22yr old, virgin, reserved girl...

I’m 22. Never had my first real kiss yet. Am virgin by choice, though. Most people don’t think my hardcore music taste, tattoos and 12 piercings fit the description of a virgin-by-choice, but that’s me.

I am a hardcore rock fan with hardcore standards. Not going to budge on the sex issue.

My problem here is that for some reason, I can talk, dream, write about love, relationships, sex, etc all day long. My “type” in guys, its all about personality for me and looks always come second for me. But I am EXTREMELY SHY. Crazy, unbelievably shy. I can text, email, and talk on the phone for hours on end, completely comfortable with a guy.

If we get to a first date, I clam up so bad that there’s just no hope. When I was 20, I went on a date with a guy, and we had a few kisses on the lips, light ones, but I couldn’t kiss him any further. I guess it was a combo of being way too shy, too nervous I’m going to do it wrong, or…I don’t know what. It seems like as an aspiring writer, I can write about all situations, desire to be in them, but when I get into a dating situation, I guess I freak out inside, like it’s cool to want and talk about dating but then when I get into it its like “this cant happen to me”.

Since I am so shy and reserved, the one time I was on a date where the guy tried sitting behind me on a park bench, kiss my neck, rub my shoulders, I was stiffer than a board. It wasn’t that I didn’t like him or anything, I just have some serious issues I guess.

I am a fun-loving, affectionate person and hand holding, pda’s are something that I want. I am able to hold hands with a date but that’s it. I can barely look them in the eyes. I don’t know what to do to be able to open up. How in the world do I get what’s on the inside (and how I am outside of dating situations) to come out and show guys who I really am?

And the thought of meeting someone anywhere other than real life actually freaks the hell out of me…if a guy looks my way my eyes drop to the ground out of shyness.