How does this personification sounds?

Please be honest if I need to make corrections.

Memories of a Cell Phone

I’m never alone but I also don’t have a home,
Everybody owns me, many says I’m extremely attractive,
I come in all different shapes and colors;
Being on magazines and televisions is my life,
So yes, I’m very popular.

Every year my looks and features are improved,
I give some people Google but they are some who just can’t afford me.
When I’m out of credit, I borrow credit.
When my battery life weakens,
I always scream when I need to be charge.
To be honest with you, I’m proud to say I end relationships.

My hobbies are: attending church, parties, traveling and going to school,
I’m also good on spreading gossips but my favorite is singing,
I love to ring and when I ring too much,
I annoy everyone but when I’m silent they wonder why.
However, I do fear water because it can kill me.

I don’t give good service when I’m on the highways
Yet I’m everybody’s best friend,
I can easily be repaired or replaced,
Although I get abandon sometimes,
I still make them happy for who I am.

When I’m alone I always get stolen by strangers,
They sometimes sell me cheap.
If you want me and have the cash then go check my latest styles;
I can make you look famous and important.
Yes, the life of a cell phone is always exciting.

3 answers

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ANSWER #1 of 3

thats really good, except on the second line it should just be say not says. but apart frm that you don't need to correct anything, its amazing :)


ANSWER #2 of 3

It needs a bit of work. : /



ANSWER #3 of 3

However, I do fear water because it can kill me.

I dont like that line


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