how do I get my dads trust back?

This past week I was on a cruise and me and 3 of my friends stayed back in florida for an hour or so to get some stuff at this surf shop. I decided to steel a bathing suit and I dont no why. like an idiot I thought it would be cool.I ended up letting my whole family down.im an honor roll student and an all around family kid.im 17 and I got cought shoplifting.that was the first time I had ever done it.I don’t know why I did I just did.I don’t know what to say. the first thing I thought about was that my family is never going to trust me agian. I am in huge trouble. I thought my dad would be so dissappointed in me. I am such a straight laced kid I just did something so stupid and im scared that my relationship with my family and friends will never be the same. I get home and talk to my dad thinking that he is going to be so dissappointed and I felt so bad. he was so dissappointed in me and would not stop crying.he said this is not like you this is not real so many times. I feel so bad and I dont know how to fix it or even deal with it.I was crying and felt bad.my dad told me that he was worried about my younger brother, that already hurt me enough then he said that he asked, since my brother did this does this mean he is a criminal.I bursted in tears.I care for my brother so much and he thinks im a bad person. I no I did something really bad and I except every single consequence that I adhere. I dont care what happens to me.I just feel so bad inside that I let my dad down so badly.I don’t know what to do I feel like I just cant live anymore. no im not going to do anything like that but thats how I feel.I feel like this will never get better. how do I gain my dads respect and trust back. I cant sleep and every time I think about how bad I made my dad feel I just get sick to my stomach. what do I do.

Answer #1

Alright, you really need to calm down about this. You’re an honor roll student and a good kid. One incident cannot change that. So you messed up. Big time. But people make mistakes. You’re not a bad kid. First of all, I know it’s hard, being a teenager and everything, realizing that words like forever really dont exist. No one is going to be mad at you forever. If this is still an issue in a year I’ll be surprised, let alone forever. No one is never going to trust you again. Seriously, one incident is going to erase every positive thing about you? If a friend of yours did the same thing, would your relationship with them be over? Are you really that narrow minded and judgmental? Understand that your father is this upset not at what you did but because there’s a 1000 other things going on in his head. How he messed up as a father. What does this mean, are there problems he missed. Have you done this before, did you just get caught this time. What is going to happen now, what is your future going to be like. You’re both taking this way too far. I mean, personally I’d rather my kid get upset about this stuff. You know, it would teach them not to do it again. But there’s a few things you really should know, he loves you, no matter what. He’s disappointed, but he’ll get over it. He’s what ifing more than you are what ifing. It’s going to be fine. By all means feel bad (it will prevent you from doing this again), but give yourself a little bit of a break. You’re not a bad person, you’re not a bad daughter. Yes, there will be consequences, and you absolutely deserve those. But stop flogging yourself for messing up. You are not perfect. And guess what, it’s ok.

Answer #2

They same time heals all wounds. It might seem bad now but in time you will all get over it.

The point of making mistakes is to learn from them and grow fom them. Dont do it again. Teach your brother that it was a mistake and to never do anything like that. Make up for what you did.

Truthfully, its NOT that bad. Yeah, it was wrong, illegal, and you dissapointed your family. But it could have been much, much worse.

It shows what a good person you really are that this has upset you and I think the worse thing for you is the dissapointment you feel in yourself.

You are being mature about the situation and taking responsibility for it and that shows your true colors. We all make mistakes and mess up but not too many people these days take responsibility for their actions.

Dont worry. This too shall pass.

Answer #3

“Dad, I don’t know why I did it, we all make mistakes especially when we’re young…at least I didn’t kill anybody - I saw the hurt in your and my brothers eyes…I never want to see that again - I know I was so very wrong and this was very disappointing for you and in myself - if I could change it I would but the only words I have ‘I’m so very sorry, can you please forgive me…I’ve got to have your support in my life, all my life…I love you’.

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