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How can I get my pre-teen to understand "responsability"?

My 11 yr old step daughter has been (for lack of a better word) “half assing” on ALL of her chores. She recently went about 600 text messages over her limit so she was given a monetary amout for each of the houshold chores. When she completed a chore that chores “value” was deducted from the overage charge on her cell phone bill. After the charges were worked off she got her phone back. Well we came to notice after she went back to her mom’s house that she skipped some not really noticable until it’s too late steps in some of the chores. Some such as not rinsing or even scrubbing the corners of the bathtub, not making sure all of the food is off of the dishes before she picks them up. So to sum it up…she got her phone and we got “played”. Any advice?

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Answer #1

instead of simply taking her phone away and saying oh well, you should give her a chance to earn your trust back. tell her that if she does all of her chores for a week or so and does them correctly she’ll get to keep her phone if she doesnt then take it for a week, in that week if she does them all give it back, you just need to keep on it and not give her any slack, she needs to realize that in the real world when she does things like that she’ll get fired. make sure you explain that to her also. HOPE I HELPED =D

Answer #2

Learn from it - trust but VERIFY !!

Answer #3

Put her phone on a pre-paid cap. She can’t use more than she is given then, and she will learn to allocate her usage of calls/texts.

Answer #4

maybe she’s trying to say she needs more attention from her parents? I’ve noticed that when kids start acting up like that out of the blue, it’s because they need more parental involvment. it’s worth a try.

honestly…I would take her phone away for a year. she’s obviously too young and it’s getting in the way of her devolopment. she’s not learning responsibility or honesty.

Answer #5

simply dont give her her chore value points until the chore is 100% done. this advice will probably come back to haunt me, but its what I have at the moment.

Answer #6

its hard because I use to do that. mum got a book and wrote down what chores that I have to do. each afternoon when I got home after I had done them then mum would sign off on them if they were all signed off I wold get my phone if not I wouldnt get my phone. also put her on a pre-paided cap then tell her it has to last for 6 weeks and if she uses it before then she dosnt get any more! hope it goes well

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