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How can I make some real friends?

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Sadly, I know. But I really have no friends. I've tried one recently, but the best way to describe him is "A Boorish Drifter."

He moves around a lot and has a BunCH of Girlfriends and the last time I've seen him was probably back in June of this year 2007. He's MEAN and well... Boorish. Look Boorish up at m-w.com if you do not know the meaning. He is ALL that is on that LIST! So, Should I throw -out that ticking bomb or keep still as a friend and pretend not to be bothered by him?? I do all that I can to ignore him, but he'ss uhhhgg!

Anyway,

I am searching for these sort of Rare Friends:
  1. Does NOT Include Each of the Following: Smokes, Drinks, has Boorish Friends, gets laid whenever they can, Anyone who follow ones/others 'Issues.' Maybe cause they think its cool or to just 'FIT' in. None of those, no Way! One who Curses! Everyone seems to Curse just cause its the biggest Word Trend. I HATE IT! It's quite affending. )

  2. A friend who are themselves. Their own Style going on. Bizarre things in common, like for say, I LOVE spiders. I mean, I Hold them in my bare hands! (and they don't bite.) Somewhere like that.

  3. They can't look or be TOO Geeky/Nerdy. It confuses me into thinking ' Oh, so they're into computers?' and borring stuff?'

  4. Someone who is outgoing, They love Fashion as I do and Love Shopping! (nothing sleazy) , umm, and Enjoy Photography. I LUV Photographers! Certain ones..

  5. They are kind, and Loveable. & Hugs, I love Hugs! And I don't mean Quick Second Ones! >: (