How to convince my friend to accept homosexuals

I know that homo… is just a choice and not the way people are. I know that because I was one and Jesus Christ has changed me.

So then you of all people should understand how it feels to be judged and therefore you should accept it.

ps…I laughed when I read this far fetched statement.

Being gay is a sin, I don’t want to offend you, even though I probably did. But look at it this way: if I lie, it is just as bad as being gay, if someone is gay, their sin is no worse than being racist.(I know they have nothing to do with each other) I do believe that if I don’t accept gays, I am sinning. Even if I think they are sinning, I must accept them as normal people, because they are normal.

“Oh yes? And tell me tseirpeht, which science journal did you pinch that from?”

He gets it from some bogus study done in the 80s and early 90s during the height of the aids epidemic. It was not even accurate then, and is totally outdated now.

This is coming from someone who constantly shoves bible verses down our throats…

Uhhh… you mean VERSE, not verses… as in only ONE.

this is basically true how you are feeling. being homosexual is not a problem. it doesnt hurt or kill anybody. and if god made some people that way then she should believe that that is how it was sposed to be… I think. now im kinda confused. but I hope you get my point

Homo.. is a sin according to the Bible. So it would not be right for you to try to convince her to accept gay people.

Ugh… you always act as if homosexuality is a bigger sin than others. Well its not. And yes, she should accept gay people, because even if it IS a sin, its no greater a sin than any SHE’S committed. Hate the sin, not the sinner, remember? By your logic, no one should accept ANYONE, because EVERYONE is a sinner.

So if nobody could change what they feel inside how was I changed. So I would state that it is not the way I am but it is a choice.

How vague… that depends on HOW you claimed to have been ‘changed’ …since you failed to mention it.

whatevere your friend chooses to be or was born as gay, lesbian, bi-sexual, bi-curiouse, transexual, transgender,ect it doesnt make them any less human but if your religious friend cant see that its probably easier to just let her be ignorant because most chrsitains are stubborn and wont accept anyone else or anything else thats not in there book or you could just get new friends

Is purposefully misconstruing a fact the same as lying? because it seems to be right up there with homosexuality as an abomination…

Proverbs 6:16-19 There are six things that the Lord hates, seven that are an abomination to him: haughty eyes, a lying tongue, and hands that shed innocent blood, a heart that devises wicked plans, feet that make haste to run to evil, a false witness who breathes out lies, and one who sows discord among brothers.

I dont think the advice would be any different. All groups, ok most groups and all religious groups demand some sort of conformity. The problem occurs when there is group think. When people stop thinking for themselves. Most religious organizations and all of those to the far right demand group think. Because the minute people start to question things, well things tend to fall apart (especially when you have nothing but faith and a couple of stories holding things together). She’s been brought up to think like that. Her view is filtered through her beliefs about not questioning things. You’d have to fundamentally change the way she approaches everything. I wouldnt advise it. it’s the fastest way to lose a friend.

You can try to convince or argue with her until the cows come home…but it won’t change her mind. Arguing with a fundamentalist christian has the same result as arguing with a member of the KKK. They aren’t going to “get it” and say, wow, no one ever told me that I should not hate. I have many christian friends but none that are narrow minded fundamentalist christian. She is what she is and until she “gets it” which she probably never will, she will stay narrow minded in her views. And trust me her lack of understanding does not stop with just homosexuals. I bet there are others that she judges also.

Someone just isn’t racist against blacks…they also hate jews or asians, or hispanics, etc…

Just as she isn’t just “confused” about homosexuals…there are other things she is just as “confused” about…

tseirpeht you do not pick who you full in love with, be it a man or women.

I am not sure how to convene them. Best thing I can think of to do is to tell them that just because they do not like that part of you does not mean you cant be friends, do not try to force them to like it, try to convene them that they do not need to like it just like you and not try to change your mind and you wont try to change there.

Marbles advice is spot on.

I think it’s worth a read.

“If I tell a lie is it my choice or just who I am? “

It depends. If you were a compulsive liar, you woul dnot be able to help yourself.

“If I love my wife is it my choice or just who I am?”

I don’t know about you, but I could not choose to stop loving my wife. She would have to do something pretty horrible for me to stop loving her. And even then it would not be a choice. I wouldn’t be able to control it.

“It is a choice,”

Answer me honestly. Could you choose to be gay if you wanted to right now?

“nothing will convince us otherwise because everything is a choice.”

Everything? I like coffee, my wife hates it. Could she make a choice to start liking coffee? Of course not. She could pretend to like it, but that is not actually liking it.

“We can practice love or learn hate, it is a matter of choice.”

And? Somethings in life are choices. Somethings are not.

“When you make excuses for it then how will you ever be able to recognize right from wrong?”

Who is making excuses? And right and wrong have constantly changed over time. It used to be considered morally and legally wrong for interracial marriages. Was that ever right?

“Even on the subjects that dont make a lot of sense on the surface, they make sense to G-d.”

That is your fantasy, not everyone elses.

“There is nothing that you can do to convince her otherwise because she will never allow you to take G-ds place and tell her right from wrong. “

According to your bible, homosexuals deserve death at the hand of god. Do you think that is right or wrong?

“You even admitted it: Stop forcing your non-belief religious on her - believing in God’s Word is not brainwashed, it’s Faith of which she obviously is not ashamed - just because your position may be ‘popular’ in today’s word, doesn’t make it automatically correct - pick someone else to shove it on !!”

This is coming from someone who constantly shoves bible verses down our throats…

I grew up in a conservative house thinking homosexuality is disgusting, immoral, wrong, etc. It is what my parents believe and it was my starting point. I didn’t know anyone who was gay; in fact the mere suspicion that a kid was gay at my high school meant they would be constantly harassed and frequently beaten.

When I went off to college I went out of state and didn’t know anyone so I couldn’t choose my roommate. I ended up being assigned to the gay wing of my residence hall. It wasn’t officially the gay wing but it was where most of the gay students chose to live. When I got to know them I discovered they were just people. Some were nice and some were jerks but the weren’t evil. I made lots of good friends there and when I had the opportunity to change wings I didn’t because I had so many friends there.

The thing that has the best chance of changing your friend’s mind is life experiences. My experience was living on the gay wing in college; your friend might one day have a gay coworker, family member, etc. When homosexuality has a human face for your friend it will be harder for her to cling to her prejudices.

Homo.. is a sin according to the Bible. So it would not be right for you to try to convince her to accept gay people. Just tell me this you are convinced that being gay is ok and your friend is convinced that being gay in not ok. Now how do you know who is right among you two? How can you be sure that she is brainwashed and not you?

I know that homo… is just a choice and not the way people are. I know that because I was one and Jesus Christ has changed me.

If it’s a choice then tell me, could you go to therapy and learn to love men? Could you, with enough effort, just accept that it is in fact men that you are sexually attracted to and not women anymore? The answer is no, my good man, because nobody can change what they feel on the inside.

So if nobody could change what they feel inside how was I changed. So I would state that it is not the way I am but it is a choice.

“being homosexual is not a problem.” -Keep in mind the average (average) life span of a homosexual is 40 years old. (women typically live a little bit longer though).

How do you figure? Women living a bit longer than 40 if they are lesbians? I’ve never heard of such a thing. Neither have I heard of gay men dying at 40…maybe in 1987 when AIDS was at its height and it was “pinned” as a gay disease (fact: more African-American women have HIV than any other demographic of the population…what did they do that is so heinous to warrant that? Should we hate black people now?)

Edit: Nevermind, I did the research myself. I see tseirpeht cited a biased study conducted in the 1980s. The study was titled “Modelling the impact of HIV disease on mortality in gay men” (so only studied gay men with HIV…). It only focused on one race of men (guess which?) in ONE city (Vancouver) in the 80s. It has recently been redone with more data. They studied gay men of black, hispanic and white backgrounds throughout the US. So it’s actually comprehensive. Guess what? They had completely different results. Turns out, at the time of the study in 2003, they concluded that gay men with HIV/AIDS have a shortened lifespan of about 2 years. Gasp And it’s because they have a disease, not because they are gay.

HOW do you sleep at night with so much hate in you?

Charts, data etc. are here: http://grantdale.customer.netspace.net.au/Update_of_Hogg_00.html

Warning: Some of you might be frightened by this science and data. Come toward the light, facts are OK…

I have to agree this evangelical rhetoric about it being a choice is ignorant and maybe a bit gay. I’m heterosexual and not by choice. I don’t consider homosexuality an option for me, so I can’t chose it. I didn’t chose straight over gay. Maybe people who think gay people chose their preference feel attracted to the same sex, but chose not to act on it. That would make them gay.

I think a lot of this is coming from fear. People are getting a bit fanatical these days about their religious allegiances as part of the “us vs. them” tendency in scary, uncertain times. The powers that be are exploiting this by amping up the rhetoric, dviding and conquering even among families and friends.

Another point to make to gay-haters: why would someone chose to proclaim themselves something that they can get killed for? When people come out of the closet, they risk losing their friends and families and who knows what else. They risk being ostracized, fired, excommunicated, etc. Why would you chose this unless you couldn’t help it?

Just tell me this you are convinced that being gay is ok and your friend is convinced that being gay in not ok. Now how do you know who is right among you two? How can you be sure that she is brainwashed and not you?

Last I checked, people don’t brainwash others NOT to practice hate. (Maybe in your twisted world they do…but not in the real world)

I know that homo… is just a choice and not the way people are. I know that because I was one and Jesus Christ has changed me.

And you must have other psychological problems way deeper than your supposed “discovery of heterosexuality” because what kind of gay person would willingly accept a religion that says that they will burn in hell?

Say for a small microscopic second that it was possible for you to “change.” I’ll bet you were judged and ridiculed for being gay, and it didn’t feel good did it? All I’m asking is for equal treatment of all people, regardless of sexuality, gender, race, or religion.

All in all, either you’re still gay, (which is totally fine!) or you never were (which is fine too.) But if you think you’ve changed, your church is lying to you, and worst of all, you’re lying to yourself.

, too, personally believe that homosexuality is a choice

Believing it does not make it true. Why exactly would someone CHOOSE to be gay? What benefit do they gain by it? Do you CHOOSE to be heterosexual? Do you honestly believe you could CHOOSE to all of the sudden become homosexual?

Don’t try to convince someone to change their opinions.

Not all that long ago we had people in the south thought that inter-racial marriage was a sin and should be illegal. Should those who believed that just been left to believe what they want without anyone ever challenging it.

Your belief is pure bigotry, and while you may profess to love the sinner, you clearly do not if you are willing to label them sinners. Everyone doesn’t believe what you believe.

Try thinking for yourself, and not listen to religious zealots.

If I tell a lie is it my choice or just who I am?
If I love my wife is it my choice or just who I am? It is a choice, nothing will convince us otherwise because everything is a choice. We can practice love or learn hate, it is a matter of choice. When you make excuses for it then how will you ever be able to recognize right from wrong? Even on the subjects that dont make a lot of sense on the surface, they make sense to G-d. There is nothing that you can do to convince her otherwise because she will never allow you to take G-ds place and tell her right from wrong.

If it’s a choice then tell me, could you go to therapy and learn to love men? Could you, with enough effort, just accept that it is in fact men that you are sexually attracted to and not women anymore? The answer is no, my good man, because nobody can change what they feel on the inside. Granted, it is definitely a choice to ACT upon homosexual and heterosexual feelings, but in no way, shape, and form could you change the way you feel about your wife. Sure, you chose to love your wife, among all the women in the world, but you didn’t choose to love women, just as I, or any straight male chooses to love women. We just do, just as homosexuals just happen to love their same sex. We’re all people here, (some of the most inspirational people in history were gay) and they deserve just as much rights as anyone else.

You even admitted it: Stop forcing your non-belief religious on her - believing in God’s Word is not brainwashed, it’s Faith of which she obviously is not ashamed - just because your position may be ‘popular’ in today’s word, doesn’t make it automatically correct - pick someone else to shove it on !!

The terms ‘pot’ and ‘kettle’ come to mind here.

Keep in mind the average (average) life span of a homosexual is 40 years old.

Oh yes? And tell me tseirpeht, which science journal did you pinch that from? Or is it from your copy of ‘Religious Propaganda Weekly’? Or more likely, are your bowels twisted with your vocals, causing you to talk excrement?

if god is real and god gave us free will, if it is a choice or who you are it doesnt actually matter, then god gave us the power to CHOOSE what we like, how ever you see it, it has to be right on some levels, homosexuals are just people like you and me, just like an african man is just like you and me,

we are all human, so why the big debate???

its pathetic tbh, get over it! if you gave homosexuals a chance to get to know them, like other people do, you may seem to like them and stop judging them on who they fancy!!!

advocate, dont listen to these people who put homosexuality down like its terrible because it isnt!

I have a Christian friend like that and I am perfectly fine with homosexuals and in my case she tells me that I’m not Christian even though I believe in God and that this is why she thinks Catholics are fake because they apparently don’t listen to their religion(I’m Catholic). Anyway my other friend is gay and she always makes him feel uncomfortable I hate trying to tell her what to believe so at first I would never talk to her about it, but eventually I had to ask her to treat my friend better, but sometimes people have strict believes and will not change them which admire if they treat people well. You can’t always change someone no matter how hard you try.

Hi. I just wanted to say that I too am very relgious but I do not hate gays or lesbeians true bible readers and people who are close to god do not hate people. I do not accept homosexuals like for me to say god dosent care. But I do not hate them either saying you desever to die!! No way. Everyone will have their day with god everyone will pay their dues so just don’t worry about it! :)

I think most of you are right that I won’t be able to convince her. I suppose I worded it all wrong. I don’t actually want to convince her to accept gay people, more like just to actually think for herself on how she views gays instead of just following what the church says. If everyone could rid themselves of everything they’ve been “taught” about gays, and still end up thinking it’s wrong, well then at least they came to the conclusion on their own through thoughtful and intellectual means.

You even admitted it: Stop forcing your non-belief religious on her - believing in God’s Word is not brainwashed, it’s Faith of which she obviously is not ashamed - just because your position may be ‘popular’ in today’s word, doesn’t make it automatically correct - pick someone else to shove it on !!

“being homosexual is not a problem.” -Keep in mind the average (average) life span of a homosexual is 40 years old. (women typically live a little bit longer though).

“Is purposefully misconstruing a fact the same as lying?”

Yes, yes it is… But G-d is okay with liars if they are fundamentalist christians…

your girlfriend right, you wrong. I don’t hate homos btw.

your girlfriend right, you wrong. me not saying homos are bad people

in the bible it also says eating shellfish sends you to hell just like gays.

Tell her that being gay isn’t a choice, people don’t just wake up one morning and say “I think I’m going to be gay today.” Love is love, you can’t chose who you fall in love with.