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I have 6 year old twins and i’ve learned that the reward system has worked well for me. Time-out worked so-so. Even at 3, they didnt like when i took away their favorite toys and made them go to bed or sit in the corner of the living room where they could’nt see the television. When they were well-behaved I gave them treats, praise, ALOT of hugs/kisses and fun things to do. After awhile they WANTED to behave. Persistance is always good when it comes to young children. You should make it clear what you will and will not tolerate. For example: If there is something in your house that you dont want your child to touch then it should ALWAYS be off-limits. No matter what. Making sure your child gets enough rest and has a REGULAR outlet for built-up energy is great. Limiting sugars in young childrens’ diets usually helped behavior-wise too. Mine were less hyper when i gave them sugar-free snacks and juices. Especially when we were going places where i needed them to behave.
use the pavlovian method(its not as brutal as it sounds), it is just the idea of classical conditioning by using associative memory, the “IF” “Then” method could be used also, but the key is persistence, and then once your todler is old enough to understand exactly what behavior is expected of him, you can stop because he will know what behavior he is to exhibit, and from time to time go back to the roots and reiterate the way he is to behave……
pavlov came to a conclusion, after a simple psychological experiment using dogs, someone could be trained for any action or reaction with associative memory, for example his dogs: he rang a bell b4 every meal he gave to his dogs, same time everytime, he did it for some time, and wanted to see if the conditioning had worked and that when the bell had rung if the dogs expected food, even if it was not the same time of the day, and surely enough when he rang the bell his dogs were salivating with the thought of food and were ready for their meal, hence its called classical conditioning because it uses associative memory(aka the dogs associated the bell with food, and as your toddler would expect punishment for something wrong and a reward for something good)
but make sure when you are training him in the etiquette of society and how he is expected to behave, be stern, don’t laugh, and don’t crumple down when he cries, because believe it or not, kids know since they were in their little cribs that “if I cry they’ll come running over” and they apply that philosophy every which way they can……
I love kids, but at the same time there are a lot of positive ways kids can learn how to be good, just like I teach my little nephew, I am teaching my puppy, and have been with puppies b4 him…….reiterating the fact, that something that he does is not good, tell him a stern “NO” keep a constant face that he will come to recognise as “oh crap, I did something wrong again and thats how I know”……..and don’t pull that face out toooo often, that will make him used to defiance from the very begining……..use neutral feedback, when he does something good celebrate, when he does something bad its “corner time”…….
hope this helps……..good luck
i am only 14 but have seen many episodes of supernanny!! explain to your child what they have done wrong and tell them that if they do it again you will take away our favourite toy and you will keep it until they make an apology and promise never to do it again..if this happes more than once take the toy off them for a whole day and so on… yours, lauren
First , your toddler is not a dog. By using that method you are training a zombie. Time outs have always worked for me. They give everyone involved time to think. Most small children become a little out of hand when they are tired. Give them time to rest and they will probably sleep and be more reasonable upon waking.
btw I wasn’t trying to be mean……..i just read my own post and it sounded pretty harsh, Sorry
anyways, another thing that i forgot to mention, don’t give your toddler an incentive for material things everytime, sometimes praise should be well enough, sometimes a scoop of icecream or some candy at a reasonable time, if you outdo yourself everytime he does something good, you’ll run out of things for him to keep interested in………..so switch it up, praise, gift, praise, praise, gift…….blah blah blah…….
not with the punishment though, keep 1 punishment as the absolute dreaded one, then 2-3 that you’ll use sparingly, and then have the least of all punishments for little things that he does wrong……..
hope this helps…….
hope this
btw Janet, uhhh….the pavlovian method was not only used on dogs, that is the only one that sticks in ppls minds, thats y i was giving her the example……..anybody who’s somebody knows the pavlov’s dogs theory………aka classical conditioning……..I am in no way trying to offend someone by trying to say that kids are like dogs, only an ignorant mind would think so……..and I know you have more sense than that…..I’m highlighting the underlying principle if you didn’t catch that yet…….
hope this helps janet………much love, and season’s best
We have a 6 year old daughter, and our bigget problem with her right now is when we tell her she has to dress up wearing a blouse and a skirt for special occassions, and it arguing takes a lot time even if she finally does as we say. But listening to her complaining isn’t fun.
What I want to say, it’s a part of parenting to disagree with your children sometimes. Many 19th century parents carried out the solution with spanking, but now more and more countries thankfully ban such cruel methods.
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