Why do I act this way?

I haven’t had many boyfriends that I haven’t cheated on. I don’t enjoy hurting these guys and I don’t know why I keep doing it.. I only started doing it when I turned 17. I would really like to get this under control and settle down with someone.

Answer #1

You know how they say college isn’t for everyone? That some people are very skilled at working with their hands and don’t really need three semesters of psychology in order to become an excellent plumber? But still, the overarching rule that all students grow up under is that after high school, you’re supposed to go to college. So too, we all grow up under the impression that we’re all supposed to fall in love, be in monogamous relationships, and stay that way until kids happen. But monogamous relationships aren’t for everyone.

No one said you had to stay with one and only one person (the Bible notwithstanding. It also says we’re supposed to wear tassels on all our clothes. Fashion no-no). If you like having sex with lots of people, find yourself someone who wants an open relationship, and then you can be guaranteed they won’t be hurt when you fool around. Or find someone with a cuckold fetish who gets excited and aroused when you fool around on him. Or find a polygamous relationship, which is still committed but also varied.

Point is, there are lots of alternatives to the one-man/one-woman rule that for some reason, you find yourself rebelling against. But if you’re committed to finding that special someONE, therapy is your best option.

Answer #2

I was always the same way when I was in high school from 15-18, but I always thought the grass was greener on the other side, but it isn’t. I enjoyed hooking up after I lost my virginity to my boyfriend of a year but after that I started getting more curious. I wouldn’t say I slept around, but I kissed guys and had oral and sometimes my boyfriend’s would find out and sometimes they wouldn’t it was almost like a game, and I was learning how to love. The first time I got cheated on though by someone I truly loved, I realized what I was doing to other peoples emotions and just how bad it hurt and made me want to change and treat people the way I want to be treated. It sounds so cliche’ but it’s true and I used to feel the same way always questioning why I hurt the people who care about me the most and push the best guys away for hot jerks who just want to have sex. I have a boyfriend of 4 happy years now and I am 21, so you can control yourself you just have to want to and don’t put yourself in those types of situations where you will be tempted and always have a best friend who won’t let guys take advantage of you at parties or whatever you know what I mean…Hope this helped!

Answer #3

those all helped a bunch! I know im not ready to settle down.. but dating I dont mind.. but when I really truly do love someone I cant help it.. and I do put myself in those situations.. with a bunch of a holes that only want sex.. I dont know why I like that attention..

Answer #4

I’ve been the same way untill my resent boyfriend…I had the same wuestion. I think its kinda your not ready to settle doen like you think you are but your brain says no. either the guy syou are with are not what you really want or you dont really love them…that sall I can say. when you find the guy who you love it will stop but ualso have to have the willpower to stop

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