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Why is it easier for me to forgive/forget than my boyfriend?

When ever my boyfriend and I get into an argument I just like to walk out of the room and cool off and drop it. Just stop talking about it. If I do that I am over it in 30 minutes to an hour. But my boyfriend on the other hand keeps complaining and wont let things go. He will be in the room all on his own and just keeps arguing. Then claims he cant drop it cause I set him off and got him all worked up. He will be angry all night and sometimes into morning when he leaves for work. It is always over petty things.

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Answer #1

Well people have different ways of looking at things. You walk out of the room and you stop thinking about it. He’s still holding onto it and chewing over it. My supervisor likes to compare ruminating to a cow chewing cud. Holding onto the the thought and just chewing and chewing and chewing. He’s making himself more mad by going over it again and again. That’s just how he is. It’s not the healthiest way to be, but when he says you set him off, you may want to point out that you cannot force him to behave in any particular way. He CHOOSES to get annoyed and react in anger. That is his choice. He has no right to imply you make him mad. You cant make anyone mad. They choose to get mad.

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