22yr old, virgin, reserved girl...

I’m 22. Never had my first real kiss yet. Am virgin by choice, though. Most people don’t think my hardcore music taste, tattoos and 12 piercings fit the description of a virgin-by-choice, but that’s me.

I am a hardcore rock fan with hardcore standards. Not going to budge on the sex issue.

My problem here is that for some reason, I can talk, dream, write about love, relationships, sex, etc all day long. My “type” in guys, its all about personality for me and looks always come second for me. But I am EXTREMELY SHY. Crazy, unbelievably shy. I can text, email, and talk on the phone for hours on end, completely comfortable with a guy.

If we get to a first date, I clam up so bad that there’s just no hope. When I was 20, I went on a date with a guy, and we had a few kisses on the lips, light ones, but I couldn’t kiss him any further. I guess it was a combo of being way too shy, too nervous I’m going to do it wrong, or…I don’t know what. It seems like as an aspiring writer, I can write about all situations, desire to be in them, but when I get into a dating situation, I guess I freak out inside, like it’s cool to want and talk about dating but then when I get into it its like “this cant happen to me”.

Since I am so shy and reserved, the one time I was on a date where the guy tried sitting behind me on a park bench, kiss my neck, rub my shoulders, I was stiffer than a board. It wasn’t that I didn’t like him or anything, I just have some serious issues I guess.

I am a fun-loving, affectionate person and hand holding, pda’s are something that I want. I am able to hold hands with a date but that’s it. I can barely look them in the eyes. I don’t know what to do to be able to open up. How in the world do I get what’s on the inside (and how I am outside of dating situations) to come out and show guys who I really am?

And the thought of meeting someone anywhere other than real life actually freaks the hell out of me…if a guy looks my way my eyes drop to the ground out of shyness.

Answer #1

Your completly normal… Its ok to be nervous! I am the same way. Im 18 though and I want to try and wait till I get married. You say that by your image people dont expect you to be a virgin by choice… People are going to judge everyone! I get called a slut and people think that I lie saying that imn still a virgin cause im a cheerleader but I really am and I think that its neat that you are!!! As for the shyness I would say start out with making more guy friends..I did that and that has helped me a great deal! Having more guy friends kinda helps to take the pressure off of talking to other guys. I would start there and just work up slowly. Another thing is there will be a guy out there that will make you feel totally comfortable when he is around so with having that you wont feel as shy. My boyfriend was the one that helped me with that. I met him and he was the first one that I didn’t feel shy around. I hope this works…Keep your head up (even when a guy looks at you. look at him and flash him a HUGE smile) That could always start up a new friendship

I hope that this helps let me know how it goes :)

Answer #2

Alcohol doesn’t change who I am. All it does it make me want to listen to music harder and louder. lol

Answer #3

Am still looking for advice. Thanks

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