How do these lyrics sound?

I Finish A Chapter in this Book Its Title (Pregent Female Dog) and The Beast Subitble For The Events Taken Place This Beast Has Broken His Chains

I Will Grip Your Throat And not Let Go Until Your Blue This was Not Meant To be Wrote You Always Did Love So Few

And I Finally Don’t Care if Im Not Included Your Not Worth Bringing Myself Down I Am Stronger Then My Past Shows Me To Be I Will Not Continue Self-Destruction

The Noose Around Your Throat You’ve Never Looked Any Better You Better Hope You’re Float I’ll Write Your Family A Letter

As The Clock’s Hands Reach Midnight I’ll Dump Your Body In the Abyss of Night Never To Be Found In This State Like A Glint of Humanity in My Heart

It Was Sucked Clean By You Then You Leave Them To Ponder Loss For Its All You know To Do You’ve Picked The Wrong Man To Cross

I’ll Pluck your Skin From the Bone Your Eye’s That Has Seen So Much Pain Will Be Gouged Will My Bare Thumbs The Strands of Hair Picked Out One At A Time

As You Cry And Ask Why (Pregent Female Dog) This is Your Part To Play I Let Out a Long Held Sigh I Said I’d Make You Pay

Thank You For Showing Me What I Want And Need Neither of Which Include Your Involvement How Many Angels Actually Mourn Your Death? Your Breathen await Your Failed Return

Now I Know Who Was Always My Friends You Was The One Of Which Always Fooled Me People Actually Worth the Time To Defend Why Was Your Fate So Hard To See?

So I Never Said Goodbye To Your Corpse Why Would I Waste The Breath? I Left a Knife In to mark My Kill The World Is Filled With Reverse Actions

Answer #1

Sorry for being so rude, I sounded like an asshole, I ‘ve just been in a bad mood

With writing you need to come up with a melody for all the lyrics to flow on for instance if I just write something random…

Everything drifts away, Colors all fade to grey Misery rears it head, All happiness has fled

Taking in all the pain, Drowning in all the rain All hope starting to fade, My heart has been betrayed

See how each pair of lines rhyme and all the the lines contain 7 syllables, it flows like that, but not all the lines have to have the same syllables, for instance

On a quest for a thrill, On a quest for a kill, You don’t know what you will find On a quest for gold, On a quest be bold, As you travel through the night

In that lines 1+2 rhyme and have 6 syllables, lines 4+5 rhyme and also have 6 syllables, and lines 3+6 rhyme and have 7 syllables, so it flows(I know it’s a lame subject, lol)

And then you can go like…

No escape, No freedom in sight No escape, Drifting through the night No escape, Hear you ask of me No escape, When will you be free?

It’s all about rhyming, syllables and getting it to flow. I hope this is a bit more helpful than me just critisizing you

Answer #2

Ummm, it contains a lot of bad grammar, most of it doesn’t rhyme and that which does, does so on different lines, The lines contain different syllables (ie; the first lines all have different syllables, same as the second lines, etc), It’s all over the place, the subject contradicts itself constantly…

I think it’s crap actually, sorry. It is quite bad

Answer #3

Thanks. Thats what I asked for…I hate all the stuff I write anyways

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