Betrayed at work by husband?

In today's world 'sexual harassment' is serious business. And in light of that I think this could and should have been handled differently from the beginning. Your husband and the cook are at a disadvantage in a way, and therefore should be the propriety of good behavior.

Example, when the rumor went around that your husband made a comment about another workers butt–you laughed it off? Did you ask him if he made this comment? If he did, he's headed for trouble and needs to know it. For that reason, it is definitely not funny. With another neutral worker or next level supervisor, he should have confronted the worker and [a]apologized for talking inappropriately OR [b] told her he'd heard this rumor and he wanted her to know he had not done this and would not [there by nipping said rumor at the root].

Then you find his number, but that's 'no big deal' to you because you knew why he had it and you did talk about it. Yet, you bring it up here, so perhaps it does bother you? Isn't there any other way 'whatever' could have been taken care of without him having her number to call?"

Last, he copped out to the woman when she asked why he wasn't talking and joking with her and he completely bailed out on responsibility and said it was all you. Right? Why did he do that? [a] because it was easier than taking responsibility on himself and saying, 'you know, I just decided it isn't a good idea. I wouldn't want my wife laughing and joking with someone; and realized I shouldn't either. I'm sure you understand." [b] he still wants to talk to her, didn't want to blow her off so he laid it on you.

What can you do about it. Tell him his wording and lack of respect FOR you is upsetting. And then, it's wait and see if he actually does what he says he's going to do–which is stop joking and talking with the female. Actions speak louder than words. And if he keeps on, you'll know he not only WANTS to talk to her. He can disregard your feelings, and put his own wants ahead of what hurts you. And he knows it'll hurt you because you told him it would.

You really can't go and explain it to this girl. And for him to explain it now, would look like he went home and got pistol-whipped into saying, "Actually it wasn't my wife, it was me." Damage done. Let's see how he holds up his end of this bargain.

And again, sexual harassment is serious these days. What is said in jest can sound blatantly wrong in a courtroom setting. And believe me, it's been done.

Tell him to treat this co-worker like he would want men to treat his daughter.

So have your talk with him, tell him how you feel, and see how it plays out.

Don't know if that helps, but I hope so. Blessings and good luck