said “sorry” since you responded, unless it was really something I should be sorry for. But the reason I usually say sorry so much is because I hate it when people are mad or sad because of me, so I usually do whatever I can to prevent that, and usually that involves an apology.

Nah, don’t be sorry, I’d much rather have her in Heaven and pain free and happy than on this dreadful earth and in pain. That’s what’s given me the most comfort, just knowing that fact.

Yea, that’s true, I’m usually rather open about my feelings and problems, but lately, I really have had no idea what’s going on, and usually when I try to explain something like this before actually knowing what’s going on, I’ll say the wrong thing and give people the wrong thoughts about the person that is causing my sadness. So really, I don’t think I’ve had much choice except to bottle it up and wait it out. I do take refuge in my friends often though, but sometimes, I’ll actually say too much, which sometimes doesnt end very well. Also, I haven’t had to worry about being isolated or anything this weekend, because on Friday, I went bowling with friends and then to the mall and that took up the whole evening, then yesterday, I went bowling in the morning like I usually do, then went to the mall with my brother and my dad, then went bowling again like I usually do, then after that, I went to my ex-step-sister’s birthday party, so I was out from 9:30 AM to 11:15 PM, so that was good .

That’s too bad, I know that my faith has brought a lot of happiness to me, and I have witnessed first-hand where my friend was going through a very rough time in her life and I prayed for her every night, and eventually she got a lot better… actually, I just realized that that’s happened twice with the same friend, once last year, and again this year. She was in a bad situation with a boyfriend that was using her, but she didn’t want to get out of it, but I knew it wasn’t healthy for her, so I prayed that somehow she would get out of that relationship. Then, to my pleasure…kinda…somehow a rumor got out about her sleeping with another guy while going out with the guy that was using her, he heard it, and broke up with her. So I’ve seen that happen twice with her, and she is a lot better now. (and just in case you’re wondering, no, I didn’t start that rumor, I don’t go to the same school as her, and I’ve actually never met her, but we’ve been talking online for about 2 years, so I still care about her.) So someday, I hope you’ll be able to find the same comfort in some sort of spirituality. I would say become a Christian if anything, but I’m not able to tell you to believe something, but I believe that Christianity is the way to go.

Thanks a lot, I will do my best to help the situation and not hinder it, and I will be sure to come on here if anything is bothering me that might be something I don’t think I’d be able to tell my friends or that I don’t think they’d be able to really help with. I’ll also do my best to have no apologies =)