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How can I get my parents to calm down about my child's father?

I have been with my bf for 8 years. he is a great father. His jobs have been on and off for a LONG TIME. A black cloud seems to follow him around wherever he goes. My parents have gotten to the point where they won’t even let him drop off my daughter to their house. It affects my child b/c she’s only 2 and never spent the night at her grandmother’s house. My mother loves her VERY MUCH. My stepfather is the one who puts things in my mother’s head. I don’t know how to get my parents to stop punishing my daugther with their hatred for her father!!! It has nothing to do with my child but she is the one who can’t see my Mother(her favorite person in the who world) more than once a week. My bf is very patient when it comes to this situation. But he’s not going to be for much longer b/c there is NO excuse in the world why My parent’s can’t get past their issuses w/ him? HELP!!!!

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Answer #1

You’re right, your daughter is the one ‘paying the price’ (lack of visits) for her grandfathers ‘dislike’ for your husband - you MUST get that point across to your Mom - ‘Mom, it’s hurting your grandaughter’ - I hope things improve but regardless NEVER cutoff or limit contact - that would be wrong - they need each other to keep those close bonds…I wish you all the very best, especially the little one !!

Answer #2

!Comunicating in the right way so that they coaparate with you. Ask your parents( they are the probelm?) if they want to help you in this situation, first you have to be on the same side. Don’t walk away when the talk turns out to be a fight don’t make it a fight, stay cool you have no reason to panik your parents love you and you love your bf. So there is a lik. The best would be if you told them what you asked us. Make clear to them that your searching for help. You can be open with your family don’t be afraid. Just tell them, when you get the urge of them being against you and criticising you to yell back= realize how mature they really are or how mature you are. The best is normal comunication.Not fighting. It won’t go away so you myswell clean up now.

Answer #3

dont take ur daughter over there, she does not need that. if they dont want her over there , then dont take her. ur mom will relize that she missed one of the best things in the whole wide world, is spending time with their grandchildren. ur mom will ask or come looking for ur daughter if she really wants to see her. they need to get over the thing of ur babys daddy.

FANTASY

Answer #4

Dear pleaserespond, There are several situations here…first the fact your not married and he has a hard time keeping a job. For an older gentleman like your step-dad this could mean he isn’t worthy of you and feels that you can do better. Having your daughter stay with your mother could been seen as a free place to drop off your child. Do you all not go visit? If they won’t let your b/f in the house or refuse to communicate with him then perhaps you and the child make these visits. Have mom stay with you for a night so she can be with the child. There is more here than meets the eye and I’m not ready to rule out your step-fathers concerns. Sue…good luck

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