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What do you think? I'm not really sure if I like it, I don't think it flows very well. But I would love some constructive criticism. Thanks!
I need you friends, To be there for me, No matter who I am, Or what I believe.
And when I feel my family, Isn’t here anymore, They’ve turned their backs, Their love is forced.
I need you here, To tell me the truth, To let me cry, And make me laugh when I’m through.
So help me walk, Through all of the rain, Be my umbrella, And cover my pain.
When I am with you, I’m not afraid to know, That I can do anything,
your poem is good but it doesnt have rhyme. A rhyme are the last 2-3 letters at the end of the word of a sentence which will need to be the same like is you say you re re you you or re re re these are the last 2 or 3 letters that will make any poem nice to listen to it.
Oh it cut off! not the entire thing posted, here is the whole one,
I need you friends, To be there for me, No matter who I am, Or what I believe.
And when I feel my family, Isn’t here anymore, They’ve turned their backs, Their love is forced.
I need you here, To tell me the truth, To let me cry, And make me laugh when I’m through.
So help me walk, Through all of the rain, Be my umbrella, And cover my pain.
When I am with you, I’m not afraid to know, That I can do anything, And I will find my rainbow.
Okay one and fourth verise flow right but the second one they've turn their backs, their love is forced is alittle ruff it would sound better if you added in cause. "they've turned their backs, cause their love is forced." and the last sentance of the third is alittle ruff when I'm through. means? and the ver last sentace doesn't seem to fit
BUT
I thought it was a lovley poem very nice job.
its really good. I like it, might want to make it flow a little better, I always like rhyming poems, but thats just me. I think rhyming makes a poem flow better. & also pick a beat for it. [not like a song], like a steady beat. like blah blah blah blah blah pause...blah blah blah blah blah pause... and yeah. if you need more information fun mail me, I've had tons of my things published.
I like this a lot! "be my umbrella, cover my pain" that's beautiful.
I like the swing it has when you read it...nice job! :)
andyzro, not all poems need to rhyme you're poem is great yo
... it doesn't need to rhyme to be poetry.it was great!
