Behavior problems

I’m a mother of 2 boys that are 4 and 5 and they don’t like to listen to me.I’ve tried many tactis to get them to but nothing seems to help.

Please don’t suggest wooping I’m not that kind of a parent!

Answer #1

Actually psychologists get away with spouting all sorts of nonsense (see conversion therapy). If they believed that spanking was acceptable, they would say so… and even if they didnt advocate it in class, there’s no particular reason they need to be so completely against it, providing us with all sorts of research articles and statistics that show that it isnt really helpful, and at worst it can be harmful…

People who were violently abused end up differently… some end up violent to their children, some end up depressed and withdrawn from their children, some end up as wonderful parents… You really need to look at everyone… Some kids learn that hitting can get you what you want (based on the fact that their parents smacked them and their parents got what they wanted), so if it is a risk, why even go there?

And every generation since forever has claimed that the previous generation was better… The kids were better behaved, the families were better, etc etc… All that has changed now is that women have more rights, which means they are free to divorce, which oh look, means there’s more divorces, children have started to get rights which means that abusing them is no longer acceptable, and there’s an increase in the media, which makes it seem like the world has gone to hell, but really there’s not that much that’s new, it is just that they’re reporting it more… Society has stopped moralizing everything, and people are more free to do what they want… I highly doubt any of this correlates directly with people not spanking their kids…

Answer #2

the whole ‘dont hit your child movement’ has scientific backing behind it… kids who grow up with violence, often then display aggressive behavior… where do you think a kid is going to learn to hit from? although the occasional spanking hasnt been shown to cause harm, why have your kids fear you if there are other ways? It is interesting how no child psychologist I’ve ever taken a class from advocates physical punishment…

when you say you’ve tried tactics, you probably dont use them consistently… every time you give in (say you tell your kid 5 times to do something and they dont, and then you give up and there’s no consequences, the kid is going to learn that they just have to wait you out…). So create consequences for not doing what you say. EVERY SINGLE TIME. Consistency is important. And then there’s reinforcing bad behavior… If they whine and you eventually give in, they learn that whining will give them what they want… So you cant give in… again, the idea is consistency… have you ever tried getting a book or taking a parenting class on it? some kids are just born with more difficult temperaments, and learning behavioral principles will help you realize how doing certain things (even if you dont realize) will increase or decrease their behaviors…

Answer #3

lovely_lady I was spanked as a child and so was my brothers, my older brother hates my dad even today ( we were never abused, just hit when we did something bad) and I swear never to hit children, because you never know if a child can handle it or not. and some just get emotionally damaged.

Why is it that some people can control children without spanking them and others can’t? I have a very well mannered and calm friend who never gave her parents any trouble and she was NEVER spanked and also a lot of my other friends.

Read ty’s answer, it’s really good and she’s right you know. CONSISTENCY is a MUST, always follow through with your threats if you tell them they’ll get no tv for a week, give them no tv for a week etc.

Answer #4

Because yu shouldn’t do dhat !!

Kids are always like that.. Most of them. I suqqest next time yu take away there toys. Or dher tv. Or somethinq dhey really value.

But yu really can’t control them . Untill dhey qet older, becuase @ dhiss aqe dhey don’t really listen.

Answer #5

“You spare the rod, spoil the child” That is probably the best solution. I know yo probably wont like it but it works. If you dont want to do that then send them in the corner or the closet.:)

Answer #6

You need to let them know you are the mother these young boys cant control you. And yes they know when they get away with things. Let them know that if they behave good they will get rewarded for things and if they are bad they wont get the specail things such as juice and cookies or any kind of sweets. My son sure learned pretty fast with that one. And If you let them win then they will always think that they will win. Remember you the mother not them, feel free to funmail me hope I helped.

Yours truly, Demika Ray

Answer #7

What you need is a good switch.

Answer #8

spank them it wont make them mental it will make them respect you!!

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