Wife tried things with past boyfriends that won't do with me. HELP

My wife has done several sexual acts with her past boyfriends (anal, 69, etc.) that she refuses to do with me. She says that she was in a “different frame of mind then” and was more intent on pleasing her boyfriends than doing things that she actually wanted to do. As for anal, she tried it twice, and only twice, so I can kind of understand and forgive that. But 69: she not only did it with just about every guy other than me, but often offered it to them, versus anal that was offered to her and she simply caved in.

Should I feel slighted – and I do – that I am not getting the same consideration and pleasures that she has given to other men. This is really upsetting me as I waited until marriage to have sex.And, no, I am not a Christian, I just wanted sex to be really special and just with my true love – which she is, but I have always wanted to try a few sexually adventurous things and now am being told “No” by my wife who has already tried them with other men.

I am feeling very cheated and hurt. We have had several conversations about this over the last 5 years of our marriage and seemed to reach no satisfactory conclusion for either of us. She is resentfull that I do not simply accept that “she is a different person now,” and I am resentfull that she gave these men something that she is not willing to give to the man that is supposedly the only man in her life.

She says that she NEVER thinks of other men when she is with me, but it seems to me if that were true, then when these sexually adventurous things came up she would be willing to try them with me, instead of thinking of bad experiences she had in the past.

Answer #1

hi epimp, I understand your feelings, but also think that you should stop this self-torturing yammering immediately. Marriage is not for wild sex, it is for safe life, children etc., and you have a marriage now. Your youth life was calm, because you are a calm person. If you weren’t, you have also had the same adventures as your wife had, since she was not so calm that time. But noe she is as calm as you were all the time. This is why she married you. It is very silly to be jealous for a former life of anybody. Think about that how many persons are sailing around the world with nice girls and doing them continuously day and night, it is not possible to envy all of them; you have to be satisfied by your own life and own nature, as I am, or anybody else is. Beleive me, if your nature will change to adventurous you realize it very soon; you will find yourself between 69 and anal actions, etc. Till your nature is calm just live a calm life, and forget about your wife’s former adventures.

Answer #2

you married her knowing her past beleiving that you would get what her past lovers got and that was your fault for setting yourself up for a possibly disasterous marriage. deep down inside you’re freaky and her freak days are over. and now you are trying to bring two different polarities to come together and that’s not likely to happen so quickly, she doesn’t want you to see her as a freaky one so in this case you will need without a doubt another 10 years together with her before she wll begin to open up the way you want her to. If I were you I would go and buy a glass dildo and hide it untill she gets drunk and falls asleep, place the dildo in hot baby oil and slip it under the cover, she will feel it and respond but to her it will be a dream even when she wakes up she will still think it’s a dream. when she wakes up and realizes everything, you can bet the next night will be different and better for you both.

Answer #3

It’s not that she means to cheat you and hurt you, she just thinks your hideous looking and have a small penis. Also, you shouldn’t have been such a prude your whole life, you know the motto, snooze you lose. But worry not, just get a hooker for some std-filled fun!

Answer #4

I totally agree with this guy! I am still an adventurous guy and my wife agreed we would do some really adventurous things in our life. I’ve asked her to do anal, sex in the woods, car, etc…the answer is always the same “NO! I want to feel loved and not just wanted.” I try the romatic approach and then pursue these subjects again and am told “I just want to cuddle”. I find it funny that my wife can tell me every little thing she did to every guy and how she did it just for them and liked the thrill of getting them off; while at the same time telling me I am the only guy that has ever cared for her in or out of bed and got her off in bed. I feel cheated because I want to try these things but am not allowed to. And being this guy she loves and cares for so much, why won’t she let me while letting the slime balls in her past go two days straight with her trying what ever they wanted to.

Seems like a jip to me. I feel like I am her security blanket straighting out her life and kids while mine gets more and more boring, mondane, and hopless.

Answer #5

I know how you fell player, because sometimes my wife turns me down for sex, when she admitted to a one night stand in her past life. Now the key word here is “admitted” because women no matter how open they are with there schenanigans, still hold back from exposing all the secrets. Because of financial and legal repercussions, you may not feel so comfortable getting those desires outside your marriage. My best advice I can think of is to take control of your own sexual desires (aka dick discipline) which in essence would keep your energies focused on other hobbies. Maybe you take an interest in fishing, art, reading, working out or just playing dominoes with the fellas. But don’t put your wife on a pedastal, and thiese issues can be brought up matter of factly. Women do not respect guys they can control sexually.

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