Hi,

Here are four ways to build self-esteem:

Free yourself from “shoulds”. Live your life on the basis of what is possible for you and what feels right to you instead of what you or others think you “should” do. “Shoulds” distract us from identifying and fulfilling our own needs, abilities, interests and personal goals. Find out what you want and what you are good at, value those, and take actions designed to fulfill your potential.

Respect your own needs. Recognize and take care of your own needs and wants first. Identify what really fulfills you — not just immediate gratifications. Respecting your deeper needs will increase your sense of worth and well-being.

Set achievable goals. Establish goals on the basis of what you can realistically achieve, and then work step-by-step to develop your potential. To strive always for perfectionist, absolute goals — for example, “Anything less than an A in school is always unacceptable” — invites stress and failure.

Talk to yourself positively. Stop listening to your “cruel inner critic.” When you notice that you are doubting or judging yourself, replace such thoughts with self-accepting thoughts, balanced self-assessment and self-supportive direction.

There are also very popular self-esteem seminars. You could also take your friend shopping :) Tell her / him how great the stuff looks and find really good deals.