Why are parents never satisfied?

My parents always have something to complain about. They always think im not doing the right thing, selfish, dumb, immature, or dont pray enough. Im female, in medical school, doing well, living on my own, have no kids yet, not married yet, I make the right choices, and just an over all good person. But yet everytime I call my parents they have something to critize or talk bad about my life. Sometimes I have no idea what they are talking about. Its like nothing I do is ever enough for them, they always wanted more from me. Sometimes feel like maybe its because Im doing the right things and that’s be glad to have me. I really wonder if parents are ever just proud of their kids and leave them alone? I need to know please!!!

Answer #1

Dear br202016, Because you live on your own you have more control over this situation if you were still under their roof. You have the choice to hang up the phone leave their home and speak with them about how you should be treated. We can’t satisfy some people but all people treat us the way we let them. When they say negative things about you on the phone…you simply say “that’s a negative remark and I will say goodbye and next time we speak lets be positive” and then say goodbye. While at their home you do the same “ that is a negative remark and I will leave and next time I’ll stay if your more positive” Then you leave. Making sure to say goodbye and I love you as you hang up or leave. This will take a few time but within a few weeks you will see a difference. Sue…good luck

Answer #2

This could be a number of things. The fact that you are doing so well might be making your folks be hypercritical so they can still feel like they are guiding you in life. They might resent that you are able to do things they couldn’t when they were younger. I even knew one woman who after she moved out got mean and hurtful phonecalls from her mom simply because her mom missed all the housework the daughter used to do before she moved out.

Regardless of the reason the solution is still the same. Don’t give your parents enough power to make you feel bad about yourself. You have to learn to difuse their comments. You might thank them for their concerns then say that you aren’t worried about it, are already taking care of it, that you don’t agree that its a problem, or that you have other priorities now. If they try to argue inform them that you already made your decision and aren’t entertaining any further discussion. You are an adult and you have to put your foot down. You don’t have to be mean or ugly about it (in fact it is better not to) but you do have to stand your ground.

Answer #3

My mom is proud of me although she has absolutely no reason to be. I’d tell you everything I did wrong, but that would fill in a whole book.

Weird.

Answer #4

I’m 27, married with 3 kids. Your parents will NEVER be satisfied with your life. Thats just the way it is. Your parents will always find something to nitpick about because you know what, if they didn’t have something to pick at you for, they’d probably feel like they’re not needed anymore. just smile and say “i know”

Answer #5

It’s tough when your parents seem like they couldn’t care less about what you’re as how you are. My mom always loving, but my dad, I could breath fire while standing in a pool of acid and he’d say,” What, is that all?” A parents support and affirmation is so critical to a child that it can even break the spirit if not kept in check. I feel for you. The work load in college, let alone med school, is hard enough without having your parents in your ear nattering.

I don’t know your parents’ life so I could only guess at best, but I’d say they needed to tell you they are proud of you and that they love you. Even if they don’t know that there are those of us who encourage others like ourselves. Stay strong, study hard and enjoy your time in school.

I’m proud of you. Keep it up. :)

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