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How can I talk to my daughter and her husband about missing pills?

I have a 24 year old daughter. She has 2 children and lives with her boyfriend (the children’s father) at his father’s house. We are white and her boyfriend is mixed (his father is black and his mother was white). This was very upsetting for us at first but we have come to accept the situation. It’s not that we are racists but we are from the south and this has not been accepted behaviour in our lifetime. My husband has had a lot of health problems and is on pain medication. The last few times my daughter and her boyfriend have been to our home pain medication has gone missing. My heart is so heavy knowing that one of them is stealing from us. We purposely counted and left the meds in the medicine drawer in the kitchen after we suspected the theft just to make sure my husband was not imagining that there were meds missing. We are now having to lock the medicine up in our bedroom when we know they are coming. I hate having to live like this. How do I approach this issue and bring it out in the open without causing a hugh fight?

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Answer #1

Dear bmcrae, The first thing is you need to be a responsible mother, grandmother. You are aware one of them have a drug problem…it’s time to act like a parent. You must talk with both of them about your their problem…it’s not just speculation at this point it’s fact and one of them has a problem. Bring with you knowledge of rehabs and places they can seek advice for help with addictions. Your grandbabies are in the mist of trouble and you need to step up to the plate. The fact that they stole and he is mixed is not a concern and you must see the real problem here…someone is in trouble. If you do not do anything in fear of their reaction then you are part of the problem. You need to be mature and prepared to loose their relationship in favour of saving a life. Being a parent isn’t easy and facing these problems are scary so arm yourself with knowledge about this situation, talk with consellors and find a good rehab. Knowledge is power and you have been given a challenge; use this knowledge to save their family. Sue….good luck

Answer #2

First off the fact that your daughter is with a half black man is irrelevant to your problem but that aside all you can really do is ask her what she is doing with your medication. Does she need money or is she or her husband addicted to the pills? Both problems can be fixed so it is not the end of the world but yes it will be a tough talk to have.

Answer #3

In your mentioning that your daughter’s boyfriend is mixed, I sense that it isn’t totally accepted.

however, it does sound like you have a problem with the medication going missing. I would broach the topic with your daughter first. Don’t accuse either one of them outright, First start off with just mentioning that pills have gone missing. See what her response is and then take it a little further in mentioning they go missing when they are over. Just let her know that it is causing you concern that there may be a prescription drug abuse problem with either her or her boyfriend and that you want to help.

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