Do you agree or disagree that it's ok to go through your partners phone or vice versa?

I know in my relationship my boyfriend hordes his phone and freaks if i even touch it, but he takes my phone all the time and goes through it like its his right. i believe it should be either equal i should be able to go through his too, or we both should have some privacy.

Answer #1

yo guys should both has privacy basicly he cant do that let him freak if you touch his fone he gotta learn that if he thinks he has the right show him you have the right too

Answer #2

It’s not right at all, I would kill my boyfriend if he went through my phone >:| He should definitely start respecting your privacy.

Answer #3

I don’t think either person has a right to go through the other person’s phone.

Answer #4

Sounds freaky. I think you’re right to want equal rights in the situation, but if it was me I’d just want a little respect and privacy.

Answer #5

exactly i have nothing to hide but he always finds something that i said to someone or who i am talking to that is wrong but i am not even aloud to touch his? and when i ask him to he deletes all his messages.

Answer #6

thank i completely agree. it not the point i want to go through his phone cuz i don’t honestly care but i don’t agree it to be ok for him to sneak my phone and go through mine,

Answer #7

i know and it just really pisses me off getting yelled at for stupid stuff like talking to guy friends who i was friends with b4 even meeting him. it like don’t you think if i wanted to be with them i wouldn’t be with you.

Answer #8

i know and the things is i am afraid to go through his phone. i mean i trust him but at the same time if he’s so protective over his phone their must be something in their or someone he’s talking to he doesn’t want me to know about.

Answer #9

yeah its scary cuz you never know

Answer #10

Well my advice is not to live in a situation where you are worried about it. If someone has something major to hide, they will and you probably won’t find it going through their phone.

Answer #11

My boyfriend used to be the same way. I ended up just “punishing’ him every time he went through my phone and wouldn’t let me see his. “sure you can see my phone… oh you won’t let me see yours, ok then no sex tonight then” he learned his lesson really fast.

Answer #12

haha that a really good idea but he likes other “things” better so i was use that on him lol

Answer #13

Sounds like possibly a control issue

Answer #14

Yes, I think it should be equal. And I think that neither partner should check his partners phone secretly.

So make him choose… that either you can see his phone or he can’t see yours anymore. But never steal his and look secretly. If he takes yours secretly, kick his butt or make a scene…

Answer #15

haha thats an excellent idea =) and even if i wanted to secretly look i couldn’t cuz its literally clung to him either in his hand or in his pocket he never leaves it out.

Answer #16

yea i think he’s insecure or something cuz he works alot and long hours 10 hour shift 5 days a week, maybe he thinks i am doing something or he is going to catch me doing something idk. i pretty certain that i go to work and come home and on my days off i’m home. i don’t see whats to worry about.

Answer #17

i agree that none have the right to go thru their partners phone. to each its own………

Answer #18

It should definitely be equal. I don’t think either should have the right to go through each other’s phone but if you both wish to be able to go through each other’s phone then it should definitely be equal.

Answer #19

I’d be more concerned about the fact that I need to … if I feel the need to look through my partner’s phone, then something isn’t quite right in the trust department.

Answer #20

yeah i completely agree. i don’t find the need to go through his phone even if i were aloud to, but he must’d trust me if he had to secretly take my phone and go through it.

Answer #21

thats what i’m saying, its like i respect your privacy you need to respect mine

Answer #22

It should definatly be equal. And you should get to choose if you want him to go through it because i know sometimes i dont want people going through my phone even tho i have nothing to hide.

Answer #23

I think it really depends on the context of why he/you want to go through each others phones. If it’s just to be nosy then no harm or fowl, if it’s a lack of trust then some things need to be discussed in your relationship. However neither of you should have anything to hide so it shouldnt be a big deal if you look through each others phones. I personally have no issue with a partner searching through my phone, email, facebook or whatever b/c I know that I have nothing to hide from them and when they look it will only reinforce the fact that I am trust worthy.

Answer #24

Agree, I might suggest taking a look at what the “real” issues are in the relationship, cause somethin’ aint right.

Answer #25

I think when your in a serious relationship with someone you should be able to trust them and going through their phone shows that you really don’t! I don’t think it’s right that he doesnt let you go through his phone (not that you should) but then he can go through your phone? it’s not right. Obviously if he freaks out when you even touch his phone he is hiding something from you and there is stuff he really doesn’t want you to see. Trust is a big part of a relationship and I don’t think that going through your boyfriend/girlfriends phone shows any sign of trust. Going through your partners phone is not right, unless y’all both agree that it’s ok and have no problem with it!

Answer #26

agreed, and i guess my main point is like hey if you want to look through my phone just ask, i don’t have anything hide. honestly i text maybe a total of 3 ppl one including him and 90% of my text are from him anyway so why he wants to sneak idk.

Answer #27

i just really don’t find the need or care to go through his phone. in fact i’m usually more interested in who is on his contact list or who actually is texting him then i am in the context of what he is texting. and when he’s texting someone i just ask who he is texting and he tells me thats good enough for me. espeically since he’s a really bad liar lol

Answer #28

I think that in a partnership there should be enough trust between you that you wouldn’t feel the need to filter through each other’s personal lives like that. However, if there is enough suspicion that he/she may be cheating or involved in something else that you don’t approve of, then what I would do is confront the person first. If he/she denies it, let it go for maybe a week or so. If you find evidence of this or the issue doesn’t seem to stop, then maybe, MAYBE it might be acceptable to take a peek and confirm/deny your suspicions. I hope this helps. :)

Answer #29

Also, try telling your boyfriend that you don’t appreciate that he is being hypocritical and rude when it comes to phones. If he is hiding something then he isn’t a very good boyfriend, sorry. And he shouldn’t touch your things without your consent.

Answer #30

i did multiple times, cuz he took it and went through it and then freaked about me talking to guy friend, who is gay mind you. and when i said well let me see you phone he yelled me worse. if i knew having a phone was going be such a huge ordeal i would have continued going without one.

Answer #31

No its not ok!!

Answer #32

Personally… I think that neather have the right and or the athoratie to do so, but that would be up to you. But seeing as it is showing suspision and lack of trust it usually causes a fight so I probably wouldnt if I were you.

Answer #33

Well personally I think it wrong, its like saying you have no trust in them what so ever! I mean looking at their pictures is OK, but everything else no! If you think something going on just ask. And that goes for both the people in the relationship.

Answer #34

i agree completely. and even though he steals my phone i still don’t take his secretly or do i ask him to see his phone. i respect his privacy i even have like his facebook password and stuff and i don’t go through it. its almost like even though i am not going to go through any of that its reassuring to me that he has nothing to hide cuz he trust me with having it ya know.

Answer #35

not reallly cuz even though your dating stuff on your phone is personal and they shouldnt look though it

Answer #36

It’s not okay, if the other person gives you permission then I guess its fine. Would you like your parents snooping through your phone?

Answer #37

um i’m 20,so i wouldn’t care its not like if they found something they didn’t like that they could do anything anyway haha. and i don’t go through his phone, he goes through mine so why would you ask me that?

Answer #38

i think it should be equal as well but if hes given you a reason to i think that you should or you should just dump him!

Answer #39

i’m not dumping my bf of 3.5 years over a phone issue its called working it out and moving forward. not every issue between a bf and gf needs to end a relationship

Answer #40

There’s no general rule about this, Kirsten. It’s like lots of other boundary issues: Do you leave the bathroom door open when you’re sitting on the toilet? How touchy-feely are you in public? Do you always know where your partner is and what they are doing? Do you keep separate accounts?

The important thing is that mutually acceptable rules be agreed between you, openly and clearly. The trick is in how to arrive at those rules when your individual inclinations don’t match. That requires good communication, a spirit of sacrifice (not just compromise), a healthy measure of both trust (binding you) and respect for each other’s autonomy (distinguishing you), and patience.

Answer #41

i completely agree with everything you just said lol, and we agree on all things like keeping like facebook, and emails private, and the whole knowing where your at thing, the phone thing i don;t get if it is clear that we keep our emails and site private why is it so hard for him to stay away from my phone when i show him that respect, as someone commented even if i was hiding something which i’m not but you wouldn’t find it on my phone considering i text maybe 3 ppl and thats including him and i don’t have calling on my phone.

Answer #42

Ah! See, this explains the whole thing: He’s out of his mind!

Answer #43

its ok if both parts agree that they are ok with it

Answer #44

I think that in a relationship when you or your partner start digging through phones or purses and wallets means there is a lack of trust. I went through that a period of time when I was first with my boyfriend. Every chance I got I would go through his phone to see if he was talking to other girls. And you know what I realized? when you are with someone who you know truly adores you trust isnt an issue, but when you are with someone who makes you feel like you are not the only one then thats when problems occur. Eventually I left him becuase I didnt like feelling that way. And then after 6 months I gave him another chance. But I am glad I left him becuase i showed him that I dont allow any and everything. Good thing he changed.

Answer #45

I confronted him, and told him he can go through my phone any time he’d like because i wasn’t hiding anything, but he had to hand his phone over, hasn’t touched my phone since. also i never go through his phone because he has a right to privacy too, but when he’s texting when i’m around i’ll non chalently ask who he’s texting and he’ll tip his phone so i can see, i never read in the text though, just the name of who he is texting, and i do the same for him when he ask.

Answer #46

why is he out of his mind he still like sex, but he enjoys the other “things” better cuz its more personal to him and he can just relax and enjoy. i think it completly understandable and i’m the same way haha

Answer #47

If they have permission go for it if not then no everyone is entitled to their own privacy.

Answer #48

He shouldn’t have to.

You guys have trust issues that need to be sorted out.

Answer #49

it depends on mutual understanding…but if he can see yours… you can also do the same…

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