Should I condone my son's behavior?

When my son was in junior high he always had trouble with grades. He also recieved occasional referals, for minor things like tardys. He was never a very bad kid, he just didnt concentrate. He only had a small group of friends and he barely talked at all.

In high school he started getting a lot more friends. Kids came over our house all the time, and they usually smelled like cigarette smoke and alch/marijuana. I grew up in the 70’s so I detected the smell at once. He didnt really dress differently, he always favored hippy looking attire, but basically the same crap.

He started coming home really late after being out all night, his eyes were red and he began coughing a lot. I even found cigarette packages and one time a joint in his pockets. I even found a bowl under his bed when he was at school. I started getting calls from his attendance office about him skipping school

The weird thing is, his grades got better. He got accepted into honors classes and he was getting straight A’s and B’s. The marijuana seemed to have improved him. He would come home at 9 or later every night, obviously high, but his teachers still commented on how he did all his homework and ac’ed all his tests.

Me and his father confronted him about it and he openly admitted he smoked marijuana. He claimed it “calmed him down” and “helped him pay attention”. Me and my husband love his new social life, and we dont mind him coming home late. The only thing that bothers me is him skipping class, but he is getting a average 3.57 gpa, a 4.1 weighted I think. much better than I got in high school. He writes for a newspaper and he plays an instrument, he just is open about smoking pot. he said he hides it from police, and “isn’t a moron”.

I just dont know what to do, should I condone his behavior? He is getting good grades and is extremely polite to me and his father. He is polite to people at school and doesn’t get into trouble excluding the skipping classes. Does this sound normal? because it goes against everything I have heard. Please respond!

Wouldn’t I be a hypocrit to not condone his behavior when I tried marijuana when I was a kid> I NEED HELP!

Answer #1

what they don’t want the press to know is that smoking weed IS actually a calmer downer for kids who have add. ridalin doesn’t really help them concentrate. it’s side affects are far too over bearing to concentrate. What it really does to you is makes you not want to eat, not be able to sleep, become overly stressed, and you become extremely shy(for some people, other people it makes them talk and talk tand talk) I actually sudjest just letting him smoke it, but you should moderate it..and buy him some blessed eyedrops.

Answer #2

They just meant that he hides it from the cops, like if he was out and had it on him, he wouldn’t go flashing it around, he would keep it in his pocket. We hide ares in an unopened diet coke can. The top unscrews so you can put stuff it it, but the lid isn’t opened. We have water in a seperate part of the can too so when you pick it up and shake it, it sounds like coke. Anyways, I wouldn’t worry about it. He’s old enough to make choices on his own, and it’s just weed, it’s not like cocaine or meth. If it was that, I’d say hell no, he shouldn’t be doing that. But since it’s just pot. Let him

Answer #3

Dear dylansoul12, Of course you know this is all wrong or you wouldn’t have written your question. Since you say you know about POT then you know the dangers it posses to one’s health. It has more cancer causing agents then cigarettes, it can alter the hormones creating permanent damage…this is just to name 2. If he finds it calms him down then he has a medical problem that needs to be addressed. You asked does it sound normal “NO” it does not. Sue…good luck

Answer #4

I have a friend who’s son smokes pot, and she lets him for the same reason. She smoked pot when she was younger. Her kid is also the same, he was just about the top of his class, has a steady job, and has a group of friends. If he seems to be getting good grades, and since he openly admists to smoking pot, its maybe more reasonable to come to a compromise when dealing with curfew.

Just a suggestion.

Answer #5

Get him off it. Drugs mess kids up and it doesn’t matter why they are using it will mess things up for them later on. Maybe he has ADD and needs meds. get him a perscription that will calm him and help him focus. not drugs, you are his parents you sholdn’t allow that. I mean if he was stealing money from you or beating people up because it helped him focus youwouldn’t let him do it this shouldn’t be diffrent.

Answer #6

i meant our’s* not ares. sorry it’s late lol

Answer #7

You said he hides it from the cops…why would he be around cops? You are only around cops if you are doing something wrong. You said he did nothing wrong. Something doesn’t ring true here.

Answer #8

Yes, I’ll try that next. Thanks!

Answer #9

I don’t like pot personally, but I do tolerate our Son smoking it. He has severe IBS and IBD and it’s the ONLY thing that seems to help. MY Mother’s argument is that it is a “gateway” drug. I consider myself to be a good Mother and keep an open nose, eye and ear whenever he has friends over, comes home late, etc. I also periodically do room searches as well as car searches. I have NEVER found anything that indicates that he does any other drugs. After numerous surgeries and too many hospitalizations to count, we gave up on the meds and turned a blind eye. He had missed so much school due to being so sick, that we had to withdraw him and homeschool. He is now about to graduate with a 3.8 GPA and a 30 on his ACT. I’m not condoning doing anything illegal, and if you knew me, you would NEVER suspect that I do know of his pot smoking and turn a blind eye, but it’s heartbreaking to see your child in pain and not able to socialize due to an illness. If marijuana helps him and it does, then ok. He’s a good kid and stays out of trouble. What more can you ask for as a parent in this day and age?

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