Should I move away from my semi-strict parents?

I had moved in with my g/f when I was 18.. I now have a beautiful daughter, of which my ex-girlfriend refuses to let me see. I result to writing my daughter letters, and have thousands dollars worth of saved up $ and gifts as well, that my now 2 yr old daughter, can not receive.. Because I wanted to do my own thing. However, you know.. my parents though mean as they could I be, only wanted to help me.. But they tried so hard to control me, that I didn’t care to listen to them any more..

Here is the scoop.. I live in Arizona now, and have a beautiful lovely woman, who On July 10th 2009, will be my wife. Now, I went to college.. And Lived in, and still live in, an appartment.. by my self, until a few months ago, when I allowed my sweetheart, Meghan. To move in with me.. My point is this, don’t rush into things hun.. I know its been a year.. But you may want to line up you’re priorities, as such.

Get your license, as soon as you can. This is a valuable asset for you! Work a Student job, or one you know that will flex around hours, and get it now during the summer, this way you have work history with them, when it comes down to the fall, and you go to college!

Next, work & go to school.. Though hard.. I know you can do it! Save up your money, and don’t blow it on sodas & McDonald’s like I did, because when it came down to buying my New Truck & Getting my apartment, when I moved out here to AZ.. It was hard, without enough money, and I had to work 3 times as hard, as if I had saved my money though.

Then, you can be accustomed to Life, as a scholar & worker, as a driven person, whom is responsable and can present a nice case to her parents, and say.

Look, Mom & Dad.. I am going to College, I have a job, I have my car and License, & I have my apartment and I am making it!

This will help you in finding your independence, and will show you’re parents you are capable of making it on your own, this will make it easier for them to trust you, you’re abilities, and you’re judgments.

At that point & Time, if you wish to allow your bf to move in with you. Then you have that right.. This way, you have control over the situation, and no one is the boss of your place EXCEPT for you! And if he turns out not to be the man you thought he was, then you still have all you need, your school, job, car, and place. With out worrying about losing them, or your parents being mad. OR it will work out gr8t.. and you 2 will share expenses, and will plan for buying a house, like Meghan & I are doing.

Good Luck! ~Ben~

You have the exact situation I did when I was growing up..I mean everything! I was involved with a guy at 18 and decided to move in with him.My parents hated it,mostly because they didnt like him. He was trying to isolate me from my friends and family. I know that part isnt like you but the whole parents not liking him is the same just for a different reason. Well my relationship with my parents did change they were hurt I moved out and pissed I did it. But after awhile it did smoothout between us. They still didnt like him but I suppose accepted that I made my choice. They kept praying that Id do the right thing and my dad said he always knew that when it came right down to it I would make the right chaice. I eventually moved back home and broke it off with the guy after a year, but being back at home reminded me why I wanted to leave so bad. I did something kinda crazy I started to date a guy and after a month and a half I eloped! Im still married for 6 years now and have 1 son about a year ago..the reason I bring this up is because, sometimes I get the what if’s and wonder if me not wanting to be at home had anything to do with the jumping into things..dont get me wrong it all worked out but what Im saying is I know its hard to be at home but dont let that dictate major steps in your life. If you move out make sure its not just to get away but if it is just for that reason try talking to your parents and tell them this is how you feel, you feel the only way you can make choices is to be on your own. I know they wont agree with “livng in sin” but this is how thier parenting is making you feel like you have too. You just need room to make choices and if they are bad ones(according to your parents) you need to make them and learn and they need to belive if they have raised right they need to trust that and that you will make the right choices.please let me know if you need more help Ill tell you all..

Like everyone else said, their house, their rules. As far as cutting you out of their will; parents threaten that all the time. My parents threatend to cut my brother out of their will when he hooked up with a gal they didn’t like. I saw their will and that brother is still in there. Unless your parents are quite well off being cut out probably wouldn’t be that big a deal anyway.

When I moved in with my GF while going to college I cut the apron strings. I knew my parents wouldn’t approve so I got a job so they couldn’t use money as a weapon. Even though my parents didn’t approve of my living arrangements they still insisted on paying my tuition and books for a couple of years which I didn’t expect but was nice of them.

If you are expecting financial help from your parents for college than you might want to play nice for a few months. I don’t think your parents are right but there is the old golden rule, “them that has the gold makes the rules.”

Good luck if you try littlelovecoach’s negotiating. My parents never negotiated, their position was always, “my way or the highway” though they did lighten up over the years. After I lived with my GF for 10 years they said we could sleep together when we visited.

this is a tough question.. if you truely love your boyfriend and believe that you 2 are destined to be with one another, and he can help support you w/o the help of your parents then go for it. this is something you need to sit down and talk to your parents and boyfriend about.. calmy and rationally.. dont scream that will get you nowhere.. trust me! i moved in w/my bf 2 weeks after i turned 18, and i moved back 8months later.. as much as i love my boyfriend i couldnt handle living with him.. we fought a lot more then b4, and after a while we couldnt stand to be around one another, now that i moved back home we’re back to being normal.. the plus side to living with a boyfriend is knowin you always have someone there to comfort you, and to cuddle with(one of my faves,lol).. just think this out in your head write out all the pro’s and con’s adn put it together for your parents as kinna like a purposal.. say things like, well if i do this, this will happen.. ive weighed out all my pro’s n con’s..i know what may or may not happen..

this isnt something people can just tell you yes you should or no you shouldnt. you have to listen to your heart and head..i know i didnt exactly answer your question but i hope this has helped out some what! msg me if u need any more help =]

Your parents are a little mistaken in this situation. Threats usually do the opposite of what they want. Yet they are correct on one item. Don’t move in with the guy even if it is with his parents. Save that for a later date.. say at least a year into the relationship so that the “honeymoon” phase has worn off. Then you will be able to test the mettle of your feelings truly and without the limmerance creating false impressions in your mind.

My advice would be to stay through the short time with your parents to secure your future. If it is love then you won’t have to worry. Love is forgiving. Love will see you through anything. But love won’t get you into college and away from your parent’s misguided control issues.

Good luck and try to think with your head as well as your heart.

I think your parents arent being much good parents at all but if you are there only girl I can understand them not wanting to let you have your own rules and do things your way even if you are a young adult. See it in your parents eyes if you only had one children your entire life and that child was a girl, think about how it would be with her growing up and being a young adult doing what your doing. Or if you had a couple of children but only one was a girl. I dont know if you are the only child or have other siblings but it could be very hard on your parents because you are making new changes and they have to learn to be able to accept them. Wait until you turn 18 then maybe your parents might give you a little less on the rules. Or not.

I would say depending on how much longer it is until you go to college if its just like a month or 2 and you can stand your parents until that time then stay in there house and follow there rules do things without asking and they may think well wow she has grown up matured and now she really is a young adult. Or you could move in with your boyfriend and his family. But you need to turn 18 first. After you go to college get a good paying job and get an apartment.

Congrats on turning 18 and I hope I kind of helped. If you ever need me the easist way to reach me is though my email at MustangHotty09@gmail.com

I am having problems with my computer or I would have responded for you eariler.

-Kristina-

move out. You shouldent have let them boss you around anyway. If you want to go to our boyfriend’s house, then just go! Dont even ask. If they say no, DO IT ANYWAY!

Dear bluebaby22, Well it seems you’ve asked everyone to comment on this question. It is good to have many opinions. I’m sure you probably won’t like mine. First of all screaming and yelling will get you absolutely no were. With behaviours like that no wonder they feel they have to control everything you do. As long as you are under their roof they have the right to tell you what to do. You want to be treated like an adult but you are acting like a child. First get a job and become financially responsible for yourself. Get your own drivers license and don’t worry about being in their will. If you do decide to move out do not live with your boyfriend or his family. You need to live and survive on your own. It seems that you are a little afraid of doing this and that is normal but you need to learn to be on your own so you can gain some independence in every type of relationship. Sue..good luck

I think you are a little young to be moving out under such circumstances, however, I am going through a similar situation with my parents except I moved home for conveniences with school and work (and of course the bf) but I went over a contract with them prior to moving home. They treat me like a child and I have threatened to move out since day one I moved back. I figured, if they are not going to accept me for who I am and my bf( who I have been with for 2 years, known for 4), Ill just move out and I am working on the process of getting a place with him. However, I am 5 years older than you and from experiences from back when I was 17/18 years old. It is not worth moving out because you both are young. What if he is not the one for you. I understand that you and your bf are both frusterated because of your parents, but sometimes it is because they know what is best for you. If you are going to college, I suggest you to live on campus or even get an apartment near campus with friends. Your bf will be able to visit you and you will have freedom. But moving in with someone that young not knowing if you will be with him forever is risky.

Best of luck and I hope everything works out for the best for the both of you.

don’t move in with your boyfriend. you’re 18, you are still very young whether you believe it or not. I am 22, my parents are still telling me what to do because I live under their roof. They don’t like my boyfriend whom I have been with for 5 years now. You don’t see it now, but you are going to have to depend on them in the future more than you think now. Stick it out a little longer…you will NOT regret it.
Your parents are looking out for you. Being sexually active at your age is young, but lets face it…it’s not fair to think your parents should HAVE to be okay with that. You should talk to them, reason with them…I promise you things will only get worse if you move in with your boyfriend. It will destroy any relationships with your parents!

your parents are old fashioned. tell your mom you didnt have sex and your waiting til marriage, you love god and you dont believe in it. if shes like yaya w.e say :mom it really hurts me that my own mother doesnt believe me i was taught to respect myyself and i do. Just because i am growing up and becoming a woman does not mean i am sexually active i respect myself to do such athing. I am a woman now and can make decisions why cant you be happy for me and accept somebody that is a part of my life and makes me happy If you loved me you would follow what jesus what like somebody who loves everybody and accepts them. what would make you happy? me not being with him? you cant be happy for me? I love you both so much but you dont know how hard it is.. how am i suppose to prepare and be ready to take lifes challenges if im still being babysat and treated like a kid and am given everything on aplater. I have boundarys like achild and i cannot see somebody just to hang out go to the park watch movies and be happy with? you need to let me live a little, dont worry i wont run away If thats what your worried about I love you both more than anything and nothings going to change that. But if you love me, you will be happy for me and what i love too. i hope i helped you hun all the best

You’ll be fine once you go to college and get out of the house. Just keep every relationship as stable as you can until then. But the other chick is right.. moving in with your boyfriend is a horrible idea because if you think your parents hate him now, what would it be like then? Good luck

Hey I only just saw your comment asking me to answer your question, I’m so sorry! I hope what I say can still be relevant and help you out. Believe me, I know what it’s like to disagree with your parents on something that is extremely important to you. It sucks when it seems like they just won’t budge no matter what you say, and no matter how hard you try. But I’m guessing that because you’re hesitant to move out, your parents do matter to you and you do care about them. Think about it- they probably feel exactly the same as you do. They don’t want to have to turn their backs to you and you don’t want to have to cut yourself off from them and move out- so maybe you’ve got to change how you’re talking to them about this. Honestly, I think it’s better not to move out. If you are lucky enough to have found a guy you think you will spend the rest of your life with, I know you can wait until you’re older and have a steadier life to move in (that’s what I had to do!). One of my best friends moved in with the love of her life at 19, and 3 years later realized he wasn’t the guy for her anymore- when they parted ways she literally had nowhere to go. You might want to reconsider just jumping for this opportunity and try to compromise with your parents. Show them you value their opinion, you want to work it out. Prove to them you’re mature by really letting them talk, and consider what they say to you. Maybe you can promise not to move in or jump into anything with your boyfriend until you’ve gotten through a few years of college- or until you have a steady job. Show them you will work for what’s important to you and they’re much more likely to give you some room to learn your own lessons while still being a part of their lives. Good luck- sorry this is so long but funmail me if you need anything! Sorry again about not replying right away

if you love your boyfriend move in with him but what will happen if you break up will he kick you out of his house then where you will go? just think about it

If you are going to college in the fall move into the dorms, once you are in college and in the dorms you parents have no control over you. About your liscense, you are 18 and can legally get one on your own so go for it,

I see that it has been 9 months since you asked this question so I was wondering if your situation is still the same or what you decided to do? I have read a lot of the answers and I just wanted to know what you did with all this advice.

If you have to scream and cry and beg…and basically “stomp your feet”, you are not old enough to be considering any of this. Grow up.

First off You should have stayed in school you can’t use the correct words. If you can’t use correct english how do you know anything about life..what a zippedhead!

You are caught between a rock and a hard place. They feel the way they do, because they dont approve of you and your bf being intimate. Parents can make life hell for teens when its something they feel strongly against.

Its true..you are living under their roof, so you need to abide by their rules as hard as it may be. Going against your parents will only cause more resentment for you and your bf, so i think moving in with your bfs family is NOT a good idea at this point. Look at it this way. You’ll be away at college this fall, so you wont be dealing with all the stress of being at home. It will make you see things differently by being in a new environment. Maybe in time they will come to realize how much you two love each other, and finally learn to accept him, but for now try not being too defiant.

It will all work out I was 17 and just got out of a bad relationship and my parents disaproved of him but I got married when I was 18 I am 21 now I love him so much. Your parents will learn to deal with it. Your almost 18 ! I learned that you cant live for your parents. I tried but mom passed away dad is dating already and I would be alone if I did not have my husband! So follow your heart they are your parents they will come around

I believe your parents are very scared for you. They are using the will to keep you safe and I believe they just want the best for you. At 18 years of age, I know you feel you are grown and should be allowed to do whatever you would like. But, I ask you to think real hard about your decisions today, because it will most definitely affect you tomorrow. I know you say you are in love, but it is when you can say no, and he waits, that you will see what true love is.

The best option would be to try and reason with them..i’m sure you have tried but calmly try to explain to them that you are very soon becoming of age and should have the right to make some of your own decisions. It seems they care about your well being but, you are nearly an adult and they have to respect that. Since you say that you have a steady-longterm relationship it wouldn’t be such a bad idea. But under the wrong circumstances it can be..if you are jobless, still in school, and are not ready for such responsiblility then you may need to wait it out, as long as they absoulutely won’t budge.

I am a parent of a daughter who has the same issues as you. My daughter finally is beginning to listen to me after many years of not. She felt the same way, thought that this “guy” was it and was in love etc etc etc. Needless to say if the guy does not respect you or your parents it will be a terrible situation for all involved. Parents were teenagers once themselves and although we think we know differently and it is different, it isnt.

Put alot of thought into something before jumping, weigh pros and cons, have the discussion with a pastor, minister etc. Good luck and god bless.

I believe your parents are very scared for you. They are using the will to keep you safe and I believe they just want the best for you. At 18 years of age, I know you feel you are grown and should be allowed to do whatever you would like. But, I ask you to think real hard about your decisions today, because it will most definitely affect you tomorrow. I know you say you are in love, but it is when you can say no, and he waits, that you will see what true love is.

Yes you should move out and live with your boyfriend Rorri Peaton in December 2009 and he will protect you from your ex boyfriends Tommy Reitz Gavin Ayers Rob blanssentt and Billy Gulliano they have no right cheating on you and Rorri Peaton is exetlley the right boyfriend for you because you and him don’t smoke and he doesn’t drink he said tell your mom you want to move out and live with ROrri Peaton

How will you support one another, have jobs, recieve an education and what of chidlren, do you want to bring chidlren into this world where they/adn you live a mediocre life becuase you could not wait to recieve an education and money to supprt them? My boyfriend`s parents had the same problem and married for her to get away, with her lack of education, and him needing to support his family on his small wages, they now live frustrated lives with telemarketeres stalking them for them to pay their bills.