How do you tell your parents you are moving out?

I am an 17 year old who will be 18 in two months. I still have a year left of high school. My home life is unsatisfactory and I am aware that part of it is my fault. I have lost complete trust in my parents because of my grades and skipping class that was just a bad decision on my part. The problem is no matter how much I try to show my parents that I have learned from my mistake they never seem to care.

My mother has severe anxiety and so does my little brother who also has autism. My mother has a controlling overbearing personality that constantily butts with my personality, we never go one day without fighting. She has told me for a while that if I don’t like things the way they are that I can just move out when I turn 18, but what she says and what she means are two different things, I am almost positive that is she is going to have a fit when I tell her I don’t want to live at home anymore.

The reasons why I want to move out are that I have restrictions on how many hours I can work, I also have to quit my job after the summer is over because they don’t think I can handle my job and school work. I am constantily brought down and then brought up, I get yelled at and told that I am a disappointment and then later in the day told that I am not and that I am a great kid. I know my relationship with my parents will be better when I move out, I plan on keeping my job, moving in with two friends into an apartment and then finishing high school and going to college, with or without their help.

My question is, how can I tell my parents without them getting upset, I don’t want to tell them now, but I don’t want to wait until the night I leave either. I don’t want them to have a grudge against me or be angry at me, I want them to understand that this is my decision and that I just need support. Should I write them a letter, sit them down, tell only one parent or tell them both? I am very, very confused and any help on his matter will be greatly appreciated!

Answer #1

There’s no way you can avoid upsetting your parents by letting them know you’re moving out. At least I don’t think a loving parent would show a teethly grin and hold a party to celebrate their loss. Hm. Well, for a mature approach.. you can tell them you want to have a serious conversation. When they comply, have them both sit down in front of you and (plan it out carefully so there wouldnt be any interruptions to break the mood) set the mood with small talk (or get straight to the point, pending on what kind of parents you have). Tell them how you feel about things and your plans..and such.

Agh. Whatever you do, distance yourself from letters and phone calls. Face to face can leave your parents with a good impression :)

Answer #2

TELL THEM YOU ARE AN ADULT AND YOU ARE MOVING OUT OF COURSE THEY ARE GOING TO GET MAD BUT IN LEGAL EYES YOU ARE OF THE AGE THEREFOR THEY CANNOT HOLD YOU

Answer #3

Parents aren’t perfect either - when you get there, you won’t be either - it appears to me, they love you and are trying to look after your best interests, although admittedly awkward - you’re lucky, many, many don’t have this - you will always need Family, as they need you - sit down with them, stay calm, and have an adult discussion..I wish you the best !!

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