wife cheating!!! what do I do from here?

ok here is my story and any advise will be very helpfull… I am 27 and my wife is 31 and I just found out she cheated on me… she is a very beautifull woman and I love her to death… when I met her I had never been in a relationship I was 18 and she was 22 she had 2 kids already we have been together eversence and have had a son of our own. I have never asked her to work I guess I beleive in the old ways I watched my mother struggle my whole life so I desided I would work and pay all the bills and she could just be a at home mom and wife.. I have always tried to give her what she wanted and needed,, just the other day I was looking at the txt message logs for me and her and I noticed she had been txting the same number all night long and it started as soon as I left for work,,, I called her and said who you be txtin all night? I see you be txting but it dosnt say the number your txting? ofcourse she said it was 1 of her female friends… but here is the kicker I told her!!! I do know the number and its my friends number ??? I then told her I had a print out of every txt they sent and I know every thing!!! she fell for it… and began to tell me it was just dirty talk and didnt mean nothing… so I took it a bit further I said then whats with the pictures you sent him? she replied she dont have nothing to say she is just a idiot… I knew I had nothing but made her think I knew all but told her I wanted to see how honest she could be with me… I did however know that it has been going on only for a week… she told me she didnt know how it got started but it did and she was sorry… so I confronted my friend in the same manner…I KNOW EVERY THING attitude… he explaind that he was sorry bout the txt and pictures I said ok I heard there was more and im trying to be an adult and dont want to go to jail so spill it all!! then he told me that he did make a trip to my home 1 morning but he couldnt stay hard so nothing happnd… I told him if he knew what was best he would stop lying to me but he stuck to his story… with this new info I confronted my wife and she had the same story… I remind you that once I got the first hint I did not give them a chance to talk to get any story together I took her with me to confront him as well she staid in the car and had no idea what was said… I SHOULD BE A DECTECTIVE HUH? now my questions are as follows..

  1. should I beleive there storiy?
  2. do I try to work it out? remember she was my first and I do love her very much 3)will I ever be able to trust her again?
  3. if I did divorce her would she be intitled to spousal support?
  4. she said it was cause I worked all nite am I wrong in any way for trying to provide for my family?
  5. if we do divorce do I have any visitation rits for the kids that are not my blood?
  6. would I be an idiot to take her back and think it would never hapen again?

again any answers would help.. im crushed already so be as up front and honest as you can you cant hurt the situation any more than it is already’’

thanks in advance and have a blessed day

Answer #1

first off not bad on the detective skills lol… its a fall back plan lol

  1. umm their story they may or may not have said “here is our story if we are caught” and if their story is true… what would have happened if he was hard??? the intent was there… and thats an issue…

  2. working it out… im not a fan of cheating… if a girl cheats on me… she is lucky too get 2 words I will discontinue any contact with her… but I do not have the same ties you have… such as a child and my opinion could change in a seriouse situation…

  3. my current g.f has made a lot of mistakes… and I have a terrible time trusting her I dont show her… but when I know shes at a friends I sit home and worry what she may be doing… it kills me… and it could happen too you… depends on how easy you trust people.

  4. I don’t know

  5. tell her to go get a job… so you can cut on your hours… if she argues slightly about a job… tell her your gunna move into a smaller house… if she doesnt like that… tell her it looks like you need to continue working late… she may go get a job and you can both work a reasonable amount and it will work out…

  6. I don’t know

  7. once a cheater always a cheater??? one time shame on her??? 2 times shame on you??? anytime after that you will be the idiot for sure… everyone will talk about how you have taken your wife back after cheating on you 3 times… and you will be laughed at…

I am not a counselor in any way… thats all my opinion if any of it is offensive or un helpfull I appologize

Answer #2

I think in order for this to work out you would both need to see a counselor.. love is what it is .. if you love her enough and she loves you and regret what she did then no you wont be an idiot .. but this cant be worked out just between you to .. also you wouldnt have any rights to her 2 children .. that is if she wanted to be a b* tch about it… but that decision is up to her .. unless you have adopted them as your own .. you are not responsible .. sorry I cant help much .. but I think you doing what is needed to take care of your family is amazing … maybe she is just to spoiled .. but I see where she is coming from … my ex was always gone to work on the rigs and I got lonley and did simalur things.. I never once actually met any guys … but as you can see it didnt work with us.. you just have to be strong and keep your gaurd up .. but dont resent her .. just slowly let her build your trust back .. I beleive you can make this work if you are both willing to do what it takes

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