cheating wife. Doing the right thing?

14 mos ago my wife admitted to an affair. It was with a friend of mine whom she had seen 30-40 times over a month and a half. They were together when I was at work, out of town, asleep and even once she left a club to be with him while I wondered where she went. She was even with him one time when my appendix burst and could not make it to the hospital for 9 hours to sign papers even though I was begging her to come. After admitting this, she acted like a complete psycho. Suicide (fake) attempts. Staying out all night and blaming me daily for the affair. We were high school sweethearts had been married 18 years and together 24. We have 2 teen children that do not want us together now and we have filed for divorce as of about 6 mos. ago. During our marriage I heard about how I was ugly, dealt with physical abuse about once a month, and would never find someone like her. Well, she LOOKED the way she did because of surgeries that I paid for. I worshipped this woman. She was my best friend and the most prescious thing in the world to me. We are well to do, she did not work and had everything any person could want except perhaps her sanity. I tried so hard to get over this but the blaming me for the affair did it to me. She would do NOTHING for me. I work a lot of hours but am home minutes after work. She cooked about once a month. Would NEVER do a stitch of my laundry. AND SHE DIDNT WORK! The problem..At face value, is it reasonable that I am divorcing her? Why do I hurt for her so badly as she begs for reconciliation that I cannot offer.