How to help my Agnostic boyfriend become Christian?

Im in love with someone who is an Agnostic. He has lived through something recently that I don’t think he should have come out of alive. It was horrific. Not only was he alive, he came out of it with only scratches. Im not going to go into detail about what happened because thats not the point. After the incident, he told me that he wanted to go to church and that he believed. Well, I learned today that he’s agnostic. After all that. He says that he thought it over and that he thinks that pretty much, you just go in a hole in the ground when you die and thats it. I said, so you think, all these people and planets and all this is just here? To ultimatly die? And thats their purpose? And he said yes. Now, I know everyone has different beliefs and opinions. But I understand where your coming from, because the thought of the person you love going to hell is almost too much to bear. All you can do is pray, and get people to pray for him. Talk to someone about it at your church, get their advice. Thats all I know to do at this point.

“I asked him if he believed Creation or Evolution. You know what he said? He said Evolution. That just crushed my dreams.” evolution is not something to belive in it is a fact proven with evidence and carefull consideration agnostic in this instance means he is either a deist or an atheist deists belive in a god but no religion I am an atheist I belive in no god or religion he has probably been exposed to fossals like many people he has come to the conclusan that creation is a myth the 7 24 hour creation is a myth. no bs. if there was a god he took awile to do his thing starlight has to travel billions of years for us to see it my recimondation is you should go stargazing read a book or three on just other religions without beliving what they say without critacal thinking realize that galeleo was nearly killed by the church for star gazing and coming to a non dogmatic conclusion that the sun was at the center of the soler system and that what poeple have thought for thousands of years was wrong just like slavery Exodus 21:16 forced brides Deuteronomy 22:28-29 and oh yes poligamy too Exodus 21:10 by the way where is your dad? hmmm ? I want to give him 50 sheckles ;P

Nitpick: “Believing in something that can be proven wrong is irrational”. No - believing in things that cannot be proven wrong (or right) is irrational, as is believing in things that have already been proven wrong. Every scientific theory could be proven wrong with the right evidence - that’s what makes science so robust. :)

‘Isnt that like greek for fool?’

You don’t want to push this on him, but clearly you don’t have the slightest bit of respect for his views or why he has them. I doubt you even know or care why he’s agnostic. You want some advice? Have him talk to someone else about matters of faith. Clearly, you’re not Christianity’s best ambassador.

I happen to find myself in a similar situation. My advice…never ever push, you’ll scare him away. Make sure he knows your beliefs then just Pray for him!, invite him to church and that about all you can do. but if you want him to stick around, dont push or talk about it with him to much.

=]]

Odds are, you can’t. To most people who don’t believe in any gods, the concept sounds about as plausible as any other mythical creature. You’d have as much luck convincing him unicorns are real.

If it’s that important to you, you probably need to find a boyfriend with similar beliefs.

Unless you intend to marry this guy soon, why not just relax and discover what you two have in common. You both might learn a great deal from each other if you take the pressure off and just be yourself.

And yes, your actions will speak ten times louder than your words.

Flip things around: How would you feel about him attempting to dissuade you of your faith? If you’re not prepared to tolerate the same behaviour from him, you shouldn’t be following the advice people have given here and persistently confronting him with yours.

Evolution is a necessary component of life. Are you saying you don’t believe in life? You seem to be pretty young, so I will not fault you for knowing so little about the world. I hope that one day you will see that the Flying Spaghetti Monster is the one true God. May His Noodly Appendage bless you. RAmen.

whats the big deal? so what if he doesnt have the same religious views as you? why should that matter? he wont “find god” just from you bugging him about it all the time. if he wants to be a christian he will. if not, get over it.

Why are so many heavily religious people terminally sarcasm-impaired? That was a joke.

And why couldn’t you date him? Seems awfully closed-minded of you.

“He has lived through something recently that I don’t think he should have come out of alive.”

Wow, harsh.

parisa, you should assume your boyfriend will never see eye to eye with you on religion, because odds are he won’t.

‘I know it might be hard, my ex-boyfriend wanted to kill god, but I had to break up with im because of it.’

Were you afraid he’d succeed?

no I wasnt but I couldnt date him

“I know it might be hard, my ex-boyfriend wanted to kill god, but I had to break up with im because of it.”

Were you afraid he’d succeed?

Well, the question about Creation/Evolution doesn’t really sort the Christians from the agnostics, does it? The only question that can do that is: ‘Is Jesus Christ your Saviour and your Lord?’ So, where does he stand on that? His answer to that will tell you far more about his faith or lack of it.

Otherwise, you’ve had good advice from Christians like Silverwings and chaplainmack1.

braddersj - you have a very, very narrow view of Christian sex!! As a Christian married for 17 years I can assure you that you’re thinking of a very confused minority, not the more contented majority.

I have a similar problem but my boyfriend believes god is in his mind and doesnt believe jesus christ as his saviour yet I can only pray for him and try to to make him know jesus through my actions because im only 17 and we have a long way till marriage and I have faith that god has the power and he would want to save him as he is his child and it is his intetions as well. I will pray for your sitiuation but you musts pray too and you can be in prayer with me for my situation.

Well hey, if he’s willing to hear you out tell him what you have to say, what you belive, & why. BUt you have to remember that most things in this world are just beliefs, even some things that people have come to call facts are just mere beliefs. If he doesn’t believe in God why stress over that? You seemed to like the guy before you knew that, why are you getting all flustered now? Perhaps he’ll come into it with time, but if you push it on him he’ll get defensive & probably will not listen or rebeil to what you have to say. Don’t force it. What’s meant to be will happen.

* “Evolution is a theory…but how did we evolve from apes if they’re still here? They wouldn’t be here if evolution was the truth…now, would they?”

Domestication is a lie too. Since there are still wolves, it’s impossible that dogs were domesticated from wolves. I mean come on, just look at a chihuaha and compare that to a wolf. Do you ever see wolves giving birth to a half-wolf/half-chihuaha? Of course not. Also, my science book (the Bible) doesn’t mention anything about how dogs were domesticated from wolves, therefor it couldn’t have happened. Nope. Chihuahas and wolves were both created ex-nihilo by magic. That’s the only reasonable conclusion.

Domestication is a LIE!!!

I have a similar problem but my boyfriend believes god is in his mind and doesnt believe jesus christ as his saviour yet I can only pray for him and try to to make him know jesus through my actions because im only 17 and we have a long way till marriage and I have faith that god has the power and he would want to save him as he is his child and it is his intetions as well. I will pray for your sitiuation but you musts pray too and you can be in prayer with me for my situation.

Wouldnt that be called conditional love? If you love somebody you accept who they are. Picture him trying to get you to change your beliefs to suit him. Its just unfair for you to pressure him into something he obviously doesnt believe. You can’t force somebody to believe something. And I believe trying to force someone to believe things they obviously don’t would be considered brain washing. Maybe things like that were acceptable in back in the day in Nazi Germany but people generally don’t agree with that sort of stuff in todays educated society.

ok in the bible it says that you shouldn’t be yoked together with nonbelievers. that means you shouldn’t be dating this guy. I know it might be hard, my ex-boyfriend wanted to kill god, but I had to break up with im because of it. you can still be his friend, and just live your life the way god wants you to. one day, when he thinks of you, he will think of god, and maybe he will want to become a Christian, because he saw how you were. and hopefully he wont do it just so he an be with you

Don’t push his religious views.

let him do what ever the hell he wants.

A couple does not have to have the exact same worldview but they have to have mutual respect for each other’s.

My 1st wife was Catholic and I’m an atheist. She never tried to save me and I never tried to come between her and her church. We did sometimes tease each other but nothing cruel. We did break up after 18 years but our religious differences had nothing to do with it.

It seems that your boyfriend respects your beliefs but you don’t respect his. A good relationship can only come from mutual respect. If you can only respect a Christian than you need to cut your boyfriend loose and find a Christian boy.

Haha. Funny story, I’m a Catholic and so is my boyfriend, but the thing is my boyfriend doesn’t want to be Catholic! He considers himself a Athiest although he was baptised as a Catholic! We always have these intense debates about all our beliefs.

Basically, I’m not trying to change his beliefs. I honor his choices and thoughts. I think you should kind of do the same. I understand how you feel because when my boyfriend told me his thoughts I felt kinda crushed because I’m very strict in my beliefs and I didn’t want religion dissagrements to come between us, but this is his life, and his choices. If he doesn’t believe in god etc. then that’s his choice, don’t force your religion upon him. No one wants that.

kemikalpsykosis: Evolution is a theory. Just like Gravity, Relativity, or Thermodynamics. The scientific definition of “theory” is different to the day to day usage you are familiar with. A scientific theory is simply something that makes testable, disprovable predictions.

Nobody is claiming humans evolved from Apes - evolution claims humans and primates have a common ancestor. Further, do you seriously think that entirety of the scientific community somehow missed that point?

Evolution isn’t a necessary component of life. Evolution is a theory…but how did we evolve from apes if they’re still here? They wouldn’t be here if evolution was the truth…now, would they?

Anyways, you shouldn’t try and shove your beliefs down his throat. It doesn’t matter what religion he is; We have freedom of religion.

If it hurts you that much, then you two obviously shouldn’t be together.

why are you trying to change him? how would you like it if he tried to change you? you should like him no matter what and if you try to change him it could just completly mess anything you ever had with him!

your pretty selfish if you try to change him, I believe in evolution but im open to the christianity thing, but trying to change someone isnt the right way to go about it, or you will end up a lonely old spinster

A word of caution, are you aware of the biblical mandate, to not be unequally yoked to an unbeliever? If not, you ought to look it up, and study it, and seek advice concerning it. Before you ever think of committing to this relationship. The biblical warnings are there for our own good, and no matter what you feel now, if you fail to heed them, more than likely you will find consequences that you did not want to face.

Be careful too, of his conversion, in order to win your hand. That is not the right reason. He must come to the Lord, because he feels the conviction of the Holy Spirit, and chooses to live his life accordingly. Nothing else is good enough.

For your own sake, and the sake of your future, take it easy on this. Share with him, but, do not try to force him in any way, it will never work.

I say this out of love and concern for you.

If you are willing to wait, there are plenty of guys out there that are already committed to Christ, for the right reasons. In fact, if you seek the Lord on this, and not your flesh, he has one that is hand picked, by him, for you. But, in order to find him, you have to learn to crucify the flesh… and wait. Trusting… in his provision.

Be Blessed…

Being agnostic is a position of knowledge, not belief. Given there are multiple religions in the world, many of which claim to the worshipping “the one true god”, you must acknowledge that either all the other are clearly deluded and you have lucked into the right one (unless you choose Christianity after examining all others), or you have been mislead and another faith is destined for eternal paradise. While this is not the forum to start examining the fundamental proofs of various religions (if there is such a thing), it is clear this young gentleman values such evidence above dogmatic belief born of lifetime indoctrination.

If you were really honest with yourself you would recognise that you only believe you have chosen the right god and Jesus was his Messiah sent to wash away the worlds sins. You do not know it without any shadow of a doubt, hence you are also strictly agnostic towards the idea. Of course some people will claim that they 100% KNOW there is a god, but such people usually do so with unusual zeal so that no facts can damage their precious, fragile beliefs. On whiff of evidence and the whole lot come tumbling down - it’s all about faith remember?

Perhaps you should do as the inherent word of god instruct in the bible? I believe the passage is Deuteronomy 17 2-7. Invite him round - I’ll get the rocks.

Evolution is not “something you believe in”. It is a scientific theory which has stood countless assaults by the very people who put forward the idea, their peers, experimentally verified hypothesis. The word “theory” may scare you, but it does not hold the same meaning in science as it does to the ordinary person. A scientific theory is a framework which explains observable phenomenon and verifiable facts. Where the theory make predictions, we can test them. When the theory is proven wrong it is adjusted to more accurately reflect reality, or in severe cases thrown out and replaced with a theory that better fits the new body of knowledge. The theory of evolution has withstood all of these attacks and continues to provide us with life saving medicines, better food crops, more effective pesticides, more productive animal breed, and healthier lives. No amount of religious bigotry can change this.

Instead of trying to change his beliefs, perhaps you should examine your own? Do you want to live your life in fear of the god or a far of desert nation who lived 2,000 years ago, and who will throw you into the eternal pits of fire if you displease him, or would you rather live in the real world and continue benefiting from the progress of scientific achievement (including the computer you are now using)?