Cutting/burning and Depression has taken control of me. I have been cutting for 3 years, on my ankles, upper thighs, hips, sides of my tummy, and on my hands. I also have been burning myself. I take something metal, anything, and heat it up with a lighter, then I push it into my skin, or I hold a lighter to my skin. I just told my parents about my self harm and they put me into therapy. At school I was pushed down the stairs and broke my elbow, 3 days after my 14th birthday I was raped, and my parents don't have enough money to pay for therapy and pills and home school. My insurance declined and I'm spiraling down. I have not a person I can trust because my dad and I fight a lot and my mother get so stressed from talking to me that she starts crying and runs of to a hotel for the night. My parents are also fighting. My brother needs surgery and once again we cannot pay. I'm working at a stable with horses 40 hours a week, and I sell my paintings and my $800 gibson sg in on ebay to help pay medical bills. I have no where to go, no one to turn to. Before I kill my self I plan to burn all my poetry and journals. On January 12th I O.D. on sleeping pills. But I woke up in the hospital the next day. :\
Even suicide has failed me.
Can someone on here help me at all?
If you are not going to say anything knowlegable then please leave.
Like nerd said there are therapists and places that work on a sliding scale. If you have any universities around you I would enquire there. Call social services and they may be able to refer you to the right place. Here are some hotlines you can also call. I urge you to call them. I know things seem bad right now, but they can get better.
National Sexual Assault Hotline: 1-800-656-HOPE SAFE (Self-Abuse Finally Ends) Alternative Information Line: 1-800-DONT-CUT National Clearinghouse Family Support/Children's Mental Health: 1-800-654-1247 National Alliance for the Mentally Ill: 1-800-950-6264. National Health Info. Center, Info & Referral to support groups, prof. societies, government agencies, publications:1-800-336-4797 Suicide hotline: 1-800-784-2433 LifeLine: 1-800-273-8255 Boys Town National Hotline, 1-800-448-3000 (suicide suicide prevention, depression, school issues, parenting troubles, runaways, relationship problems, physical abuse, sexual abuse, emotional abuse, chemical dependency, anger and much more)
You need to look for a therapist that works on a "sliding scale". These dr's don't take insurance, they base their fee on your income. I am charged $35 for a fifty minute session. You will have to hit the phone book and make a few calls to find one, but it will be worth it. Check with your county MHMR on procedures to get on some medication. You sound like you have something biochemical going on. If you want your life to change, you are in control of the steps you take. But you already knew that...
I really don't know what to say to someone in this situation. I have yes been depressed and had the thought of taking my own life,but I have never gone that far. I would seriously think about what you want to do. I will pray and be here for you in any way that I can just let me know. I know you have been through a lot and hope God will be with you!
