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Why am I scared of my own father?

Ok my life is very comlicated! In my life I really had 2 dads! My real father was in jail for an accident when I was born and I didnt meet him till I was in kindergarden and then he just left agian when I was in 2nd cause he thought he was confusing me… But while he wasnt there my older sisters dad was always there for me and in my heart he will always be my dad. But now my mom wants me to get to know my real dad and a part of me doesnt want him to be apart of it but im trying really hard! I just saw him on the 8th in march and now for my birthday my mom wants us to be together for my birthday dinner! Why do I feel that he isnt a apart of my life? Why am I scared to get to know him? Please help me!

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Answer #1

You feel he’s not a part of your life because he hasn’t made any significant influence in you. He left you when you were about 8 years old I take it. At that age, the chances of you remembering anything with him is a bit small. Your sisters father on the other hand has had that fatherly influence over you, he was there when your real dad wasn’t. I wouldn’t blame you for that, I’ve gone through (and still am) going through issues with dads.

I would say it’s normal to feel scared. Your mother seems to want you to support the idea but hasn’t asked you what you think about. This is about you and it’s important that she’s knows what you want. If you don’t want him in your life then so be it, let your real father earn his spot. Don’t just hand it to him on a silver platter. It doesn’t work like that. Talk to your mum, she needs to know what you think.

Hope this helps.

Answer #2

this situation is very understandable. of course you are scared, angry or at the very least worried about continuing your disrupted relationship with your real dad. Why?

here are some reasons:

  1. your dad left you. its reason enough to harbor hard feelings for him.
  2. he was in jail. that’s kinda scary.
  3. the dad you have now (your sister’s dad) is what you consider as the father figure in your life. you wont want to disrespect or like, get him kinda jealous or something.
  4. you are also probably scared because if you 2 get close and he leaves again, you’ll be really heartbroken (I’m not saying he’ll leave, im saying it might be possible :s im sorry :s)

this is really a complicated situation you’re in. you might wanna sort out your feelings first. if this happened to me. I’d probably get to know my real dad but I’ll be cautious about my feelings in case he leaves again as I wouldnt want to be devastated/disappointed. :s

good luck!

Answer #3

it might be because he was in jail until you were in kindergarten and left and maybe some part of you doubts all of the excuses and your afraid of finding out the “truth”. or your so use to having this one dad and suddenly there is this new person in your life that has the same title “dad” and your brain is being confused and it uses fear to over ride that confusion.

Answer #4

hey im lauren im 13 and I dont have a dad either. its so much pain isnt it ;( I always cry. I got a school counslor and she really help me to try andull though and just talk to somebody. never look back she tells me all the time I had brain damage once.. I died and had to come back the pain that he wasnt there scars me for life if you ever need to talk im always going to be there. Or if you want to find him jeremy kylecan help :D a lot :D xxx

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