Can a cheater stop cheating?

To add to Gaia, there are the sort of cheaters who just cannot commit to one person. It’s not that that sort of person can never change, it’s that they have to truly want to change their ways and lifestyle. Your husband, has been cheating throughout, it doesn’t seem like he wants to change it doesn’t sound like he’s even slightly inclined to change. You can try marriage counseling but you are young and I do think you are worth much more than this.

He’s using you. Stop going back to this a-hole, you’re too young to have to deal with this BS! Go out there and find a man who will treat you like a queen!

1. The old law: An Object In Motion Tends To Want To Stay In Motion - If he’s been cheating for a while now repeatedly, over and over again - he’s more like to keep cheating in the coming future. .
2. Behavioral patterns - every time you comply with them, they solidify a bit more: His behavioral pattern has been of a cheater for long enough to be solidified. Thus, even if he tries to quit - it’ll be EXTREMELY difficult for him to maintain that. I am not saying it’s impossible, but it takes quiet a lot of time and will power to un-wire old solidified behavioral patterns. With him, he doesn’t even seems to want to change, so there is not even the question of it. .
3. ‘Forced’ nature - You can never sustain, be happy and fulfilled with a FORCED relationship where you have to force the other person into being in a relationship with you. He clearly does not want the relationship, thus it’s more of a ‘forced’ nature rather than something heartily chosen. .
4. Masculine - Feminine balance - In a male female romantic relationship, there has to be a synergistic balance between the masculine and feminine energies to make it click. Here it seems that your man, who represents the masculine pillar is doing whatever he likes, treating you like trash, disrespecting you and you are just being a door mat which he can use and throw as he likes. Thus, there is a dis-balance between the masculine pillar’s value and the feminine pillar’s value - such a relationship is usually destructive and emotionally crippling for the pillar who seems to have the lower value or minimal importance. (Here, it’s you) .
5. Personal Unfulfilment and Unhappiness - A romantic relationship is supposed to be a positive aspect of your life. It’s supposed to fuifill you needs for romantic affection which every human individual possesses. If it’s being a source of unfulfillment, unhappiness and negative emotions for you - then, it’d clearly be wise for you to rather break away. .
6. Lack of the 3 pillars: As I have said before, the three MOST important pillars of a successful romantic relationship are: 1. Honesty, 2. Trust and 3. Respect. In your case, He is dishonest, you lack trust on him because of his dishonesty and he clearly does not respect you - thus, all three pillars have been shaken. The relationship thus, has been permanently distorted. .
7. Lack of boundaries - Boundaries are a set of personal rules, the other person is not allowed to break or violate in a relationship. It appears none of you has a proper set of boundaries in place. This is one of the reasons why he does what he does - because you just have no boundaries preventing him from doing whatever he wants. .
8. Clearly distorted undertone - The relationship has a clearly distorted undertone (vibe) from what you describe. There is no doubt about that. .
9. Brain Proof - The brain wants proofs not promises. The last time he cheated and you accepted that behavior, it gave a reference experience as proof to his brain to look back to as reference saying, “Nothing too bad will happen if I cheat” .
10. Time factor - Now that you’re 24, you’re quite young. I am not saying it will not be bad but what I am saying is it’d be at least 10 times worse and more destructive if you choose to wait, he does not change and you turn 30 in the process. Like they say, “Don’t wait until it’s too late to move” .
11. Taking for granted - Whenever one person in a relationship starts taking the other person for granted, the relationship’s foundational blocks get undermined. Such a relationship if sustained can be very destructive for the person being taken for granted. He’s clearly taking you for granted here. .
12. Regret - If there is an element of regret in the heart of the man or the woman sharing a romantic relationship, the regret will only intensify with the eventual progression of time. You clearly regret being in a relationship with him in your heart of hearts, even if you might not have consciously verbalized the feeling that way. .
13. Change - Your brain is wired to avoid change and live in passive comfort. It might be stopping you from actually putting your foot down and ending the relationship by causing your mind to come up with excuses as of why you should rather sustain the relationship - just so you don’t have to deal with change. .
14. Chemicular addiction: After a while, your body chemistry gets addicted to the person you share a romantic relationship with. And like anything else which is addictive, the addiction tries to sustain itself. This might be yet another reason as of why you might be facing problems with putting your foot down in the situation. . A lot of people on asked for advice, will simply say something like : “He sounds like a bad man, just divorce him” as if it were that easy. Divorce or breakups, both are heart shattering and soul numbingly painful. I know it’s going to be hard. But you have to do it - before it gets to late. The faster, the better. . Ultimately it comes down to what you choose for yourself: Do you want to be in a relationship which will be a source of pain for you for the rest of your life? … OR… Are you willing to face the short term pain of a divorce and recreate a happy, positive life and possibly find a better person as your soul mate later. . Listen to no body. This is your life and a very important decision regarding it. Listen to your heart and ONLY it, do what it says. . –Andrew

Confront him about how you feel. he could either be able to change or be the type of person who will just keep cheating. It might be a good idea if you really want the relationship to work to both see a marriage counsellor were you can both openly talk about why he cheats and wether or not he thinks he can change it. If he has cheated numerous times on you already though i would personally say that he’s probably not going to stop cheating and you should find someone who loves and respects you more.

Thank you for y our reply, it has been very beneficial in helping me decide what I should be doing with myself and my life.

Thanks to everyone who took the time to reply. I have weighed out a lot of things and am trying to decide what I should ultimately do. (even though I know what I should do) It isnt always easy. – lost_in_space

Glad I could help – Andrew