Why does my boyfriend do this? Its confusing!!?

Hey! Um, this is a really complicated thing to describe, but ill try to the best of my ability. ok, so, here it goes. My boyfriend and I had a talk about the possibility of losing our virginity to eachother. I told him I wasn’t ready, so that was that. He said he’d wait for me. So, instead of actually having sex, we decided to just do other things instead, like hj and stuff. So, when I got home from his place the other night, we was talking on the internet, and he said he wants to stop doing the sexual stuff. I was confused, but asked why. And, he said that whenever he gets a boner, he feels the need to have sex, and he doesn’t want to risk getting pushy if he was frisky, so he said he couldnt do it anymore. He’s 15, but when he turns 16, he’ll get his licence and his own car. He asked if I was ready to lose my virginity yet, and I said I might. He said that maybe we could do it when he gets his car/licence, but until then NO SEXUAL CONTACT. I was shocked, because thats basically what I love doing. But, I agreed, although I did say that I understood, and quietly questioned his decision. He gets boners really easily, and gets really frisky when he gets one. He gets boners just from kissing, and the weird thing is, when he gets one he presses himself up against me while we’re standing up, almost like hes trying to show me he has a boner. But, I’ve searched that already, so all I really need to know is, should I object to his request? or is he right ? I don’t know what to do, because this is my first real relationship, as it is his too. We’re both virgins, and he’s 15 and im 14. He’ll be 16 in October. We’ve been going out since December, although we’ve secretly loved eachother since we were kids. In advance, I’d like to say thankyou for your opinions and your help. Hugs. xx

Answer #1

You and your boyfriend made an important decision to not have sex and you made that decision together. That’s great. It’s probably the best decision you could have made as a young couple. The reason you feel hurt and and don’t understand his newest decision is because he made this decision on his own. He simply informed you on what he was and wasn’t going to do in your relationship and that can be confusing. You should talk to him and ask him what made him change his mind and no longer want to engage in any sexual activity, so you can at least know where he’s coming from. My personal thoughts on it are that it isn’t meant to upset or offend you, he just can’t stand the ‘teasing’ feeling of it anymore and he doesn’t want to do something you both may regret in the heat of the moment. When he gets an erection he presses it against you because the pressure feels good, it’s like a natural reaction. When something sexual feels good, you want to keep going and feel more intense pleasure…before you know it you’re both naked and he’s penetrated you with no condom and you’ve both lost your virginity without hardly noticing it was happening. That’s not what either of you want and it isn’t a good situation. I agree with his decision. It’s most likely nothing personal, he just wants you both to be able to stick to your decision with the least amount of temptation to ruin it until you are both ready.

Answer #2

you should trust his decision he’s really doing it for you so he doesnt put you in a bad situation well hope it helps.

Answer #3

I think he’s trying to do what’s best for you by not wanting to do anything sexual just in case he pushes you into having sex when you’re not ready. Perhaps you should just chat with him about it and set some boundaries. Good luck. x

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