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Please tell me what you think. I wrote it in 8 minutes so its not the best. Its the introduction to a story I am writing about 2 ex lovers and everything they've been through. Please dont take this.
She's loved him since the first day she ever laid eyes on him. You know, some people get into it so deep they dont even realize what theyre floating on, floating on cloud 9, floating on the ocean, floating where all of the love you both had to share and gave eachother, where nothing else mattered except just you and him. it can all be ruined by a mistake, a mistake that was never made to happen, there was no intention. but now only numbness is what she feels when the thoughts, sounds and images of him dance around and play over and over again in her head each and every day since. there isnt a day where she doesnt go by and think, maybe this is the day he'll come back, maybe its the day he chases after me and confess's his love for me all over again admitting what I did was a grave mistake. But still admit he wants all of me, each and every little piece. Maybe a way to figure things out and fix this broken relationship. Thats what she truly wants to hear. That day hasnt come by for two months and it never will. She's sunk to the bottom. Her search has ended, and it never will find a way back. Love, will never find a way back to the both of them.
be brave when it comes to emotion and describtion, reserch a lot of beauitufl voccabulary and use more beauitful words to make the reader feel like this is a beautiful thing, be more tragic describ what she sees when she looks into his eyes, make it beuaitiful then make it harrowing use better words and better discribtion dont get too carried away with emotion, because people love to read describtion aswell, make it a love and tradgedy poem combined
Hmmm, It's not bad.
I'm not sure where you are going to go with it though, you kind of kill any possiblility of them getting back together at the end
Sounds good !
