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worried about STI's

Hi,

I am 23 male and have been with the same girlfriend for 3 years who is 20. All sex has always been un-protected and about 4 weeks ago I noticed an off putting smell from my girlfriend vigina before we had sex. I have read many comments about this from a girls perspective but I am concerned as I don’t know how to discuss it with my girlfriend and recommend her to go doctors.

My girlfriend is kind of shy and is easily offended even with the slightest comment and as I don’t know how to approach her about it I thought I’d do some research myself to try and work out a way of getting to the bottom of the problem.

At first I thought it was just an off day, maybe didn’t shower since sex the day before and have read some peoples comments saying its the semen causing the smell. So the first time I didn’t think a great deal of it. Now 4 weeks have past and the smell is still there, I don’t know if she has noticed it or if she thinks its me during sex but either way I have noticed it and don’t know how to approach the situation.

I am worried for my girlfriend but also myself incase it’s an STI. I havn’t been with anyone else but my girlfriend for the last 3 years and if it is an STI would this suggest she has been unfaithful as I have had my suspicions about that for some time now.

I am nervous about getting my self checked out to be on the safe side but I need a way of suggesting to my girlfriend that we both go together as a couple or something like that. I’m just worried she will freak out and have a go at me about ‘why do you need a check up?’ ‘have you been sleeping around?’ its hassle I can’t deal with but want to deal with the problem.

Any advice would be great

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Answer #1

thank you both for the comments so far. I agree suggesting we both get tested is the right way to do it and I want to get tested anyway just becuase we do have un-protected sex. The comment about getting STI’s even with the same partner is a little more assuring as I was worried about a whole different trust issue as well if one of us was tested positive for something. Being a paranoid guy is a whole differnent issue though so wont get into that here as my main concern at the moment is trying to get help with approaching my girlfriend.

The suggestion about saying its ‘different’ rather than ‘bad’ is good but I know that will lead to the question ‘what do you mean its different?’ again awkward situation.

I have tried making suggestions in a none serious way and I am running out of ideas so if any one else has an idea on how I can bring this up with my girlfriend that would be great. As I say she is very shy and defensive in general and writing this im thinking maybe there is no easy way around this.

We watched a TV program about general health last week and there was some tests for STI’s so I brought it up then in a joking way saying ‘thats interesting, the fact we could have an STI and not know about it maybe we should get checked out together’ but even that didnt go down well and instantly jumped to a conclusion that I’ve been sleeping around.

Thank you again for the comments about what it could be and if anyone else has any ideas on how to approach my girlfriend they would be appreciated.

A

Answer #2

its prob urinary tract infection - comes from frequent sex or just if your immune system is a bit low and you have sex or something ut also if you wear different type of underwear and get hot and sweat down their - v common and every girl gets it at some time. most girls who don’t get treatment think there is no treatment but actual it is very easy - just get thrush treatment - sells over counter at chemist - tablet for like 3 days or even cream for a day - v simple.

to bring it up is tricky and you sound v nice so I applaud you for that! but you might have to bight the bullet - could you say something different like she smells/tastes different - DON”T say ‘bad’ say ‘different’. Or say that you notice she is more uncomfortable than usual when you r down there etc… tricky but when she gets to 25 she will realise its just a part of life.

Oh and you can also get it if you wash down there with soap, bubble bath etc - her parts should only be washed with normal water - no chemicals etc - so maybe take a looong shower together and get stuck in! - now that can’t be unpleasant!!

Answer #3

She could have an infection. You might want to suggest that she buy a vagisil screening kit. They really do work in helping to identify certain infections, and they are really easy to use. If she is having sex then she should be going to the GYN for a Pap Smear at least once a year to be checked for various things. You need to insist that she go and get it checked out, but dont mention cheating or STI’s. That will hurt her feelings and put a damper on your relationship. If you are worried about STI’s then you need to be tested. If you test positive THEN you need to talk to her about STI’s and cheating.

Answer #4

Maybe if you guys shower together, you can help soap her body a bit and start talking about her and how you admire her body. Talk about how you like how things are going with you and her and you love her. Then act like you’ve just thought of an idea, say that since the two of you have unprotected sex all the time, that you should at least have an annual STI checkup. And go all like, “Don’t girls have to have a pap smear every two years when they’re sexually active too?”… See what she says, but try to maintain the fact that you want both of you to continue to have healthy sex. Maybe after that in a few hours, whenever the time is convenient, suggest to her an appointment date you two can go together to.

Answer #5

it doesnt nesessarily mean shes cheating to find out for sure (if she has an sti/std) shell need to get checked for them help her out by getting tested as well and you both can get tested for them together a lot of stis generally have no noticible symptome, so if she has one, she might not even know it also it could be her diet, possibly …things like alcohol, drugs and chocolate will make her taste and smell worse down there, her cycle also varies the taste/smell but to find out whats wrong, suggest you both get tested for sti/stds together and make sure you have prtected sex you can still get an sti/std even if you havent had any other partners espacially if one of you has a coldsore so practice safe sex alos she could have an infection to see if thats the case though, shell also need to get it checked out

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