Will my mum ever accept me?

I have been raised in a very strict religion called Old Apostolic Luthern. I don’t want to believe in it just because of it’s outrageous rules and everything but and I’ve tried stop going to church and tried convincing myself it’s not real but I can’t help but believe in it since that was the way I was raised and taught? And the thing is the reason why everyone stays in our church is over their fear. Because according to my church if you aren’t a member of the Old Apostolic Luthern church then you are going to be damned to hell. Which makes me kind of angry because there is so many people out there that have so much faith in God and they are really good people yet my church claims they’re going to hell. I don’t know I guess am sucked into believing it as well. I am SCARED if I leave I will go to hell so I continue to go to church. Yet somedays I don’t even know what I believe in anymore. And the rules are.. Well I guess we call them sins.

  • no makeup, tatoos, piercings

  • well NOTHING to change you’re appearance (you can’t even cut your hair)

  • no sports

  • no tv or movies

  • no music (and music is everything to me)

  • no dancing

  • no singing

  • no amusement parks or fairs well basically no enterainment

Wait, why am I even listing off the things we cannot do? Like that would honestly fit on one page.

Anyways and OFCOURSE homosexuality is a sin. And the thing is I am gay. I fight agianst it everyday but I just can’t magically CHANGE the way I am. My mum doesn’t know, well I once told her but she tried kicking me out and told me I was a sick person and that she doesn’t want a homosexual living on her property. She made me feel like I was some kind of parasite and I hated how she made me feel more then I hated hiding it. So I lied to her and convinced her that I wasn’t actually gay. Once she was convinced things went back to normal. But I wish she could just be okay with it already. What would you do in this situation?

Answer #1

There’s no such thing as sins only choices. The sooner these religious types learn that the better.

Answer #2

Remember that God doesn’t make mistakes. Love your mum even if she hurts your feelings. She’s just afraid and thinks that the ways of the church are the best ways to keep you safe. It may take a while but chances are very good that if you just let this ride for a while and live a good life and achieve what you would like to achieve for yourself, in school, work whatever… she will come around. She just needs time. Even a parent that is not anti-gay can have a hard time accepting it at first if their child comes out. Just know that she loves you. And God loves you. And don’t let the hurt in your life ruin your life. Stay close to God because he will be your comfort throughout life, not just now. There are churches out there that are very accepting. Some churches will open their arms to you, some Presbyterians, some Episcopal, Unitarian, Unity and New Thought. It may not be easy but there is understanding out there. Don’t lose faith in God, He hasn’t lost faith in you. My cousins are both gay and their mother had a fit about it at first but then eventually, it’s like everything is okay and one cousin’s long time common law “wife” is treated just like anyone else who married into our family. If you go to your school counselor, they might have advice on finding a gay and lesbian group that helps kids come out to their parents.
People want the best for their kids, and to them being gay is not the best so they go into denial. Eventually most come around. Be kind and patient and don’t let ANYthing ruin your life. Best of luck :)

Answer #3

Wait till you are financially and emotionally independent and able to support yourself before you decide to come out to your parents about your religion or your sexuality… In the meanwhile, keep exploring what you believe in and your faith. Give it a little time. You dont have to have all the answers right now. It’s a process that can take some time. As for whether your mother will ever accept you, maybe she will, and maybe she wont. What you do with that is a decision you have to make. Either you can tell her and hope for the best (knowing that if she doesnt accept you, you are going to have to find a way to come to peace with that), or you can not tell her and live out your life pretending to be something that you’re not (which can be a heavy burden, and take a huge toll over time). I wish life were simpler, all mothers would love their kids and accept them no matter what. But life isnt simple. Kids get kicked out of their homes all the time and end up on the streets. Wait till you are able to live on your own, and then decide what sort of path you want to take…

Answer #4

thats kinda stupid…u should get out of that church dont b scared you wont go to hell…I will

Answer #5

This is how I see it god loves all of its children no matter what they look like, what they do, or who they love. All that matter is that you believe in him. I think you should talk to a consoler or someone who was in the same place you where, and see what they went threw and how they told their parents.

Answer #6

thatz bullsht like god would give a sht and send you tah hell if you started singing or dancing thats natural, you shuld leave koz itz either your life is hell or your afterlife is hell and hell wuldnt have enough room 4 every1 whos cut their hair and played sport du wot you want, god is meant to be forgiving and I dont think he has enough time to check out who your pashing and their gender and when god first made humans there was no t.v or movies or sport? so like when did he release thez new rulez?

Answer #7


Many religions have developed ways to hold their flock together. Your parent’s religion has that too. And now you have starting to think for yourself and discovered that your parent’s ways might not be the way that you want to go. Give it time Kaylasue, your parents are just as influenced by their religion as you are and I am sure that they mean well. Just observe what’s going on in their church and perhaps talk to your friends about your doubts. I am sure that they have doubts too.

And about hell; there are many people in the world (and in your country) who find it very very doubtful that hell exists. Most of them would be called atheists (people who do not believe that it is likely that a god of any kind exists). Look around on the Internet and try to learn. But please, always be critical and allow yourself to make up your OWN mind, regardless of what anyone says (and that includes me!).

Answer #8

my mom kicked me out of the house once when I said I was an atheist and no im not scared to go to hell no one should if religion was real you should be dead because the bible says all woman who sleep with woman and all men who sleep with men shall die instantly or go to hell its stupid just dont worry dont go to church anymore and so what if your gay a lot of people are and nothing bad happens to them

Answer #9

Ohhh thats harsh

Well, I think that it is up to each person individually to believe what they want to believe, so in my view, you can still believe in God, but you don’t have to believe everything about your religion, that is your individual decision.

A lot of religions use heaven and hell as a kind of blackmail, to scare people into believing the religion. A long time ago, it was used to comfort people, to know that they were going to heaven after a life of hard-work, but now I think it is used as more of a threat.

So, in my opinion, you can still believe in God, but not consider your list of sins as sins. Are your parents strictly religious, if they are and you don’t feel comfortable talking with them, you can talk to neighbours, other family, friends, the priest, school teachers, or anyone else you feel comfortable with.

Best of luck!

Answer #10

ok first get out of that church when you get older, and don’t listen to your mom, homosexual is a sin, but then again just about everything else is too.(I mean really, even lying is a sin and I lie about 5 times a day(most likely more))

Answer #11

Hopefully, this post will be seen as a positive statement of honest opinion, as it is intended. It is not intended to be hostile in any way, but I just can’t figure out how to say this other than directly.

You are in a cult. You have been brainwashed. Sadly, the techniques they use are highly effective and few people escape. IMHO, this type of activity should be criminal, but it isn’t. So, it’s up to you to pull yourself out of the abyss they call faith, which is really nothing more than a control mechanism to keep you from exploring your doubts. Of course they want you to believe you’ll go to hell if you betray them…that’s part of the brainwashing. They’ve also rigged it so you can not escape without risking losing the love of your family. …again, this is crime against humanity, but sadly, not illegal…

Think rationally. If there is a god, why would that god be so enamored with just the Old Apostolic Luthern? That makes no sense at all. Why did he create everyone else just to send them off to hell for not being lucky enough to be your specifiuc sect? I’ve never even heard of this group until just now, as I’m sure 99.999% of the rest of the human race has never even heard of them. Does that sound like the action of a just and loving god, or does it sound like what a criminal wearing a dress on the pulpit would say to grow his church and keep people in fear.

If you finally see that you are actually a victim of child abuse (though probably not intentional on the part of your family), don’t take it lying down. Let your voice be heard and try to rescue as many of your loved ones as you can form this dangerous mind control organization.

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